diff --git a/.vscode/c_cpp_properties.json b/.vscode/c_cpp_properties.json
index e29dce9b5..ea4774c94 100644
--- a/.vscode/c_cpp_properties.json
+++ b/.vscode/c_cpp_properties.json
@@ -41,8 +41,8 @@
 				"interruptfn=",
 				"optimizespeed=",
 				"forcealignargpointer=",
-				"noasan=",
-				"noubsan=",
+				"dontasan=",
+				"dontubsan=",
 				"donothing=",
 				"nosideeffect=",
 				"unreachable=",,
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index e7da543dd..acc04989b 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -143,8 +143,8 @@ machine](https://github.com/jart/blink) by adding the following to the
 top of your main.c file:
 
 ```c
-STATIC_YOINK("blink_linux_aarch64");  // for raspberry pi
-STATIC_YOINK("blink_xnu_aarch64");    // is apple silicon
+__static_yoink("blink_linux_aarch64");  // for raspberry pi
+__static_yoink("blink_xnu_aarch64");    // is apple silicon
 ```
 
 The benefit is you'll have single file executables that'll run on both
diff --git a/ape/aarch64.lds b/ape/aarch64.lds
index 6ccda2ed5..b19d6b879 100644
--- a/ape/aarch64.lds
+++ b/ape/aarch64.lds
@@ -72,7 +72,9 @@ SECTIONS {
     KEEP(*(SORT_NONE(.fini)))
   } =0x1f2003d5
 
-  .privileged ALIGN(CONSTANT(COMMONPAGESIZE)) : {
+  . += CONSTANT(COMMONPAGESIZE);
+
+  .privileged : {
     __privileged_start = .;
     *(.privileged*)
   } =0x1f2003d6
@@ -119,7 +121,7 @@ SECTIONS {
   _etext = .;
   PROVIDE(etext = .);
 
-  . = ALIGN(CONSTANT(COMMONPAGESIZE));
+  . += CONSTANT(COMMONPAGESIZE);
   . = DATA_SEGMENT_ALIGN(CONSTANT(COMMONPAGESIZE), CONSTANT(COMMONPAGESIZE));
 
   .eh_frame : ONLY_IF_RW {
diff --git a/ape/ape-m1.c b/ape/ape-m1.c
index 39a657efc..86c282074 100644
--- a/ape/ape-m1.c
+++ b/ape/ape-m1.c
@@ -190,6 +190,19 @@ static int StrCmp(const char *l, const char *r) {
   return (l[i] & 255) - (r[i] & 255);
 }
 
+static const char *BaseName(const char *s) {
+  int c;
+  const char *b = "";
+  if (s) {
+    while ((c = *s++)) {
+      if (c == '/') {
+        b = s;
+      }
+    }
+  }
+  return b;
+}
+
 static void Bzero(void *a, unsigned long n) {
   long z;
   char *p, *e;
@@ -848,7 +861,7 @@ int main(int argc, char **argv, char **envp) {
   } else if (argc < 2) {
     Emit("usage: ape   PROG [ARGV1,ARGV2,...]\n"
          "       ape - PROG [ARGV0,ARGV1,...]\n"
-         "actually portable executable loader silicon 1.4\n"
+         "actually portable executable loader silicon 1.5\n"
          "copyright 2023 justine alexandra roberts tunney\n"
          "https://justine.lol/ape.html\n");
     _exit(1);
@@ -871,7 +884,8 @@ int main(int argc, char **argv, char **envp) {
   pe = M->ehdr.buf + rc;
 
   // resolve argv[0] to reflect path search
-  if (argc > 0 && *prog != '/' && *exe == '/' && !StrCmp(prog, argv[0])) {
+  if ((argc > 0 && *prog != '/' && *exe == '/' && !StrCmp(prog, argv[0])) ||
+      !StrCmp(BaseName(prog), argv[0])) {
     tp -= (n = StrLen(exe) + 1);
     MemMove(tp, exe, n);
     argv[0] = tp;
diff --git a/ape/ape.S b/ape/ape.S
index 41ef92d89..a2b5b1c17 100644
--- a/ape/ape.S
+++ b/ape/ape.S
@@ -610,7 +610,7 @@ apesh:	.ascii	"\n@\n#'\"\n"			// sixth edition shebang
 //	extract the loader into a temp folder, and use it to
 //	load the APE without modifying it.
 	.ascii	  "[ x\"$1\" != x--assimilate ] && {\n"
-	.ascii	    "t=\"${TMPDIR:-${HOME:-.}}/.ape-1.4\"\n"
+	.ascii	    "t=\"${TMPDIR:-${HOME:-.}}/.ape-1.5\"\n"
 	.ascii	    "[ -x \"$t\" ] || {\n"
 	.ascii	      "mkdir -p \"${t%/*}\" &&\n"
 	.ascii	      "dd if=\"$o\" of=\"$t.$$\" skip="
@@ -717,8 +717,8 @@ emush:	.ascii	"\n@\n#'\"\n"
 	.previous
 //	...
 //	decentralized section (.emush)
-//	- STATIC_YOINK("blink_linux_aarch64");  // for raspberry pi
-//	- STATIC_YOINK("blink_xnu_aarch64");    // is apple silicon
+//	- __static_yoink("blink_linux_aarch64");  // for raspberry pi
+//	- __static_yoink("blink_xnu_aarch64");    // is apple silicon
 //	...
         .section .emushepilogue,"a",@progbits
 	.ascii	"echo \"$0: this ape binary lacks $m support\" >&2\n"
@@ -818,7 +818,7 @@ ape.ident:
 	.long	1
 1:	.asciz	"APE"
 2:	.balign	4
-3:	.long	104000000
+3:	.long	105000000
 4:	.size	ape.ident,.-ape.ident
 	.type	ape.ident,@object
 	.previous
diff --git a/ape/ape.lds b/ape/ape.lds
index 34fdfb73b..095ddf17c 100644
--- a/ape/ape.lds
+++ b/ape/ape.lds
@@ -432,6 +432,7 @@ SECTIONS {
     KEEP(*(SORT_BY_NAME(.piro.data.sort.*)))
     KEEP(*(.piro.pad.data))
     KEEP(*(.dataepilogue))
+    . = ALIGN(512);
 /*END: NT FORK COPYING */
     _edata = .;
     PROVIDE(edata = .);
diff --git a/ape/ape.mk b/ape/ape.mk
index c9b6a1524..767404ab9 100644
--- a/ape/ape.mk
+++ b/ape/ape.mk
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ APELINK =					\
 	$(FIXUPOBJ)				\
 	$@
 
-APE_SRCS = ape/ape.S
+APE_SRCS = ape/ape.S ape/start.S ape/launch.S ape/systemcall.S
 APE_OBJS = o/$(MODE)/ape/ape.o
 APE_NO_MODIFY_SELF = $(APE)
 APE_COPY_SELF = $(APE)
@@ -52,6 +52,54 @@ o/$(MODE)/ape/aarch64.lds:			\
 	libc/macros.internal.h			\
 	libc/str/str.h
 
+APE_LOADER_LDFLAGS =				\
+	-pie					\
+	-static					\
+	-nostdlib				\
+	--no-dynamic-linker			\
+	-z norelro				\
+	-z common-page-size=0x4000		\
+	-z max-page-size=0x4000
+
+APE_LOADER_FLAGS =				\
+	-DNDEBUG				\
+	-iquote.				\
+	-Wall					\
+	-Wextra					\
+	-fpie					\
+	-Os					\
+	-ffreestanding				\
+	-mgeneral-regs-only			\
+	-fno-asynchronous-unwind-tables		\
+	-fno-stack-protector			\
+	-fno-ident				\
+	-fno-gnu-unique				\
+	-c					\
+	 $(OUTPUT_OPTION)			\
+	$<
+
+o/$(MODE)/ape/ape.elf: o/$(MODE)/ape/ape.elf.dbg
+	$(COMPILE) -AOBJCOPY -T$@ $(OBJCOPY) -g $< $@
+
+o/$(MODE)/ape/ape.elf.dbg:			\
+		o/$(MODE)/ape/start.o		\
+		o/$(MODE)/ape/loader.o		\
+		o/$(MODE)/ape/launch.o		\
+		o/$(MODE)/ape/systemcall.o
+	@$(COMPILE) -ALINK.elf $(LD) $(APE_LOADER_LDFLAGS) -o $@ $(patsubst %.lds,-T %.lds,$^)
+
+o/$(MODE)/ape/loader.o: ape/loader.c
+	@$(COMPILE) -AOBJECTIFY.c $(CC) -DSUPPORT_VECTOR=1 -g $(APE_LOADER_FLAGS)
+o/$(MODE)/ape/start.o: ape/start.S
+	@$(COMPILE) -AOBJECTIFY.S $(OBJECTIFY.S) $(OUTPUT_OPTION) -c $<
+o/$(MODE)/ape/launch.o: ape/launch.S
+	@$(COMPILE) -AOBJECTIFY.S $(OBJECTIFY.S) $(OUTPUT_OPTION) -c $<
+o/$(MODE)/ape/systemcall.o: ape/systemcall.S
+	@$(COMPILE) -AOBJECTIFY.S $(OBJECTIFY.S) $(OUTPUT_OPTION) -c $<
+
+.PHONY: o/$(MODE)/ape
+o/$(MODE)/ape: o/$(MODE)/ape/ape.elf
+
 else
 
 APE =	o/$(MODE)/ape/ape.o			\
diff --git a/ape/apeuninstall.sh b/ape/apeuninstall.sh
index 69a18d568..4279e219e 100755
--- a/ape/apeuninstall.sh
+++ b/ape/apeuninstall.sh
@@ -37,6 +37,7 @@ for x in .ape \
          .ape-1.1 \
          .ape-1.3 \
          .ape-1.4 \
+         .ape-1.5 \
          .ape-blink-0.9.2 \
          .ape-blink-1.0.0; do
   rm -f \
diff --git a/ape/launch.S b/ape/launch.S
index 581f66996..cbbe02abf 100644
--- a/ape/launch.S
+++ b/ape/launch.S
@@ -34,7 +34,44 @@
 //	@param	rdx is stack pointer (becomes zero)
 //	@param	rcx is passed through as-is
 //	@noreturn
-Launch:	xor	%r8d,%r8d
+Launch:
+#ifdef __aarch64__
+
+	mov	x16,x1
+	mov	sp,x2
+	mov	x1,0
+	mov	x2,0
+	mov	x3,0
+	mov	x4,0
+	mov	x5,0
+	mov	x6,0
+	mov	x7,0
+	mov	x8,0
+	mov	x9,0
+	mov	x10,0
+	mov	x11,0
+	mov	x12,0
+	mov	x13,0
+	mov	x14,0
+	mov	x15,0
+	mov	x17,0
+	mov	x19,0
+	mov	x20,0
+	mov	x21,0
+	mov	x22,0
+	mov	x23,0
+	mov	x24,0
+	mov	x25,0
+	mov	x26,0
+	mov	x27,0
+	mov	x28,0
+	mov	x29,0
+	mov	x30,0
+	br	x16
+
+#else
+
+	xor	%r8d,%r8d
 	xor	%r9d,%r9d
 	xor	%r10d,%r10d
 	xor	%r11d,%r11d
@@ -50,4 +87,6 @@ Launch:	xor	%r8d,%r8d
 	xor	%ebx,%ebx
 	xor	%eax,%eax
 	ret
+
+#endif
 	.endfn	Launch,globl
diff --git a/ape/loader.c b/ape/loader.c
index a02d675b3..40e6f8d04 100644
--- a/ape/loader.c
+++ b/ape/loader.c
@@ -98,6 +98,12 @@
 #define IsOpenbsd() (SupportsOpenbsd() && os == OPENBSD)
 #define IsNetbsd()  (SupportsNetbsd() && os == NETBSD)
 
+#ifdef __aarch64__
+#define IsAarch64() 1
+#else
+#define IsAarch64() 0
+#endif
+
 #define O_RDONLY           0
 #define PROT_NONE          0
 #define PROT_READ          1
@@ -111,6 +117,7 @@
 #define ELFCLASS32         1
 #define ELFDATA2LSB        1
 #define EM_NEXGEN32E       62
+#define EM_AARCH64         183
 #define ET_EXEC            2
 #define ET_DYN             3
 #define PT_LOAD            1
@@ -229,6 +236,19 @@ static int StrCmp(const char *l, const char *r) {
   return (l[i] & 255) - (r[i] & 255);
 }
 
+static const char *BaseName(const char *s) {
+  int c;
+  const char *b = "";
+  if (s) {
+    while ((c = *s++)) {
+      if (c == '/') {
+        b = s;
+      }
+    }
+  }
+  return b;
+}
+
 static void Bzero(void *a, unsigned long n) {
   long z;
   char *p, *e;
@@ -354,42 +374,86 @@ __attribute__((__noinline__)) static long CallSystem(long arg1, long arg2,
 }
 
 __attribute__((__noreturn__)) static void Exit(long rc, int os) {
-  CallSystem(rc, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 60 : 1, os);
+  int numba;
+  if (IsLinux()) {
+    if (IsAarch64()) {
+      numba = 94;
+    } else {
+      numba = 60;
+    }
+  } else {
+    numba = 1;
+  }
+  CallSystem(rc, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, numba, os);
   __builtin_unreachable();
 }
 
 static int Close(int fd, int os) {
-  return CallSystem(fd, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 3 : 6, os);
+  int numba;
+  if (IsLinux()) {
+    if (IsAarch64()) {
+      numba = 57;
+    } else {
+      numba = 3;
+    }
+  } else {
+    numba = 6;
+  }
+  return CallSystem(fd, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, numba, os);
 }
 
 static long Pread(int fd, void *data, unsigned long size, long off, int os) {
-  long magi;
+  long numba;
   if (IsLinux()) {
-    magi = 0x011;
+    if (IsAarch64()) {
+      numba = 0x043;
+    } else {
+      numba = 0x011;
+    }
   } else if (IsXnu()) {
-    magi = 0x2000099;
+    numba = 0x2000099;
   } else if (IsFreebsd()) {
-    magi = 0x1db;
+    numba = 0x1db;
   } else if (IsOpenbsd()) {
-    magi = 0x0a9; /* OpenBSD v7.3+ */
+    numba = 0x0a9; /* OpenBSD v7.3+ */
   } else if (IsNetbsd()) {
-    magi = 0x0ad;
+    numba = 0x0ad;
   } else {
     __builtin_unreachable();
   }
-  return SystemCall(fd, (long)data, size, off, off, 0, 0, magi);
+  return SystemCall(fd, (long)data, size, off, off, 0, 0, numba);
 }
 
 static long Write(int fd, const void *data, unsigned long size, int os) {
-  return CallSystem(fd, (long)data, size, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 1 : 4, os);
+  int numba;
+  if (IsLinux()) {
+    if (IsAarch64()) {
+      numba = 64;
+    } else {
+      numba = 1;
+    }
+  } else {
+    numba = 4;
+  }
+  return CallSystem(fd, (long)data, size, 0, 0, 0, 0, numba, os);
 }
 
 static int Execve(const char *prog, char **argv, char **envp, int os) {
-  return CallSystem((long)prog, (long)argv, (long)envp, 0, 0, 0, 0, 59, os);
+  int numba;
+  if (IsLinux() && IsAarch64()) {
+    numba = 221;
+  } else {
+    numba = 59;
+  }
+  return CallSystem((long)prog, (long)argv, (long)envp, 0, 0, 0, 0, numba, os);
 }
 
 static int Access(const char *path, int mode, int os) {
-  return CallSystem((long)path, mode, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 21 : 33, os);
+  if (IsLinux() && IsAarch64()) {
+    return SystemCall(-100, (long)path, mode, 0, 0, 0, 0, 48);
+  } else {
+    return CallSystem((long)path, mode, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 21 : 33, os);
+  }
 }
 
 static int Msyscall(long p, unsigned long n, int os) {
@@ -401,31 +465,49 @@ static int Msyscall(long p, unsigned long n, int os) {
 }
 
 static int Open(const char *path, int flags, int mode, int os) {
-  return CallSystem((long)path, flags, mode, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 2 : 5, os);
+  if (IsLinux() && IsAarch64()) {
+    return SystemCall(-100, (long)path, flags, mode, 0, 0, 0, 56);
+  } else {
+    return CallSystem((long)path, flags, mode, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 2 : 5,
+                      os);
+  }
 }
 
 static int Mprotect(void *addr, unsigned long size, int prot, int os) {
-  return CallSystem((long)addr, size, prot, 0, 0, 0, 0, IsLinux() ? 10 : 74,
-                    os);
+  int numba;
+  if (IsLinux()) {
+    if (IsAarch64()) {
+      numba = 226;
+    } else {
+      numba = 10;
+    }
+  } else {
+    numba = 74;
+  }
+  return CallSystem((long)addr, size, prot, 0, 0, 0, 0, numba, os);
 }
 
 static long Mmap(void *addr, unsigned long size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
                  long off, int os) {
-  long magi;
+  long numba;
   if (IsLinux()) {
-    magi = 9;
+    if (IsAarch64()) {
+      numba = 222;
+    } else {
+      numba = 9;
+    }
   } else if (IsXnu()) {
-    magi = 0x2000000 | 197;
+    numba = 0x2000000 | 197;
   } else if (IsFreebsd()) {
-    magi = 477;
+    numba = 477;
   } else if (IsOpenbsd()) {
-    magi = 49; /* OpenBSD v7.3+ */
+    numba = 49; /* OpenBSD v7.3+ */
   } else if (IsNetbsd()) {
-    magi = 197;
+    numba = 197;
   } else {
     __builtin_unreachable();
   }
-  return SystemCall((long)addr, size, prot, flags, fd, off, off, magi);
+  return SystemCall((long)addr, size, prot, flags, fd, off, off, numba);
 }
 
 static long Print(int os, int fd, const char *s, ...) {
@@ -703,9 +785,15 @@ static const char *TryElf(struct ApeLoader *M, const char *exe, int fd,
   if (e->e_type != ET_EXEC && e->e_type != ET_DYN) {
     return "ELF not ET_EXEC or ET_DYN";
   }
+#ifdef __aarch64__
+  if (e->e_machine != EM_AARCH64) {
+    return "couldn't find ELF header with AARCH64 machine type";
+  }
+#else
   if (e->e_machine != EM_NEXGEN32E) {
     return "couldn't find ELF header with x86-64 machine type";
   }
+#endif
   if (e->e_phentsize != sizeof(struct ElfPhdr)) {
     Pexit(os, exe, 0, "e_phentsize is wrong");
   }
@@ -796,7 +884,7 @@ static __attribute__((__noreturn__)) void ShowUsage(int os, int fd, int rc) {
   Print(os, fd,
         "NAME\n"
         "\n"
-        "  actually portable executable loader version 1.4\n"
+        "  actually portable executable loader version 1.5\n"
         "  copyright 2023 justine alexandra roberts tunney\n"
         "  https://justine.lol/ape.html\n"
         "\n"
@@ -814,10 +902,10 @@ static __attribute__((__noreturn__)) void ShowUsage(int os, int fd, int rc) {
   Exit(rc, os);
 }
 
-__attribute__((__noreturn__)) void ApeLoader(long di, long *sp, char dl) {
+__attribute__((__noreturn__)) //
+void ApeLoader(long di, long *sp, char dl) {
   int rc;
   unsigned i, n;
-  int usetheforce;
   int c, fd, os, argc;
   struct ApeLoader *M;
   unsigned long pagesz;
@@ -879,14 +967,11 @@ __attribute__((__noreturn__)) void ApeLoader(long di, long *sp, char dl) {
   }
 
   /* parse flags */
-  usetheforce = 0;
   while (argc > 1) {
     if (argv[1][0] != '-') break; /* normal argument */
     if (!argv[1][1]) break;       /* hyphen argument */
     if (!StrCmp(argv[1], "-h") || !StrCmp(argv[1], "--help")) {
       ShowUsage(os, 1, 0);
-    } else if (!StrCmp(argv[1], "-f")) {
-      usetheforce = 1;
     } else {
       Print(os, 2, ape, ": invalid flag (pass -h for help)\n", 0l);
       Exit(1, os);
@@ -926,25 +1011,16 @@ __attribute__((__noreturn__)) void ApeLoader(long di, long *sp, char dl) {
   pe = M->ehdr.buf + rc;
 
   /* change argv[0] to resolved path if it's ambiguous */
-  if (argc > 0 && *prog != '/' && *exe == '/' && !StrCmp(prog, argv[0])) {
+  if ((argc > 0 && *prog != '/' && *exe == '/' && !StrCmp(prog, argv[0])) ||
+      !StrCmp(BaseName(prog), argv[0])) {
     argv[0] = exe;
   }
 
   /* ape intended behavior
-     1. if file is a native executable, try to run it natively
-     2. if ape, will scan shell script for elf printf statements
-     3. shell script may have multiple lines producing elf headers
-     4. all elf printf lines must exist in the first 8192 bytes of file
-     5. elf program headers may appear anywhere in the binary */
-  if (!usetheforce &&
-      ((IsXnu() && READ32(M->ehdr.buf) == 0xFEEDFACE + 1) ||
-       (!IsXnu() && READ32(M->ehdr.buf) == READ32("\177ELF")))) {
-    Close(fd, os);
-    Execve(exe, argv, envp, os);
-    if ((fd = Open(exe, O_RDONLY, 0, os)) < 0) {
-      Pexit(os, exe, rc, "execve and open failed");
-    }
-  }
+     1. if ape, will scan shell script for elf printf statements
+     2. shell script may have multiple lines producing elf headers
+     3. all elf printf lines must exist in the first 8192 bytes of file
+     4. elf program headers may appear anywhere in the binary */
   if (READ64(M->ehdr.buf) == READ64("MZqFpD='") ||
       READ64(M->ehdr.buf) == READ64("jartsr='") ||
       READ64(M->ehdr.buf) == READ64("APEDBG='")) {
diff --git a/ape/start.S b/ape/start.S
index 32b61543f..c04b33d43 100644
--- a/ape/start.S
+++ b/ape/start.S
@@ -19,6 +19,15 @@
 #include "libc/dce.h"
 #include "libc/macros.internal.h"
 
+#ifdef __aarch64__
+
+_start:	mov	x1,sp
+	mov	x29,0
+	bl	ApeLoader
+	.endfn	_start,globl
+
+#else
+
 XnuEntrypoint:
 	mov	$_HOSTXNU,%dl			// xnu's not unix!
 ElfEntrypoint:
@@ -56,6 +65,8 @@ ape.ident:
 	.long	1
 1:	.asciz	"APE"
 2:	.balign	4
-3:	.long	104000000
+3:	.long	105000000
 4:	.size	ape.ident,.-ape.ident
 	.type	ape.ident,@object
+
+#endif
diff --git a/ape/systemcall.S b/ape/systemcall.S
index 22652d800..4e0afc39a 100644
--- a/ape/systemcall.S
+++ b/ape/systemcall.S
@@ -28,6 +28,16 @@
 //	errors are returned as `-errno`. BSD systems are normalized
 //	to follow this convention automatically.
 SystemCall:
+#ifdef __aarch64__
+	mov	x8,x7
+	mov	x9,0
+	adds	x9,x9,0
+	svc	0
+	bcs	1f
+	ret
+1:	neg	x0,x0
+	ret
+#else
 	mov	%rcx,%r10
 	mov	16(%rsp),%eax
 	clc
@@ -35,4 +45,5 @@ SystemCall:
 	jnc	1f
 	neg	%rax
 1:	ret
+#endif
 	.endfn	SystemCall,globl
diff --git a/build/bootstrap/ape.aarch64 b/build/bootstrap/ape.aarch64
new file mode 100755
index 000000000..a46b1f515
Binary files /dev/null and b/build/bootstrap/ape.aarch64 differ
diff --git a/build/bootstrap/ape.elf b/build/bootstrap/ape.elf
index 5c1720dcd..f2e65048e 100755
Binary files a/build/bootstrap/ape.elf and b/build/bootstrap/ape.elf differ
diff --git a/build/bootstrap/ape.macho b/build/bootstrap/ape.macho
index 3a8fecf40..7be50986c 100755
Binary files a/build/bootstrap/ape.macho and b/build/bootstrap/ape.macho differ
diff --git a/build/bootstrap/ape.silicon b/build/bootstrap/ape.silicon
index d918ddea4..179a84f94 100755
Binary files a/build/bootstrap/ape.silicon and b/build/bootstrap/ape.silicon differ
diff --git a/dsp/tty/quant.h b/dsp/tty/quant.h
index 5cf1d084d..a0422ebf4 100644
--- a/dsp/tty/quant.h
+++ b/dsp/tty/quant.h
@@ -75,7 +75,7 @@ extern char *ttyraster(char *, const struct TtyRgb *, size_t, size_t,
 
 #ifndef ttyquant
 #define ttyquant()    (&g_ttyquant_)
-#define TTYQUANT()    VEIL("r", &g_ttyquant_)
+#define TTYQUANT()    __veil("r", &g_ttyquant_)
 #define rgb2tty(...)  (ttyquant()->rgb2tty(__VA_ARGS__))
 #define tty2rgb(...)  (ttyquant()->tty2rgb(__VA_ARGS__))
 #define rgb2ttyf(...) (ttyquant()->rgb2ttyf(__VA_ARGS__))
diff --git a/examples/certapp.c b/examples/certapp.c
index bd4253839..d68b45e04 100644
--- a/examples/certapp.c
+++ b/examples/certapp.c
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/ssl.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/x509_crt.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("ssl_root_support");
+__static_yoink("ssl_root_support");
 
 #define MODE_NONE 0
 #define MODE_FILE 1
diff --git a/examples/check.c b/examples/check.c
index 293ab01e5..769421ecc 100644
--- a/examples/check.c
+++ b/examples/check.c
@@ -75,8 +75,8 @@
  * the following functions to further expand the information shown by
  * the NDEBUG check failure:
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("__die");
- *     STATIC_YOINK("strerror");
+ *     __static_yoink("__die");
+ *     __static_yoink("strerror");
  *
  * Please note that backtraces aren't ever available in MODE=tiny.
  */
diff --git a/examples/crashreport.c b/examples/crashreport.c
index 35f656557..788832098 100644
--- a/examples/crashreport.c
+++ b/examples/crashreport.c
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
  *     o//examples/crashreport.com
  */
 
-noubsan int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
+dontubsan int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   kprintf("----------------\n");
   kprintf(" THIS IS A TEST \n");
   kprintf("SIMULATING CRASH\n");
diff --git a/examples/exec.c b/examples/exec.c
index 8ad300d1b..a690c6adb 100644
--- a/examples/exec.c
+++ b/examples/exec.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/sig.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror");
+__static_yoink("strerror");
 
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   sigset_t ss;
diff --git a/examples/nesemu1.cc b/examples/nesemu1.cc
index 8c79aed9b..c6699f556 100644
--- a/examples/nesemu1.cc
+++ b/examples/nesemu1.cc
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@
 #include "third_party/libcxx/vector"
 #include "tool/viz/lib/knobs.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 #define USAGE \
   " [ROM] [FMV]\n\
diff --git a/examples/system.c b/examples/system.c
index 8050067d8..aecfcbfe5 100644
--- a/examples/system.c
+++ b/examples/system.c
@@ -15,8 +15,8 @@
  * Yes this works on Windows.
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_tr");
-STATIC_YOINK("_sed");
+__static_yoink("_tr");
+__static_yoink("_sed");
 
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   system("x=world\n"
diff --git a/examples/vga.c b/examples/vga.c
index f26d4a6a1..3a39e7f12 100644
--- a/examples/vga.c
+++ b/examples/vga.c
@@ -28,12 +28,12 @@
  * Please note that, by default, APE binaries only use the serial port
  * for stdio. To get the VGA console as an added bonus:
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("vga_console");
+ *     __static_yoink("vga_console");
  *
  * Should be added to the top of your main() program source file.
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("vga_console");
+__static_yoink("vga_console");
 
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   volatile long double x = -.5;
diff --git a/examples/vga2.c b/examples/vga2.c
index 859b14364..3bc90bd1b 100644
--- a/examples/vga2.c
+++ b/examples/vga2.c
@@ -24,9 +24,9 @@
  *     qemu-system-x86_64 -hda o//examples/vga2.com -serial stdio
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("vga_console");
-STATIC_YOINK("_idt");
-STATIC_YOINK("EfiMain");
+__static_yoink("vga_console");
+__static_yoink("_idt");
+__static_yoink("EfiMain");
 
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   int i;
diff --git a/libc/assert.h b/libc/assert.h
index dc587df3c..0579e193a 100644
--- a/libc/assert.h
+++ b/libc/assert.h
@@ -18,8 +18,8 @@ void __assert_fail(const char *, const char *, int) relegated;
 #ifdef COSMO
 extern bool __assert_disable;
 #ifndef NDEBUG
-#define _unassert(x) __assert_macro(x, #x)
-#define _npassert(x) __assert_macro(x, #x)
+#define unassert(x) __assert_macro(x, #x)
+#define npassert(x) __assert_macro(x, #x)
 #define __assert_macro(x, s)                \
   ({                                        \
     if (__builtin_expect(!(x), 0)) {        \
@@ -29,14 +29,14 @@ extern bool __assert_disable;
     (void)0;                                \
   })
 #else
-#define _npassert(x)                 \
+#define npassert(x)                  \
   ({                                 \
     if (__builtin_expect(!(x), 0)) { \
       __builtin_trap();              \
     }                                \
     (void)0;                         \
   })
-#define _unassert(x)                 \
+#define unassert(x)                  \
   ({                                 \
     if (__builtin_expect(!(x), 0)) { \
       __builtin_unreachable();       \
diff --git a/libc/calls/alarm.c b/libc/calls/alarm.c
index 17828d9be..d76257986 100644
--- a/libc/calls/alarm.c
+++ b/libc/calls/alarm.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ unsigned alarm(unsigned seconds) {
   struct itimerval it;
   bzero(&it, sizeof(it));
   it.it_value.tv_sec = seconds;
-  _npassert(!setitimer(ITIMER_REAL, &it, &it));
+  npassert(!setitimer(ITIMER_REAL, &it, &it));
   if (!it.it_value.tv_sec && !it.it_value.tv_usec) {
     return 0;
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/calls/clock_nanosleep.c b/libc/calls/clock_nanosleep.c
index 7b8646ef0..01157780c 100644
--- a/libc/calls/clock_nanosleep.c
+++ b/libc/calls/clock_nanosleep.c
@@ -80,11 +80,11 @@ static struct timespec GetNanosleepLatency(void) {
   if (!(nanos = g_nanosleep_latency)) {
     BLOCK_CANCELLATIONS;
     for (cgt = __clock_gettime_get(0);;) {
-      _npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME_PRECISE, &x));
+      npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME_PRECISE, &x));
       rc = sys_clock_nanosleep(CLOCK_REALTIME, 0, &w, 0);
-      _npassert(!rc || rc == EINTR);
+      npassert(!rc || rc == EINTR);
       if (!rc) {
-        _npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME_PRECISE, &y));
+        npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME_PRECISE, &y));
         nanos = timespec_tonanos(timespec_sub(y, x));
         g_nanosleep_latency = nanos;
         break;
@@ -115,10 +115,10 @@ static errno_t SpinNanosleep(int clock, int flags, const struct timespec *req,
     return rc;
   }
   cgt = __clock_gettime_get(0);
-  _npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME, &start));
+  npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME, &start));
   for (;;) {
     sched_yield();
-    _npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME, &now));
+    npassert(!cgt(CLOCK_REALTIME, &now));
     if (flags & TIMER_ABSTIME) {
       if (timespec_cmp(now, *req) >= 0) {
         return 0;
diff --git a/libc/calls/dup-nt.c b/libc/calls/dup-nt.c
index 05d041eda..b0bbec3cc 100644
--- a/libc/calls/dup-nt.c
+++ b/libc/calls/dup-nt.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 // Implements dup(), dup2(), dup3(), and F_DUPFD for Windows.
 textwindows int sys_dup_nt(int oldfd, int newfd, int flags, int start) {
   int64_t rc, proc, handle;
-  _unassert(!(flags & ~O_CLOEXEC));
+  unassert(!(flags & ~O_CLOEXEC));
 
   __fds_lock();
 
diff --git a/libc/calls/dup3-sysv.c b/libc/calls/dup3-sysv.c
index 0c331420b..4cb873e83 100644
--- a/libc/calls/dup3-sysv.c
+++ b/libc/calls/dup3-sysv.c
@@ -45,9 +45,9 @@ static void sys_dup3_test(void) {
 
 int32_t sys_dup3(int32_t oldfd, int32_t newfd, int flags) {
   int how;
-  _unassert(oldfd >= 0);
-  _unassert(newfd >= 0);
-  _unassert(!(flags & ~O_CLOEXEC));
+  unassert(oldfd >= 0);
+  unassert(newfd >= 0);
+  unassert(!(flags & ~O_CLOEXEC));
 
   if (IsFreebsd()) {
     if (flags & O_CLOEXEC) {
diff --git a/libc/calls/execve-sysv.c b/libc/calls/execve-sysv.c
index e989f9109..18eb8da32 100644
--- a/libc/calls/execve-sysv.c
+++ b/libc/calls/execve-sysv.c
@@ -85,8 +85,8 @@ int sys_execve(const char *prog, char *const argv[], char *const envp[]) {
         (CanExecute((ape = "/usr/bin/ape")) ||
          CanExecute((ape = Join(firstnonnull(getenv("TMPDIR"),
                                              firstnonnull(getenv("HOME"), ".")),
-                                ".ape-1.4", buf))) ||
-         CanExecute((ape = Join(firstnonnull(getenv("HOME"), "."), ".ape-1.4",
+                                ".ape-1.5", buf))) ||
+         CanExecute((ape = Join(firstnonnull(getenv("HOME"), "."), ".ape-1.5",
                                 buf))))) {
       shargs[0] = ape;
       shargs[1] = "-";
diff --git a/libc/calls/fadvise.c b/libc/calls/fadvise.c
index 2c89cb1ae..2a5b13ddb 100644
--- a/libc/calls/fadvise.c
+++ b/libc/calls/fadvise.c
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ int fadvise(int fd, uint64_t offset, uint64_t len, int advice) {
     } else {
       rc = sys_fadvise_netbsd(fd, offset, offset, len, advice);
     }
-    _npassert(rc >= 0);
+    npassert(rc >= 0);
     if (rc) {
       errno = rc;
       rc = -1;
diff --git a/libc/calls/fexecve.c b/libc/calls/fexecve.c
index c2b5b208c..9b26dfed2 100644
--- a/libc/calls/fexecve.c
+++ b/libc/calls/fexecve.c
@@ -158,7 +158,7 @@ static int fd_to_mem_fd(const int infd, char *path) {
       if (path) {
         FormatInt32(stpcpy(path, "COSMOPOLITAN_INIT_ZIPOS="), fd);
       }
-      _unassert(readRc == st.st_size);
+      unassert(readRc == st.st_size);
       return fd;
     } else if (!success) {
       errno = e;
diff --git a/libc/calls/fixupnewfd.c b/libc/calls/fixupnewfd.c
index fd61c2486..0ceacb768 100644
--- a/libc/calls/fixupnewfd.c
+++ b/libc/calls/fixupnewfd.c
@@ -29,12 +29,12 @@ int __fixupnewfd(int fd, int flags) {
   int file_mode;
   if (fd != -1) {
     if (flags & O_CLOEXEC) {
-      _unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(fd, F_GETFD)) != -1);
-      _unassert(!__sys_fcntl(fd, F_SETFD, file_mode | FD_CLOEXEC));
+      unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(fd, F_GETFD)) != -1);
+      unassert(!__sys_fcntl(fd, F_SETFD, file_mode | FD_CLOEXEC));
     }
     if (flags & O_NONBLOCK) {
-      _unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(fd, F_GETFL)) != -1);
-      _unassert(!__sys_fcntl(fd, F_SETFL, file_mode | O_NONBLOCK));
+      unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(fd, F_GETFL)) != -1);
+      unassert(!__sys_fcntl(fd, F_SETFL, file_mode | O_NONBLOCK));
     }
   }
   return fd;
diff --git a/libc/calls/ftruncate-nt.c b/libc/calls/ftruncate-nt.c
index 17c1adbf2..5332441b4 100644
--- a/libc/calls/ftruncate-nt.c
+++ b/libc/calls/ftruncate-nt.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ textwindows int sys_ftruncate_nt(int64_t handle, uint64_t length) {
   if ((ok = SetFilePointerEx(handle, 0, &tell, kNtFileCurrent))) {
     ok = SetFilePointerEx(handle, length, NULL, kNtFileBegin) &&
          SetEndOfFile(handle);
-    _npassert(SetFilePointerEx(handle, tell, NULL, kNtFileBegin));
+    npassert(SetFilePointerEx(handle, tell, NULL, kNtFileBegin));
   }
   if (ok) {
     return 0;
diff --git a/libc/calls/getcwd.greg.c b/libc/calls/getcwd.greg.c
index 8a2934d36..a5f0cba30 100644
--- a/libc/calls/getcwd.greg.c
+++ b/libc/calls/getcwd.greg.c
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ char *getcwd(char *buf, size_t size) {
       return 0;
     }
   } else if (_weaken(malloc)) {
-    _unassert(!__vforked);
+    unassert(!__vforked);
     if (!size) size = PATH_MAX;
     if (!(p = _weaken(malloc)(size))) {
       STRACE("getcwd(%p, %'zu) %m", buf, size);
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ char *getcwd(char *buf, size_t size) {
     }
   } else {
     einval();
-    STRACE("getcwd() needs buf≠0 or STATIC_YOINK(\"malloc\")");
+    STRACE("getcwd() needs buf≠0 or __static_yoink(\"malloc\")");
     return 0;
   }
   *p = '\0';
diff --git a/libc/calls/getppid.c b/libc/calls/getppid.c
index e5e1b0efc..52df29760 100644
--- a/libc/calls/getppid.c
+++ b/libc/calls/getppid.c
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ int getppid(void) {
   } else {
     rc = sys_getppid_nt();
   }
-  _npassert(rc >= 0);
+  npassert(rc >= 0);
   STRACE("%s() → %d", "getppid", rc);
   return rc;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/getuid.c b/libc/calls/getuid.c
index 3eb6ce978..666224b6d 100644
--- a/libc/calls/getuid.c
+++ b/libc/calls/getuid.c
@@ -63,7 +63,7 @@ uint32_t getuid(void) {
   } else {
     rc = GetUserNameHash();
   }
-  _npassert(rc >= 0);
+  npassert(rc >= 0);
   STRACE("%s() → %d", "getuid", rc);
   return rc;
 }
@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ uint32_t getgid(void) {
   } else {
     rc = GetUserNameHash();
   }
-  _npassert(rc >= 0);
+  npassert(rc >= 0);
   STRACE("%s() → %d", "getgid", rc);
   return rc;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/ioctl.c b/libc/calls/ioctl.c
index abc510e6a..82550f954 100644
--- a/libc/calls/ioctl.c
+++ b/libc/calls/ioctl.c
@@ -291,7 +291,7 @@ static textwindows int createHostInfo(
   char name[IFNAMSIZ];
   int count, i;
   /* __hostInfo must be empty */
-  _unassert(__hostInfo == NULL);
+  unassert(__hostInfo == NULL);
   for (aa = firstAdapter; aa; aa = aa->Next) {
     /* Skip all the interfaces with no address and the ones that are not AF_INET
      */
diff --git a/libc/calls/metalfile.c b/libc/calls/metalfile.c
index aec4e225f..3b46de96e 100644
--- a/libc/calls/metalfile.c
+++ b/libc/calls/metalfile.c
@@ -47,12 +47,12 @@
 #define MAP_FIXED_linux     0x00000010
 #define MAP_SHARED_linux    0x00000001
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_init_metalfile");
+__static_yoink("_init_metalfile");
 
 void *__ape_com_base;
 size_t __ape_com_size = 0;
 
-textstartup noasan void InitializeMetalFile(void) {
+textstartup dontasan void InitializeMetalFile(void) {
   if (IsMetal()) {
     /*
      * Copy out a pristine image of the program — before the program might
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ textstartup noasan void InitializeMetalFile(void) {
      * This code is included if a symbol "file:/proc/self/exe" is defined
      * (see libc/calls/metalfile.internal.h & libc/calls/metalfile_init.S).
      * The zipos code will automatically arrange to do this.  Alternatively,
-     * user code can STATIC_YOINK this symbol.
+     * user code can __static_yoink this symbol.
      */
     size_t size = ROUNDUP(_ezip - __executable_start, 4096);
     // TODO(jart): Restore support for ZIPOS on metal.
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ textstartup noasan void InitializeMetalFile(void) {
     dm = sys_mmap_metal(NULL, size, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
                         MAP_SHARED_linux | MAP_ANONYMOUS_linux, -1, 0);
     copied_base = dm.addr;
-    _npassert(copied_base != (void *)-1);
+    npassert(copied_base != (void *)-1);
     memcpy(copied_base, (void *)(BANE + IMAGE_BASE_PHYSICAL), size);
     __ape_com_base = copied_base;
     __ape_com_size = size;
diff --git a/libc/calls/munmap-metal.c b/libc/calls/munmap-metal.c
index b4d69e11a..5bdbdcae8 100644
--- a/libc/calls/munmap-metal.c
+++ b/libc/calls/munmap-metal.c
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/pc.internal.h"
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-noasan int sys_munmap_metal(void *addr, size_t size) {
+dontasan int sys_munmap_metal(void *addr, size_t size) {
   size_t i;
   uint64_t *e, paddr;
   struct mman *mm = __get_mm();
diff --git a/libc/calls/now.c b/libc/calls/now.c
index 237ae58e3..d079d46ee 100644
--- a/libc/calls/now.c
+++ b/libc/calls/now.c
@@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ static long double nowl_art(void) {
 static long double nowl_vdso(void) {
   long double secs;
   struct timespec tv;
-  _unassert(__gettime);
+  unassert(__gettime);
   __gettime(CLOCK_REALTIME_PRECISE, &tv);
   secs = tv.tv_nsec;
   secs *= 1 / 1e9L;
diff --git a/libc/calls/open-nt.c b/libc/calls/open-nt.c
index bcc7c032d..e8b41e580 100644
--- a/libc/calls/open-nt.c
+++ b/libc/calls/open-nt.c
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ static textwindows int sys_open_nt_console(int dirfd,
              -1) {
     g_fds.p[fd].extra = sys_open_nt_impl(dirfd, mp->conout,
                                          (flags & ~O_ACCMODE) | O_WRONLY, mode);
-    _npassert(g_fds.p[fd].extra != -1);
+    npassert(g_fds.p[fd].extra != -1);
   } else {
     return -1;
   }
diff --git a/libc/calls/openat.c b/libc/calls/openat.c
index f9204d4bb..803eb409a 100644
--- a/libc/calls/openat.c
+++ b/libc/calls/openat.c
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@
  *
  * If your main() source file has this statement:
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+ *     __static_yoink("zipos");
  *
  * Then you can read zip assets by adding a `"/zip/..."` prefix to `file`, e.g.
  *
diff --git a/libc/calls/openpty.c b/libc/calls/openpty.c
index 18981d827..8382ff2e3 100644
--- a/libc/calls/openpty.c
+++ b/libc/calls/openpty.c
@@ -66,8 +66,8 @@ static int openpty_impl(int *mfd, int *sfd, char *name,
   *mfd = m;
   *sfd = s;
   if (name) strcpy(name, t.sname);
-  if (tio) _npassert(!tcsetattr(s, TCSAFLUSH, tio));
-  if (wsz) _npassert(!tcgetwinsize(s, wsz));
+  if (tio) npassert(!tcsetattr(s, TCSAFLUSH, tio));
+  if (wsz) npassert(!tcgetwinsize(s, wsz));
   return 0;
 OnError:
   if (m != -1) sys_close(m);
diff --git a/libc/calls/posix_fadvise.c b/libc/calls/posix_fadvise.c
index 3fb293c53..8582b720e 100644
--- a/libc/calls/posix_fadvise.c
+++ b/libc/calls/posix_fadvise.c
@@ -51,10 +51,10 @@ errno_t posix_fadvise(int fd, int64_t offset, int64_t len, int advice) {
     rc = sys_fadvise(fd, offset, len, advice);
   } else if (IsFreebsd()) {
     rc = sys_fadvise(fd, offset, len, advice);
-    _unassert(rc >= 0);
+    unassert(rc >= 0);
   } else if (IsNetbsd()) {
     rc = sys_fadvise_netbsd(fd, offset, offset, len, advice);
-    _unassert(rc >= 0);
+    unassert(rc >= 0);
   } else if (IsWindows()) {
     rc = sys_fadvise_nt(fd, offset, len, advice);
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/calls/pread.c b/libc/calls/pread.c
index b114b272e..2c36ca99d 100644
--- a/libc/calls/pread.c
+++ b/libc/calls/pread.c
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ ssize_t pread(int fd, void *buf, size_t size, int64_t offset) {
   } else {
     rc = ebadf();
   }
-  _npassert(rc == -1 || (size_t)rc <= size);
+  npassert(rc == -1 || (size_t)rc <= size);
 
   END_CANCELLATION_POINT;
   DATATRACE("pread(%d, [%#.*hhs%s], %'zu, %'zd) → %'zd% m", fd,
diff --git a/libc/calls/pwrite.c b/libc/calls/pwrite.c
index 022a4b29d..fd5c23981 100644
--- a/libc/calls/pwrite.c
+++ b/libc/calls/pwrite.c
@@ -69,9 +69,9 @@ ssize_t pwrite(int fd, const void *buf, size_t size, int64_t offset) {
   if (rc != -1) {
     wrote = (size_t)rc;
     if (!wrote) {
-      _npassert(size == 0);
+      npassert(size == 0);
     } else {
-      _npassert(wrote <= size);
+      npassert(wrote <= size);
     }
   }
 
diff --git a/libc/calls/raise.c b/libc/calls/raise.c
index 4bfe30cf4..d0777c3f2 100644
--- a/libc/calls/raise.c
+++ b/libc/calls/raise.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ static textwindows inline bool HasWorkingConsole(void) {
   return !!(__ntconsolemode[0] | __ntconsolemode[1] | __ntconsolemode[2]);
 }
 
-static noubsan void RaiseSigFpe(void) {
+static dontubsan void RaiseSigFpe(void) {
   volatile int x = 0;
   x = 1 / x;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/read-nt.c b/libc/calls/read-nt.c
index 23c411b12..4f965661a 100644
--- a/libc/calls/read-nt.c
+++ b/libc/calls/read-nt.c
@@ -81,7 +81,7 @@ static textwindows ssize_t sys_read_nt_impl(struct Fd *fd, void *data,
     if (!ok && GetLastError() == kNtErrorIoPending) ok = true;
     if (ok) ok = GetOverlappedResult(fd->handle, &overlap, &got, true);
     // restore file pointer which windows clobbers, even on error
-    _unassert(SetFilePointerEx(fd->handle, position, 0, SEEK_SET));
+    unassert(SetFilePointerEx(fd->handle, position, 0, SEEK_SET));
   }
   if (ok) {
     return got;
diff --git a/libc/calls/realpath.c b/libc/calls/realpath.c
index 37d046dc1..e038e7211 100644
--- a/libc/calls/realpath.c
+++ b/libc/calls/realpath.c
@@ -181,7 +181,7 @@ skip_readlink:
 			continue;
 		}
 		k = rc;
-		_npassert(k <= p);
+		npassert(k <= p);
 		if (k==p)
 			goto toolong;
 		if (!k) {
diff --git a/libc/calls/sigaction.c b/libc/calls/sigaction.c
index 84ff0e99f..fcd9d4285 100644
--- a/libc/calls/sigaction.c
+++ b/libc/calls/sigaction.c
@@ -49,13 +49,13 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/errfuns.h"
 
 #ifdef SYSDEBUG
-STATIC_YOINK("strsignal");  // for kprintf()
+__static_yoink("strsignal");  // for kprintf()
 #endif
 
 #if SupportsWindows()
-STATIC_YOINK("_init_onntconsoleevent");
-STATIC_YOINK("_check_sigwinch");
-STATIC_YOINK("_init_wincrash");
+__static_yoink("_init_onntconsoleevent");
+__static_yoink("_check_sigwinch");
+__static_yoink("_init_wincrash");
 #endif
 
 #define SA_RESTORER 0x04000000
diff --git a/libc/calls/sigsetmask.c b/libc/calls/sigsetmask.c
index a6618ae0c..c43e11180 100644
--- a/libc/calls/sigsetmask.c
+++ b/libc/calls/sigsetmask.c
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ sigset_t _sigsetmask(sigset_t neu) {
   if (IsMetal() || IsWindows()) {
     __sig_mask(SIG_SETMASK, &neu, &res);
   } else {
-    _npassert(!sys_sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, &neu, &res));
+    npassert(!sys_sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, &neu, &res));
   }
   return res;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/sleep.c b/libc/calls/sleep.c
index d2c044b07..681009db9 100644
--- a/libc/calls/sleep.c
+++ b/libc/calls/sleep.c
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ unsigned sleep(unsigned seconds) {
   struct timespec tv = {seconds};
   if (!(rc = clock_nanosleep(CLOCK_REALTIME, 0, &tv, &tv))) return 0;
   if (rc == ECANCELED) return -1u;
-  _npassert(rc == EINTR);
+  npassert(rc == EINTR);
   unslept = tv.tv_sec;
   if (tv.tv_nsec && unslept < UINT_MAX) {
     ++unslept;
diff --git a/libc/calls/timespec_mono.c b/libc/calls/timespec_mono.c
index a37e7b2ae..88ee549f2 100644
--- a/libc/calls/timespec_mono.c
+++ b/libc/calls/timespec_mono.c
@@ -29,6 +29,6 @@
  */
 struct timespec timespec_mono(void) {
   struct timespec ts;
-  _npassert(!clock_gettime(CLOCK_MONOTONIC, &ts));
+  npassert(!clock_gettime(CLOCK_MONOTONIC, &ts));
   return ts;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/timespec_real.c b/libc/calls/timespec_real.c
index dbebd20c5..37034dcc9 100644
--- a/libc/calls/timespec_real.c
+++ b/libc/calls/timespec_real.c
@@ -31,6 +31,6 @@
  */
 struct timespec timespec_real(void) {
   struct timespec ts;
-  _npassert(!clock_gettime(CLOCK_REALTIME, &ts));
+  npassert(!clock_gettime(CLOCK_REALTIME, &ts));
   return ts;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/timespec_sleep.c b/libc/calls/timespec_sleep.c
index bbf65f79c..710b87e67 100644
--- a/libc/calls/timespec_sleep.c
+++ b/libc/calls/timespec_sleep.c
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ struct timespec timespec_sleep(struct timespec delay) {
   BLOCK_CANCELLATIONS;
   bzero(&remain, sizeof(remain));
   if ((rc = clock_nanosleep(CLOCK_REALTIME, 0, &delay, &remain))) {
-    _npassert(rc == EINTR);
+    npassert(rc == EINTR);
   }
   ALLOW_CANCELLATIONS;
   return remain;
diff --git a/libc/calls/timespec_sleep_until.c b/libc/calls/timespec_sleep_until.c
index 277b2d45d..3dc9d5bee 100644
--- a/libc/calls/timespec_sleep_until.c
+++ b/libc/calls/timespec_sleep_until.c
@@ -33,6 +33,6 @@
 errno_t timespec_sleep_until(struct timespec abs_deadline) {
   errno_t rc;
   rc = clock_nanosleep(CLOCK_REALTIME, TIMER_ABSTIME, &abs_deadline, 0);
-  _npassert(!rc || rc == EINTR || rc == ECANCELED);
+  npassert(!rc || rc == EINTR || rc == ECANCELED);
   return rc;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/timeval_real.c b/libc/calls/timeval_real.c
index cfffbcdd0..e0af46e76 100644
--- a/libc/calls/timeval_real.c
+++ b/libc/calls/timeval_real.c
@@ -26,6 +26,6 @@
  */
 struct timeval timeval_real(void) {
   struct timeval tv;
-  _npassert(!gettimeofday(&tv, 0));
+  npassert(!gettimeofday(&tv, 0));
   return tv;
 }
diff --git a/libc/calls/uname.c b/libc/calls/uname.c
index fc105eaa8..253abff12 100644
--- a/libc/calls/uname.c
+++ b/libc/calls/uname.c
@@ -76,15 +76,15 @@ static textwindows void GetNtName(char *name, int kind) {
   }
 }
 
-static inline textwindows noasan int GetNtMajorVersion(void) {
+static inline textwindows dontasan int GetNtMajorVersion(void) {
   return NtGetPeb()->OSMajorVersion;
 }
 
-static inline textwindows noasan int GetNtMinorVersion(void) {
+static inline textwindows dontasan int GetNtMinorVersion(void) {
   return NtGetPeb()->OSMinorVersion;
 }
 
-static inline textwindows noasan int GetNtBuildNumber(void) {
+static inline textwindows dontasan int GetNtBuildNumber(void) {
   return NtGetPeb()->OSBuildNumber;
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/calls/unveil.c b/libc/calls/unveil.c
index b7802ce8d..0891cc0f4 100644
--- a/libc/calls/unveil.c
+++ b/libc/calls/unveil.c
@@ -473,10 +473,10 @@ int unveil(const char *path, const char *permissions) {
     if (permissions) return einval();
     if (IsOpenbsd()) return 0;
     if (landlock_abi_version != -1) {
-      _unassert(landlock_abi_version >= 1);
+      unassert(landlock_abi_version >= 1);
       return landlock_abi_version;
     } else {
-      _unassert(landlock_abi_errno);
+      unassert(landlock_abi_errno);
       errno = landlock_abi_errno;
       return -1;
     }
diff --git a/libc/calls/write-nt.c b/libc/calls/write-nt.c
index c2c4e5e89..7986db3f3 100644
--- a/libc/calls/write-nt.c
+++ b/libc/calls/write-nt.c
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ static textwindows ssize_t sys_write_nt_impl(int fd, void *data, size_t size,
     if (!ok && GetLastError() == kNtErrorIoPending) ok = true;
     if (ok) ok = GetOverlappedResult(handle, &overlap, &sent, true);
     // restore file pointer which windows clobbers, even on error
-    _unassert(SetFilePointerEx(handle, position, 0, SEEK_SET));
+    unassert(SetFilePointerEx(handle, position, 0, SEEK_SET));
   }
   if (ok) {
     return sent;
diff --git a/libc/fmt/bing.c b/libc/fmt/bing.c
index 9dcc6215c..80e88699d 100644
--- a/libc/fmt/bing.c
+++ b/libc/fmt/bing.c
@@ -55,6 +55,6 @@
  * @see unbing() for inverse
  */
 int bing(int b, int intent) {
-  _unassert(0 <= b && b < 256);
+  unassert(0 <= b && b < 256);
   return kCp437[b & 0xff];
 }
diff --git a/libc/fmt/itoa64fixed16.greg.c b/libc/fmt/itoa64fixed16.greg.c
index ace624ba7..aeb761d1b 100644
--- a/libc/fmt/itoa64fixed16.greg.c
+++ b/libc/fmt/itoa64fixed16.greg.c
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 
 size_t uint64toarray_fixed16(uint64_t x, char b[hasatleast 17], uint8_t k) {
   char *p;
-  _unassert(k <= 64 && !(k & 3));
+  unassert(k <= 64 && !(k & 3));
   for (p = b; k > 0;) *p++ = "0123456789abcdef"[(x >> (k -= 4)) & 15];
   *p = '\0';
   return p - b;
diff --git a/libc/integral/c.inc b/libc/integral/c.inc
index 5a67eee7f..68cb18191 100644
--- a/libc/integral/c.inc
+++ b/libc/integral/c.inc
@@ -194,19 +194,22 @@ typedef struct {
 #endif
 
 #ifndef privileged
-#if !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__) && \
-    (__has_attribute(__visibility__) || defined(__GNUC__))
-#define privileged _Section(".privileged")
-#else
-#define privileged _Section(".privileged")
-#endif
+#define privileged \
+  _Section(".privileged") dontinline dontinstrument dontubsan dontasan
 #endif
 
 #ifndef dontinstrument
 #if !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__) &&                    \
     (__has_attribute(__no_instrument_function__) || \
      (__GNUC__ + 0) * 100 + (__GNUC_MINOR__ + 0) >= 204)
+#if ((__GNUC__ + 0) >= 7 && !defined(__chibicc__)) || \
+    __has_attribute(__patchable_function_entry__)
+#define dontinstrument                       \
+  __attribute__((__no_instrument_function__, \
+                 __patchable_function_entry__(0, 0)))
+#else
 #define dontinstrument __attribute__((__no_instrument_function__))
+#endif
 #else
 #define dontinstrument
 #endif
@@ -569,17 +572,17 @@ typedef struct {
 #if ((__GNUC__ + 0) * 100 + (__GNUC_MINOR__ + 0) >= 408 || \
      __has_attribute(__no_sanitize_address__)) &&          \
     !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__)
-#define noasan __attribute__((__no_sanitize_address__))
+#define dontasan __attribute__((__no_sanitize_address__))
 #else
-#define noasan
+#define dontasan
 #endif
 
 #if ((__GNUC__ + 0) * 100 + (__GNUC_MINOR__ + 0) >= 408 || \
      __has_attribute(__no_sanitize_undefined__)) &&        \
     !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__)
-#define noubsan __attribute__((__no_sanitize_undefined__))
+#define dontubsan __attribute__((__no_sanitize_undefined__))
 #else
-#define noubsan
+#define dontubsan
 #endif
 
 #ifdef __STRICT_ANSI__
@@ -645,11 +648,7 @@ void abort(void) wontreturn;
 #endif
 
 #ifndef _Section
-#if !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__) && !defined(__APPLE__)
 #define _Section(s) __attribute__((__section__(s)))
-#else
-#define _Section(s)
-#endif
 #endif
 
 #if defined(__x86_64__) && !defined(__llvm__)
@@ -772,69 +771,69 @@ void abort(void) wontreturn;
 #endif
 
 #ifndef __STRICT_ANSI__
-#define VEIL(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION)                             \
+#define __veil(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION)                           \
   ({                                                             \
     autotype(EXPRESSION) VeiledValue = (EXPRESSION);             \
     asm("" : "=" CONSTRAINT ""(VeiledValue) : "0"(VeiledValue)); \
     VeiledValue;                                                 \
   })
 #else
-#define VEIL(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION) (EXPRESSION)
+#define __veil(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION) (EXPRESSION)
 #endif
 
 #ifndef __STRICT_ANSI__
-#define CONCEAL(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION)                                   \
+#define __conceal(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION)                                 \
   ({                                                                      \
     autotype(EXPRESSION) VeiledValue = (EXPRESSION);                      \
     asm volatile("" : "=" CONSTRAINT ""(VeiledValue) : "0"(VeiledValue)); \
     VeiledValue;                                                          \
   })
 #else
-#define CONCEAL(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION) (EXPRESSION)
+#define __conceal(CONSTRAINT, EXPRESSION) (EXPRESSION)
 #endif
 
 #ifndef __STRICT_ANSI__
-#define EXPROPRIATE(EXPRESSION)                    \
+#define __expropriate(EXPRESSION)                  \
   ({                                               \
     asm volatile("" ::"g"(EXPRESSION) : "memory"); \
     0;                                             \
   })
 #else
-#define EXPROPRIATE(EXPRESSION) (EXPRESSION)
+#define __expropriate(EXPRESSION) (EXPRESSION)
 #endif
 
 #if !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__) && !defined(__APPLE__) && defined(__x86_64__)
-#define YOINK(SYMBOL) \
+#define __yoink(SYMBOL) \
   asm(".section .yoink\n\tnopl\t%0\n\t.previous" : : "m"(SYMBOL))
 #elif defined(__aarch64__)
-#define YOINK(SYMBOL) \
+#define __yoink(SYMBOL) \
   asm(".section .yoink\n\tb\t%0\n\t.previous" : : "m"(SYMBOL))
 #else
-#define YOINK(SYMBOL) (void)0
+#define __yoink(SYMBOL) (void)0
 #endif
 
 #if !defined(__STRICT_ANSI__) && !defined(__APPLE__) && defined(__x86_64__)
-#define STATIC_YOINK(SYMBOLSTR) \
+#define __static_yoink(SYMBOLSTR) \
   asm(".section .yoink\n\tnopl\t\"" SYMBOLSTR "\"\n\t.previous")
 #elif defined(__aarch64__)
-#define STATIC_YOINK(SYMBOLSTR) \
+#define __static_yoink(SYMBOLSTR) \
   asm(".section .yoink\n\tb\t\"" SYMBOLSTR "\"\n\t.previous")
 #else
-#define STATIC_YOINK(SYMBOLSTR)
+#define __static_yoink(SYMBOLSTR)
 #endif
 
 #if !defined(IM_FEELING_NAUGHTY)
-#define STATIC_YOINK_SOURCE(PATH) STATIC_YOINK(PATH)
+#define __static_yoink_source(PATH) __static_yoink(PATH)
 #else
-#define STATIC_YOINK_SOURCE(PATH)
+#define __static_yoink_source(PATH)
 #endif
 
 #define __strong_reference(sym, aliassym) \
-  extern typeof(sym) aliassym __attribute__((__alias__(#sym)))
-#define __weak_reference(sym, alias)   \
-  asm(".weak\t" #alias "\n\t"          \
-      ".equ\t" #alias ", " #sym "\n\t" \
-      ".type\t" #alias ",@notype")
+  extern __typeof(sym) aliassym __attribute__((__alias__(#sym)))
+#define __weak_reference(sym, alias)       \
+  __asm__(".weak\t" #alias "\n\t"          \
+          ".equ\t" #alias ", " #sym "\n\t" \
+          ".type\t" #alias ",@notype")
 
 #define __funline \
   extern __inline \
diff --git a/libc/integral/normalize.inc b/libc/integral/normalize.inc
index 2bbad5297..d75c0a053 100644
--- a/libc/integral/normalize.inc
+++ b/libc/integral/normalize.inc
@@ -82,8 +82,7 @@
 #else
 #define APE_STACKSIZE 4194304 /* default 4mb stack */
 #endif
-#define APE_PAGESIZE  0x10000 /* i386+ */
-#define APE_GUARDSIZE 0x4000  /* b/c apple m1 */
+#define APE_PAGESIZE 0x10000 /* i386+ */
 
 #define BUFSIZ     0x1000 /* best stdio default */
 #define CHAR_BIT   8      /* b/c von neumann */
diff --git a/libc/intrin/_getauxval.c b/libc/intrin/_getauxval.c
index 9934c262f..c2f2753b1 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/_getauxval.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/_getauxval.c
@@ -20,19 +20,15 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 
 /**
- * Returns auxiliary value, or zero if kernel didn't provide it.
- *
- * This function is typically regarded as a libc implementation detail;
- * thus, the source code is the documentation.
+ * Returns auxiliary value better.
  *
  * @param at is `AT_...` search key
  * @return true if value was found
  * @see libc/sysv/consts.sh
  * @see System Five Application Binary Interface § 3.4.3
- * @error ENOENT when value not found
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-struct AuxiliaryValue _getauxval(unsigned long at) {
+dontasan struct AuxiliaryValue _getauxval(unsigned long at) {
   unsigned long *ap;
   for (ap = __auxv; ap[0]; ap += 2) {
     if (at == ap[0]) {
diff --git a/libc/intrin/arememoryintervalsok.c b/libc/intrin/arememoryintervalsok.c
index 30ad421a9..e5e8f4599 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/arememoryintervalsok.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/arememoryintervalsok.c
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
 #include "libc/intrin/strace.internal.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/memtrack.internal.h"
 
-noasan bool AreMemoryIntervalsOk(const struct MemoryIntervals *mm) {
+dontasan bool AreMemoryIntervalsOk(const struct MemoryIntervals *mm) {
   /* asan runtime depends on this function */
   int i;
   size_t wantsize;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/asan.c b/libc/intrin/asan.c
index afcfefe0f..110fdf141 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/asan.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/asan.c
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@
 #include "third_party/dlmalloc/dlmalloc.h"
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_init_asan");
+__static_yoink("_init_asan");
 
 #if IsModeDbg()
 // MODE=dbg
@@ -342,7 +342,7 @@ static char *__asan_hexcpy(char *p, uint64_t x, uint8_t k) {
 
 static void __asan_exit(void) {
   kprintf("your asan runtime needs\n"
-          "\tSTATIC_YOINK(\"__die\");\n"
+          "\t__static_yoink(\"__die\");\n"
           "in order to show you backtraces\n");
   _Exitr(99);
 }
@@ -457,7 +457,7 @@ static struct AsanFault __asan_checka(const signed char *s, long ndiv8) {
  * This is normally abstracted by the compiler. In some cases, it may be
  * desirable to perform an ASAN memory safety check explicitly, e.g. for
  * system call wrappers that need to vet memory passed to the kernel, or
- * string library routines that use the `noasan` keyword due to compiler
+ * string library routines that use the `dontasan` keyword due to compiler
  * generated ASAN being too costly. This function is fast especially for
  * large memory ranges since this takes a few picoseconds for each byte.
  *
@@ -766,11 +766,11 @@ static void __asan_report_memory_origin_image(intptr_t a, int z) {
       kprintf("\tunknown please supply .com.dbg symbols or set COMDBG\n");
     }
   } else {
-    kprintf("\tunknown please STATIC_YOINK(\"GetSymbolTable\");\n");
+    kprintf("\tunknown please __static_yoink(\"GetSymbolTable\");\n");
   }
 }
 
-static noasan void __asan_onmemory(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
+static dontasan void __asan_onmemory(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
   const unsigned char *p = x;
   struct ReportOriginHeap *t = a;
   if ((p <= t->a && t->a < p + n) ||
@@ -790,7 +790,7 @@ static void __asan_report_memory_origin_heap(const unsigned char *a, int z) {
     t.z = z;
     _weaken(malloc_inspect_all)(__asan_onmemory, &t);
   } else {
-    kprintf("\tunknown please STATIC_YOINK(\"malloc_inspect_all\");\n");
+    kprintf("\tunknown please __static_yoink(\"malloc_inspect_all\");\n");
   }
 }
 
@@ -1117,7 +1117,7 @@ int __asan_print_trace(void *p) {
     kprintf("\n%*lx %s", 12, e->bt.p[i],
             _weaken(GetSymbolByAddr)
                 ? _weaken(GetSymbolByAddr)(e->bt.p[i])
-                : "please STATIC_YOINK(\"GetSymbolByAddr\")");
+                : "please __static_yoink(\"GetSymbolByAddr\")");
   }
   return 0;
 }
@@ -1482,7 +1482,8 @@ static textstartup void __asan_shadow_mapping(struct MemoryIntervals *m,
 static textstartup void __asan_shadow_existing_mappings(void) {
   __asan_shadow_mapping(&_mmi, 0);
   __asan_map_shadow(GetStackAddr(), GetStackSize());
-  __asan_poison((void *)GetStackAddr(), APE_GUARDSIZE, kAsanStackOverflow);
+  __asan_poison((void *)GetStackAddr(), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ),
+                kAsanStackOverflow);
 }
 
 forceinline ssize_t __write_str(const char *s) {
@@ -1509,7 +1510,7 @@ void __asan_init(int argc, char **argv, char **envp, intptr_t *auxv) {
   __asan_shadow_existing_mappings();
   __asan_map_shadow((uintptr_t)__executable_start, _end - __executable_start);
   __asan_map_shadow(0, 4096);
-  __asan_poison(0, APE_GUARDSIZE, kAsanNullPage);
+  __asan_poison(0, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), kAsanNullPage);
   if (!IsWindows()) {
     sys_mprotect((void *)0x7fff8000, 0x10000, PROT_READ);
   }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/bt.c b/libc/intrin/bt.c
index a1f0c22eb..6d61f0177 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/bt.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/bt.c
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ void _bt(const char *fmt, ...) {
     errno = e;
   } else {
     kprintf("_bt() can't show backtrace because you need:\n"
-            "\tSTATIC_YOINK(\"ShowBacktrace\");\n"
+            "\t__static_yoink(\"ShowBacktrace\");\n"
             "to be linked.\n");
     if (_weaken(PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols) && _weaken(GetSymbolTable)) {
       e = errno;
@@ -58,8 +58,8 @@ void _bt(const char *fmt, ...) {
       errno = e;
     } else {
       kprintf("_bt() can't show backtrace because you need:\n"
-              "\tSTATIC_YOINK(\"PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols\");\n"
-              "\tSTATIC_YOINK(\"GetSymbolTable\");\n"
+              "\t__static_yoink(\"PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols\");\n"
+              "\t__static_yoink(\"GetSymbolTable\");\n"
               "to be linked.\n");
     }
   }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/cxaatexit.c b/libc/intrin/cxaatexit.c
index 589264d08..31428f057 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/cxaatexit.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/cxaatexit.c
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/errfuns.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("__cxa_finalize");
+__static_yoink("__cxa_finalize");
 
 /**
  * Adds global destructor.
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ STATIC_YOINK("__cxa_finalize");
  * @return 0 on success or nonzero w/ errno
  * @note folks have forked libc in past just to unbloat atexit()
  */
-noasan int __cxa_atexit(void *fp, void *arg, void *pred) {
+dontasan int __cxa_atexit(void *fp, void *arg, void *pred) {
   /* asan runtime depends on this function */
   unsigned i;
   struct CxaAtexitBlock *b, *b2;
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@ noasan int __cxa_atexit(void *fp, void *arg, void *pred) {
     }
   }
   i = _bsr(~b->mask);
-  _unassert(i < ARRAYLEN(b->p));
+  unassert(i < ARRAYLEN(b->p));
   b->mask |= 1u << i;
   b->p[i].fp = fp;
   b->p[i].arg = arg;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/cxafinalize.c b/libc/intrin/cxafinalize.c
index 8e42bf7b5..064399c9d 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/cxafinalize.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/cxafinalize.c
@@ -60,7 +60,7 @@ StartOverLocked:
       if (!pred) {
         b2 = b->next;
         if (b2) {
-          _unassert(b != &__cxa_blocks.root);
+          unassert(b != &__cxa_blocks.root);
           if (_weaken(free)) {
             _weaken(free)(b);
           }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/directmap-metal.c b/libc/intrin/directmap-metal.c
index d6b82395c..463ac7637 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/directmap-metal.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/directmap-metal.c
@@ -32,15 +32,15 @@
 
 static uint64_t sys_mmap_metal_break;
 
-noasan static struct DirectMap bad_mmap(void) {
+dontasan static struct DirectMap bad_mmap(void) {
   struct DirectMap res;
   res.addr = (void *)-1;
   res.maphandle = -1;
   return res;
 }
 
-noasan struct DirectMap sys_mmap_metal(void *vaddr, size_t size, int prot,
-                                       int flags, int fd, int64_t off) {
+dontasan struct DirectMap sys_mmap_metal(void *vaddr, size_t size, int prot,
+                                         int flags, int fd, int64_t off) {
   /* asan runtime depends on this function */
   size_t i;
   struct mman *mm;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/directmap-nt.c b/libc/intrin/directmap-nt.c
index c1ed049e8..1ae1d17bb 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/directmap-nt.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/directmap-nt.c
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@ textwindows struct DirectMap sys_mmap_nt(void *addr, size_t size, int prot,
       }
     }
   } else {
-    _unassert(flags & MAP_ANONYMOUS);
+    unassert(flags & MAP_ANONYMOUS);
     fl = (struct ProtectNt){kNtPageExecuteReadwrite,
                             kNtFileMapWrite | kNtFileMapExecute};
   }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/extend.c b/libc/intrin/extend.c
index 72435e2cf..c13a6e650 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/extend.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/extend.c
@@ -43,11 +43,11 @@ static void *_mapframe(void *p, int f) {
     if (!rc) {
       return p;
     } else {
-      _unassert(errno == ENOMEM);
+      unassert(errno == ENOMEM);
       return 0;
     }
   } else {
-    _unassert(errno == ENOMEM);
+    unassert(errno == ENOMEM);
     return 0;
   }
 }
@@ -71,14 +71,14 @@ static void *_mapframe(void *p, int f) {
  * @return new value for `e` or null w/ errno
  * @raise ENOMEM if we require more vespene gas
  */
-noasan void *_extend(void *p, size_t n, void *e, int f, intptr_t h) {
+dontasan void *_extend(void *p, size_t n, void *e, int f, intptr_t h) {
   char *q;
-  _unassert(!((uintptr_t)SHADOW(p) & (G - 1)));
-  _unassert((uintptr_t)p + (G << kAsanScale) <= h);
+  unassert(!((uintptr_t)SHADOW(p) & (G - 1)));
+  unassert((uintptr_t)p + (G << kAsanScale) <= h);
   // TODO(jart): Make this spin less in non-ASAN mode.
   for (q = e; q < ((char *)p + n); q += 8) {
     if (!((uintptr_t)q & (G - 1))) {
-      _unassert(q + G <= (char *)h);
+      unassert(q + G <= (char *)h);
       if (!_mapframe(q, f)) return 0;
       if (IsAsan()) {
         if (!((uintptr_t)SHADOW(q) & (G - 1))) {
diff --git a/libc/intrin/findmemoryinterval.c b/libc/intrin/findmemoryinterval.c
index 8891e5814..30d28690d 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/findmemoryinterval.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/findmemoryinterval.c
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
 #include "libc/assert.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/memtrack.internal.h"
 
-noasan unsigned FindMemoryInterval(const struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x) {
+dontasan unsigned FindMemoryInterval(const struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x) {
   unsigned l, m, r;
   l = 0;
   r = mm->i;
@@ -31,6 +31,6 @@ noasan unsigned FindMemoryInterval(const struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x) {
       r = m;
     }
   }
-  _unassert(l == mm->i || x <= mm->p[l].y);
+  unassert(l == mm->i || x <= mm->p[l].y);
   return l;
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/g_fds.c b/libc/intrin/g_fds.c
index 7a9e4963e..db5f9ce8c 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/g_fds.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/g_fds.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-STATIC_YOINK("_init_g_fds");
+__static_yoink("_init_g_fds");
 #endif
 
 struct Fds g_fds;
@@ -49,7 +49,7 @@ static textwindows dontinline void SetupWinStd(struct Fds *fds, int i, int x) {
 textstartup void __init_fds(void) {
   struct Fds *fds;
   __fds_lock_obj._type = PTHREAD_MUTEX_RECURSIVE;
-  fds = VEIL("r", &g_fds);
+  fds = __veil("r", &g_fds);
   fds->n = 4;
   atomic_store_explicit(&fds->f, 3, memory_order_relaxed);
   if (_weaken(_extend)) {
@@ -73,9 +73,9 @@ textstartup void __init_fds(void) {
       fds->p[1].kind = pushpop(kFdSerial);
       fds->p[2].kind = pushpop(kFdSerial);
     }
-    fds->p[0].handle = VEIL("r", 0x3F8ull);
-    fds->p[1].handle = VEIL("r", 0x3F8ull);
-    fds->p[2].handle = VEIL("r", 0x3F8ull);
+    fds->p[0].handle = __veil("r", 0x3F8ull);
+    fds->p[1].handle = __veil("r", 0x3F8ull);
+    fds->p[2].handle = __veil("r", 0x3F8ull);
   } else if (IsWindows()) {
     SetupWinStd(fds, 0, kNtStdInputHandle);
     SetupWinStd(fds, 1, kNtStdOutputHandle);
diff --git a/libc/intrin/getauxval.c b/libc/intrin/getauxval.c
index f1fb2e2d4..986014305 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/getauxval.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/getauxval.c
@@ -16,28 +16,33 @@
 │ TORTIOUS ACTION, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR             │
 │ PERFORMANCE OF THIS SOFTWARE.                                                │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
+#include "libc/errno.h"
+#include "libc/intrin/_getauxval.internal.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
-#include "libc/sysv/errfuns.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 
 /**
- * Returns auxiliary value, or zero if kernel didn't provide it.
+ * Returns auxiliary value.
  *
- * This function is typically regarded as a libc implementation detail;
- * thus, the source code is the documentation.
- *
- * @return auxiliary value or 0 if `at` not found
+ * @return auxiliary value or 0 if `key` not found
  * @see libc/sysv/consts.sh
  * @see System Five Application Binary Interface § 3.4.3
  * @error ENOENT when value not found
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-unsigned long getauxval(unsigned long at) {
-  unsigned long res, *ap;
-  for (ap = __auxv; ap[0]; ap += 2) {
-    if (at == ap[0]) {
-      return ap[1];
+unsigned long getauxval(unsigned long key) {
+  struct AuxiliaryValue x;
+  x = _getauxval(key);
+  if (key == AT_PAGESZ) {
+    if (!x.isfound) {
+      x.value = 16384;
     }
+    x.isfound = true;
+  }
+  if (x.isfound) {
+    return x.value;
+  } else {
+    errno = ENOENT;
+    return 0;
   }
-  enoent();
-  return 0;
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/isdebuggerpresent.c b/libc/intrin/isdebuggerpresent.c
index cf43ca0ef..321ed74a5 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/isdebuggerpresent.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/isdebuggerpresent.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 #define kBufSize 1024
 #define kPid     "TracerPid:\t"
 
-static textwindows noasan bool IsBeingDebugged(void) {
+static textwindows dontasan bool IsBeingDebugged(void) {
   return !!NtGetPeb()->BeingDebugged;
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/intrin/iswsl.c b/libc/intrin/iswsl.c
index 04bfca4e2..75a3ef391 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/iswsl.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/iswsl.c
@@ -38,9 +38,9 @@ bool IsWsl1(void) {
   if (res) return res & 1;
   if (!IsLinux()) return res = 2, false;
   int e = errno;
-  _unassert(__sys_mmap((void *)1, 4096, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
-                       MAP_FIXED | MAP_PRIVATE | ANONYMOUS | GROWSDOWN, -1, 0,
-                       0) == MAP_FAILED);
+  unassert(__sys_mmap((void *)1, 4096, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
+                      MAP_FIXED | MAP_PRIVATE | ANONYMOUS | GROWSDOWN, -1, 0,
+                      0) == MAP_FAILED);
   bool tmp = errno == ENOTSUP;
   errno = e;
   res = 2 | tmp;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/kmalloc.c b/libc/intrin/kmalloc.c
index aad715cd7..342e047f0 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/kmalloc.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/kmalloc.c
@@ -82,7 +82,7 @@ void *kmalloc(size_t size) {
   }
   __kmalloc_unlock();
   if (p) {
-    _unassert(!((intptr_t)(p + i) & (KMALLOC_ALIGN - 1)));
+    unassert(!((intptr_t)(p + i) & (KMALLOC_ALIGN - 1)));
     if (IsAsan()) __asan_poison(p + i + size, n - size, kAsanHeapOverrun);
     return p + i;
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/intrin/kprintf.greg.c b/libc/intrin/kprintf.greg.c
index b6f9d8a11..b1436aa23 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/kprintf.greg.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/kprintf.greg.c
@@ -57,6 +57,7 @@
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/str/tab.internal.h"
 #include "libc/str/utf16.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/nr.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/prot.h"
 #include "libc/thread/tls.h"
@@ -187,7 +188,7 @@ privileged bool kisdangerous(const void *p) {
     if (IsStackFrame(frame)) return false;
     if (kismapped(frame)) return false;
   }
-  if (GetStackAddr() + APE_GUARDSIZE <= (uintptr_t)p &&
+  if (GetStackAddr() + 16384 <= (uintptr_t)p &&
       (uintptr_t)p < GetStackAddr() + GetStackSize()) {
     return false;
   }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/leaky.internal.h b/libc/intrin/leaky.internal.h
index 225671a9a..da18dbc2d 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/leaky.internal.h
+++ b/libc/intrin/leaky.internal.h
@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@
 COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
 
 #define IGNORE_LEAKS(FUNC)                                        \
-  STATIC_YOINK("_leaky_start");                                   \
+  __static_yoink("_leaky_start");                                   \
   void *_leaky_##FUNC[] _Section(".piro.relo.sort.leaky.2." #FUNC \
                                  ",\"aw\",@init_array #") = {FUNC}
 
diff --git a/libc/intrin/memchr.c b/libc/intrin/memchr.c
index 807111263..16c0897fa 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/memchr.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/memchr.c
@@ -36,9 +36,9 @@ static inline const unsigned char *memchr_pure(const unsigned char *s,
 }
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-noasan static inline const unsigned char *memchr_sse(const unsigned char *s,
-                                                     unsigned char c,
-                                                     size_t n) {
+dontasan static inline const unsigned char *memchr_sse(const unsigned char *s,
+                                                       unsigned char c,
+                                                       size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   unsigned k;
   unsigned m;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/memrchr.c b/libc/intrin/memrchr.c
index ea09e8c08..8e7f95714 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/memrchr.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/memrchr.c
@@ -36,9 +36,9 @@ static inline const unsigned char *memrchr_pure(const unsigned char *s,
 }
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-noasan static inline const unsigned char *memrchr_sse(const unsigned char *s,
-                                                      unsigned char c,
-                                                      size_t n) {
+dontasan static inline const unsigned char *memrchr_sse(const unsigned char *s,
+                                                        unsigned char c,
+                                                        size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   unsigned k, m;
   xmm_t v, t = {c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c};
diff --git a/libc/intrin/memtrack.greg.c b/libc/intrin/memtrack.greg.c
index 94ff2ad11..8713d0793 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/memtrack.greg.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/memtrack.greg.c
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@
 static void *MoveMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryInterval *d,
                                  const struct MemoryInterval *s, int n) {
   int i;
-  _unassert(n >= 0);
+  unassert(n >= 0);
   if (d > s) {
     for (i = n; i--;) {
       d[i] = s[i];
@@ -64,8 +64,8 @@ static void *MoveMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryInterval *d,
 }
 
 static void RemoveMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int i, int n) {
-  _unassert(i >= 0);
-  _unassert(i + n <= mm->i);
+  unassert(i >= 0);
+  unassert(i + n <= mm->i);
   MoveMemoryIntervals(mm->p + i, mm->p + i + n, mm->i - (i + n));
   mm->i -= n;
 }
@@ -109,9 +109,9 @@ static bool ExtendMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryIntervals *mm) {
 }
 
 int CreateMemoryInterval(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int i) {
-  _unassert(i >= 0);
-  _unassert(i <= mm->i);
-  _unassert(mm->n >= 0);
+  unassert(i >= 0);
+  unassert(i <= mm->i);
+  unassert(mm->n >= 0);
   if (UNLIKELY(mm->i == mm->n) && !ExtendMemoryIntervals(mm)) return enomem();
   MoveMemoryIntervals(mm->p + i + 1, mm->p + i, mm->i++ - i);
   return 0;
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ int ReleaseMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x, int y,
                            void wf(struct MemoryIntervals *, int, int)) {
   unsigned l, r;
   ASSERT_MEMTRACK();
-  _unassert(y >= x);
+  unassert(y >= x);
   if (!mm->i) return 0;
   // binary search for the lefthand side
   l = FindMemoryInterval(mm, x);
@@ -140,8 +140,8 @@ int ReleaseMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x, int y,
   // binary search for the righthand side
   r = FindMemoryInterval(mm, y);
   if (r == mm->i || (r > l && y < mm->p[r].x)) --r;
-  _unassert(r >= l);
-  _unassert(x <= mm->p[r].y);
+  unassert(r >= l);
+  unassert(x <= mm->p[r].y);
 
   // remove the middle of an existing map
   //
@@ -162,11 +162,11 @@ int ReleaseMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x, int y,
   // ----|mmmm|----------------- after
   //
   if (x > mm->p[l].x && x <= mm->p[l].y) {
-    _unassert(y >= mm->p[l].y);
+    unassert(y >= mm->p[l].y);
     if (IsWindows()) return einval();
     mm->p[l].size -= (size_t)(mm->p[l].y - (x - 1)) * FRAMESIZE;
     mm->p[l].y = x - 1;
-    _unassert(mm->p[l].x <= mm->p[l].y);
+    unassert(mm->p[l].x <= mm->p[l].y);
     ++l;
   }
 
@@ -177,11 +177,11 @@ int ReleaseMemoryIntervals(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x, int y,
   // ---------------|mm|-------- after
   //
   if (y >= mm->p[r].x && y < mm->p[r].y) {
-    _unassert(x <= mm->p[r].x);
+    unassert(x <= mm->p[r].x);
     if (IsWindows()) return einval();
     mm->p[r].size -= (size_t)((y + 1) - mm->p[r].x) * FRAMESIZE;
     mm->p[r].x = y + 1;
-    _unassert(mm->p[r].x <= mm->p[r].y);
+    unassert(mm->p[r].x <= mm->p[r].y);
     --r;
   }
 
@@ -199,7 +199,7 @@ int TrackMemoryInterval(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int x, int y, long h,
                         long offset, long size) {
   unsigned i;
   ASSERT_MEMTRACK();
-  _unassert(y >= x);
+  unassert(y >= x);
   i = FindMemoryInterval(mm, x);
 
   // try to extend the righthand side of the lefthand entry
diff --git a/libc/intrin/mman.greg.c b/libc/intrin/mman.greg.c
index 70bcb9cd3..1c8523538 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/mman.greg.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/mman.greg.c
@@ -54,14 +54,14 @@ struct ReclaimedPage {
 /**
  * Allocates new page of physical memory.
  */
-noasan texthead uint64_t __new_page(struct mman *mm) {
+dontasan texthead uint64_t __new_page(struct mman *mm) {
   uint64_t p = mm->frp;
   if (p != NOPAGE) {
     uint64_t q;
     struct ReclaimedPage *rp = (struct ReclaimedPage *)(BANE + p);
-    _unassert(p == (p & PAGE_TA));
+    unassert(p == (p & PAGE_TA));
     q = rp->next;
-    _unassert(q == (q & PAGE_TA) || q == NOPAGE);
+    unassert(q == (q & PAGE_TA) || q == NOPAGE);
     mm->frp = q;
     return p;
   }
@@ -81,8 +81,8 @@ noasan texthead uint64_t __new_page(struct mman *mm) {
  * Returns pointer to page table entry for page at virtual address.
  * Additional page tables are allocated if needed as a side-effect.
  */
-noasan textreal uint64_t *__get_virtual(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *t,
-                                        int64_t vaddr, bool maketables) {
+dontasan textreal uint64_t *__get_virtual(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *t,
+                                          int64_t vaddr, bool maketables) {
   uint64_t *e, p;
   unsigned char h;
   for (h = 39;; h -= 9) {
@@ -101,7 +101,7 @@ noasan textreal uint64_t *__get_virtual(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *t,
 /**
  * Sorts, rounds, and filters BIOS memory map.
  */
-static noasan textreal void __normalize_e820(struct mman *mm, uint64_t top) {
+static dontasan textreal void __normalize_e820(struct mman *mm, uint64_t top) {
   uint64_t a, b;
   uint64_t x, y;
   unsigned i, j, n;
@@ -134,9 +134,10 @@ static noasan textreal void __normalize_e820(struct mman *mm, uint64_t top) {
 /**
  * Identity maps an area of physical memory to its negative address.
  */
-noasan textreal uint64_t *__invert_memory_area(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t,
-                                               uint64_t ps, uint64_t size,
-                                               uint64_t pte_flags) {
+dontasan textreal uint64_t *__invert_memory_area(struct mman *mm,
+                                                 uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t ps,
+                                                 uint64_t size,
+                                                 uint64_t pte_flags) {
   uint64_t pe = ps + size, p, *m = NULL;
   ps = ROUNDDOWN(ps, 4096);
   pe = ROUNDUP(pe, 4096);
@@ -152,7 +153,7 @@ noasan textreal uint64_t *__invert_memory_area(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t,
 /**
  * Increments the reference count for a page of physical memory.
  */
-noasan void __ref_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t p) {
+dontasan void __ref_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t p) {
   uint64_t *m, e;
   m = __invert_memory_area(mm, pml4t, p, 4096, PAGE_RW | PAGE_XD);
   if (m) {
@@ -167,8 +168,8 @@ noasan void __ref_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t p) {
 /**
  * Increments the reference counts for an area of physical memory.
  */
-noasan void __ref_pages(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t ps,
-                        uint64_t size) {
+dontasan void __ref_pages(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t ps,
+                          uint64_t size) {
   uint64_t p = ROUNDDOWN(ps, 4096), e = ROUNDUP(ps + size, 4096);
   while (p != e) {
     __ref_page(mm, pml4t, p);
@@ -179,9 +180,9 @@ noasan void __ref_pages(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t ps,
 /**
  * Reclaims a page of physical memory for later use.
  */
-static noasan void __reclaim_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t p) {
+static dontasan void __reclaim_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t p) {
   struct ReclaimedPage *rp = (struct ReclaimedPage *)(BANE + p);
-  _unassert(p == (p & PAGE_TA));
+  unassert(p == (p & PAGE_TA));
   rp->next = mm->frp;
   mm->frp = p;
 }
@@ -191,7 +192,7 @@ static noasan void __reclaim_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t p) {
  * page if there are no virtual addresses (excluding the negative space)
  * referring to it.
  */
-noasan void __unref_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t p) {
+dontasan void __unref_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t p) {
   uint64_t *m, e;
   m = __invert_memory_area(mm, pml4t, p, 4096, PAGE_RW | PAGE_XD);
   if (m) {
@@ -207,7 +208,8 @@ noasan void __unref_page(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t p) {
 /**
  * Identity maps all usable physical memory to its negative address.
  */
-static noasan textreal void __invert_memory(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t) {
+static dontasan textreal void __invert_memory(struct mman *mm,
+                                              uint64_t *pml4t) {
   uint64_t i, j, *m, p, pe;
   for (i = 0; i < mm->e820n; ++i) {
     uint64_t ps = mm->e820[i].addr, size = mm->e820[i].size;
@@ -230,8 +232,8 @@ static noasan textreal void __invert_memory(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t) {
                  : "i"(offsetof(type, member)));         \
   } while (0)
 
-noasan textreal void __setup_mman(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t,
-                                  uint64_t top) {
+dontasan textreal void __setup_mman(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t,
+                                    uint64_t top) {
   export_offsetof(struct mman, pc_drive_base_table);
   export_offsetof(struct mman, pc_drive_last_sector);
   export_offsetof(struct mman, pc_drive_last_head);
@@ -257,8 +259,8 @@ noasan textreal void __setup_mman(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t,
 /**
  * Maps APE-defined ELF program headers into memory and clears BSS.
  */
-noasan textreal void __map_phdrs(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t b,
-                                 uint64_t top) {
+dontasan textreal void __map_phdrs(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t b,
+                                   uint64_t top) {
   struct Elf64_Phdr *p;
   uint64_t i, f, v, m, *e;
   extern char ape_phdrs[] __attribute__((__weak__));
@@ -292,8 +294,9 @@ noasan textreal void __map_phdrs(struct mman *mm, uint64_t *pml4t, uint64_t b,
  * Reclaims memory pages which were used at boot time but which can now be
  * made available for the application.
  */
-noasan textreal void __reclaim_boot_pages(struct mman *mm, uint64_t skip_start,
-                                          uint64_t skip_end) {
+dontasan textreal void __reclaim_boot_pages(struct mman *mm,
+                                            uint64_t skip_start,
+                                            uint64_t skip_end) {
   uint64_t p = mm->frp, q = IMAGE_BASE_REAL, i, n = mm->e820n, b, e;
   for (i = 0; i < n; ++i) {
     b = mm->e820[i].addr;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/mmi.c b/libc/intrin/mmi.c
index 4ba2a87ca..500946218 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/mmi.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/mmi.c
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-STATIC_YOINK("_init__mmi");
+__static_yoink("_init__mmi");
 #endif
 
 struct MemoryIntervals _mmi;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/nocolor.c b/libc/intrin/nocolor.c
index 316f3eda6..60ad3efa9 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/nocolor.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/nocolor.c
@@ -48,9 +48,9 @@
  */
 bool __nocolor;
 
-optimizesize textstartup noasan void __nocolor_init(int argc, char **argv,
-                                                    char **envp,
-                                                    intptr_t *auxv) {
+optimizesize textstartup dontasan void __nocolor_init(int argc, char **argv,
+                                                      char **envp,
+                                                      intptr_t *auxv) {
   char *s;
   __nocolor = (IsWindows() && !IsAtLeastWindows10()) ||
               ((s = getenv("TERM")) && IsDumb(s));
diff --git a/libc/intrin/ntgetversion.c b/libc/intrin/ntgetversion.c
index f6741ad10..5b88bce1c 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/ntgetversion.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/ntgetversion.c
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@
  *
  * @see IsAtLeastWindows10()
  */
-textwindows noasan int NtGetVersion(void) {
+textwindows dontasan int NtGetVersion(void) {
   return (NtGetPeb()->OSMajorVersion & 0xff) << 8 | NtGetPeb()->OSMinorVersion;
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/intrin/pthread_cleanup_pop.c b/libc/intrin/pthread_cleanup_pop.c
index a6c9bb255..abe8de4a8 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/pthread_cleanup_pop.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/pthread_cleanup_pop.c
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@
 void(pthread_cleanup_pop)(struct _pthread_cleanup_buffer *cb, int execute) {
   struct PosixThread *pt;
   if (__tls_enabled && (pt = (struct PosixThread *)__get_tls()->tib_pthread)) {
-    _unassert(cb == pt->cleanup);
+    unassert(cb == pt->cleanup);
     pt->cleanup = cb->__prev;
   }
   if (execute) {
diff --git a/libc/intrin/pthread_getspecific.c b/libc/intrin/pthread_getspecific.c
index da02050e9..abcc81eb9 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/pthread_getspecific.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/pthread_getspecific.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ void *pthread_getspecific(pthread_key_t k) {
   //  pthread_key_create() or after key has been deleted with
   //  pthread_key_delete() is undefined."
   //                                  ──Quoth POSIX.1-2017
-  _unassert(0 <= k && k < PTHREAD_KEYS_MAX);
-  _unassert(atomic_load_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, memory_order_acquire));
+  unassert(0 <= k && k < PTHREAD_KEYS_MAX);
+  unassert(atomic_load_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, memory_order_acquire));
   return __get_tls()->tib_keys[k];
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/pthread_key_delete.c b/libc/intrin/pthread_key_delete.c
index 67d3c3db5..fce775dd1 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/pthread_key_delete.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/pthread_key_delete.c
@@ -35,8 +35,8 @@
  */
 int pthread_key_delete(pthread_key_t k) {
   uint64_t mask;
-  _unassert(0 <= k && k < PTHREAD_KEYS_MAX);
-  _unassert(atomic_load_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, memory_order_acquire));
+  unassert(0 <= k && k < PTHREAD_KEYS_MAX);
+  unassert(atomic_load_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, memory_order_acquire));
   atomic_store_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, 0, memory_order_release);
   return 0;
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/pthread_setspecific.c b/libc/intrin/pthread_setspecific.c
index 2a5295307..92ee5088b 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/pthread_setspecific.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/pthread_setspecific.c
@@ -35,8 +35,8 @@ int pthread_setspecific(pthread_key_t k, const void *val) {
   //  pthread_key_create() or after key has been deleted with
   //  pthread_key_delete() is undefined."
   //                                  ──Quoth POSIX.1-2017
-  _unassert(0 <= k && k < PTHREAD_KEYS_MAX);
-  _unassert(atomic_load_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, memory_order_acquire));
+  unassert(0 <= k && k < PTHREAD_KEYS_MAX);
+  unassert(atomic_load_explicit(_pthread_key_dtor + k, memory_order_acquire));
   __get_tls()->tib_keys[k] = val;
   return 0;
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_lock.c b/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_lock.c
index 1fce825df..ef5e978de 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_lock.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_lock.c
@@ -48,14 +48,14 @@ errno_t(pthread_spin_lock)(pthread_spinlock_t *spin) {
       LOCKTRACE("pthread_spin_lock(%t)", spin);
       break;
     }
-    _unassert(x == 1);
+    unassert(x == 1);
     LOCKTRACE("pthread_spin_lock(%t) trying...", spin);
   }
 #else
   for (;;) {
     x = atomic_exchange_explicit(&spin->_lock, 1, memory_order_acquire);
     if (!x) break;
-    _unassert(x == 1);
+    unassert(x == 1);
   }
 #endif
   return 0;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_trylock.c b/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_trylock.c
index 34376fabb..66c36f9bc 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_trylock.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/pthread_spin_trylock.c
@@ -34,6 +34,6 @@ errno_t(pthread_spin_trylock)(pthread_spinlock_t *spin) {
   int x;
   x = atomic_exchange_explicit(&spin->_lock, 1, memory_order_acquire);
   if (!x) return 0;
-  _unassert(x == 1);
+  unassert(x == 1);
   return EBUSY;
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/stpcpy.c b/libc/intrin/stpcpy.c
index 0dab9b320..8d1fa3999 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/stpcpy.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/stpcpy.c
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@ typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @return pointer to nul byte
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan char *stpcpy(char *d, const char *s) {
+dontasan char *stpcpy(char *d, const char *s) {
   size_t i = 0;
   if (IsAsan()) {
     __asan_verify(d, strlen(s) + 1);
diff --git a/libc/intrin/strchr.c b/libc/intrin/strchr.c
index 4190b9191..60cc9cdd5 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/strchr.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/strchr.c
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ static inline const char *strchr_pure(const char *s, int c) {
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
-noasan static inline const char *strchr_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
+dontasan static inline const char *strchr_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
   unsigned k;
   unsigned m;
   xmm_t v, *p;
@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ noasan static inline const char *strchr_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
 }
 #endif
 
-static noasan inline const char *strchr_x64(const char *p, uint64_t c) {
+static dontasan inline const char *strchr_x64(const char *p, uint64_t c) {
   unsigned a, b;
   uint64_t w, x, y;
   for (c *= 0x0101010101010101;; p += 8) {
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ char *strchr(const char *s, int c) {
   } else {
     r = strchr_pure(s, c);
   }
-  _unassert(!r || *r || !(c & 255));
+  unassert(!r || *r || !(c & 255));
   return (char *)r;
 #else
   char *r;
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ char *strchr(const char *s, int c) {
     if (!*s) return NULL;
   }
   r = strchr_x64(s, c);
-  _unassert(!r || *r || !c);
+  unassert(!r || *r || !c);
   return r;
 #endif
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/strchrnul.c b/libc/intrin/strchrnul.c
index f3571b042..7861219f6 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/strchrnul.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/strchrnul.c
@@ -32,7 +32,8 @@ static inline const char *strchrnul_pure(const char *s, int c) {
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
-noasan static inline const char *strchrnul_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
+dontasan static inline const char *strchrnul_sse(const char *s,
+                                                 unsigned char c) {
   unsigned k;
   unsigned m;
   xmm_t v, *p;
@@ -52,7 +53,7 @@ noasan static inline const char *strchrnul_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
 }
 #endif
 
-noasan static const char *strchrnul_x64(const char *p, uint64_t c) {
+dontasan static const char *strchrnul_x64(const char *p, uint64_t c) {
   unsigned a, b;
   uint64_t w, x, y;
   for (c *= 0x0101010101010101;; p += 8) {
@@ -101,7 +102,7 @@ char *strchrnul(const char *s, int c) {
   } else {
     r = strchrnul_pure(s, c);
   }
-  _unassert((*r & 255) == (c & 255) || !*r);
+  unassert((*r & 255) == (c & 255) || !*r);
   return (char *)r;
 #else
   char *r;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/strcmp.c b/libc/intrin/strcmp.c
index c93cdfb00..484ed0a8e 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/strcmp.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/strcmp.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
  * @return is <0, 0, or >0 based on uint8_t comparison
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan int strcmp(const char *a, const char *b) {
+dontasan int strcmp(const char *a, const char *b) {
   int c;
   size_t i = 0;
   uint64_t v, w, d;
diff --git a/libc/intrin/strcpy.c b/libc/intrin/strcpy.c
index b4f4e907e..48a4a22f4 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/strcpy.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/strcpy.c
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @return original dest
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan char *strcpy(char *d, const char *s) {
+dontasan char *strcpy(char *d, const char *s) {
   size_t i = 0;
   if (IsAsan()) {
     __asan_verify(d, strlen(s) + 1);
diff --git a/libc/intrin/strlen.c b/libc/intrin/strlen.c
index 30d2a4db4..0bdaa3f14 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/strlen.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/strlen.c
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@
  * @return number of bytes (excluding NUL)
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan size_t strlen(const char *s) {
+dontasan size_t strlen(const char *s) {
   if (IsAsan()) __asan_verify_str(s);
 #ifdef __x86_64__
   typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
diff --git a/libc/intrin/strnlen.c b/libc/intrin/strnlen.c
index 9411ae1fb..02dd4aee4 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/strnlen.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/strnlen.c
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #ifndef __aarch64__
 
-static noasan size_t strnlen_x64(const char *s, size_t n, size_t i) {
+static dontasan size_t strnlen_x64(const char *s, size_t n, size_t i) {
   uint64_t w;
   for (; i + 8 < n; i += 8) {
     w = *(uint64_t *)(s + i);
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ static noasan size_t strnlen_x64(const char *s, size_t n, size_t i) {
  * @return byte length
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan size_t strnlen(const char *s, size_t n) {
+dontasan size_t strnlen(const char *s, size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   if (IsAsan() && n) __asan_verify(s, 1);
   for (i = 0; (uintptr_t)(s + i) & 7; ++i) {
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ noasan size_t strnlen(const char *s, size_t n) {
   for (;; ++i) {
     if (i == n || !s[i]) break;
   }
-  _unassert(i == n || (i < n && !s[i]));
+  unassert(i == n || (i < n && !s[i]));
   if (IsAsan()) __asan_verify(s, i);
   return i;
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/ubsan.c b/libc/intrin/ubsan.c
index 35d8c101c..9b128584a 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/ubsan.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/ubsan.c
@@ -204,7 +204,7 @@ static wontreturn void __ubsan_unreachable(void) {
 
 static void __ubsan_exit(void) {
   kprintf("your ubsan runtime needs\n"
-          "\tSTATIC_YOINK(\"__die\");\n"
+          "\t__static_yoink(\"__die\");\n"
           "in order to show you backtraces\n");
   _Exitr(99);
 }
diff --git a/libc/intrin/wsarecv.c b/libc/intrin/wsarecv.c
index 4f52c3e61..89cbf35bf 100644
--- a/libc/intrin/wsarecv.c
+++ b/libc/intrin/wsarecv.c
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ textwindows int WSARecv(
     // Use NULL for this parameter if the lpOverlapped parameter is not
     // NULL to avoid potentially erroneous results. This parameter can
     // be NULL only if the lpOverlapped parameter is not NULL.
-    _unassert(!opt_out_lpNumberOfBytesRecvd);
+    unassert(!opt_out_lpNumberOfBytesRecvd);
   }
 #if defined(SYSDEBUG) && _NTTRACE
   uint32_t NumberOfBytesRecvd;
diff --git a/libc/log/backtrace3.c b/libc/log/backtrace3.c
index 2ca2270ae..a95921f32 100644
--- a/libc/log/backtrace3.c
+++ b/libc/log/backtrace3.c
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@
  * @param st is open symbol table for current executable
  * @return -1 w/ errno if error happened
  */
-dontinstrument noasan int PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols(
+dontinstrument dontasan int PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols(
     int fd, const struct StackFrame *bp, struct SymbolTable *st) {
   bool ok;
   size_t gi;
diff --git a/libc/log/checkfail.c b/libc/log/checkfail.c
index c2d04900b..e4112eabe 100644
--- a/libc/log/checkfail.c
+++ b/libc/log/checkfail.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror_wr");
+__static_yoink("strerror_wr");
 
 /**
  * Handles failure of CHECK_xx() macros.
diff --git a/libc/log/countexpr_report.c b/libc/log/countexpr_report.c
index 4f13555cf..5ad8f431d 100644
--- a/libc/log/countexpr_report.c
+++ b/libc/log/countexpr_report.c
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ static void PrintHistogram(const long *h, size_t n, long t) {
   unsigned long logos;
   for (i = 0; i < n; ++i) {
     p = (h[i] * 10000 + (t >> 1)) / t;
-    _unassert(0 <= p && p <= 10000);
+    unassert(0 <= p && p <= 10000);
     if (p) {
       for (j = 0; j < p / 100; ++j) s[j] = '#';
       s[j] = 0;
diff --git a/libc/log/die.c b/libc/log/die.c
index 15c064847..b8b739abe 100644
--- a/libc/log/die.c
+++ b/libc/log/die.c
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 
 #if SupportsMetal()
-STATIC_YOINK("_idt");
+__static_yoink("_idt");
 #endif
 
 /**
diff --git a/libc/log/leaks.c b/libc/log/leaks.c
index 75cffaaab..d39ba5eb2 100644
--- a/libc/log/leaks.c
+++ b/libc/log/leaks.c
@@ -28,14 +28,14 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("GetSymbolByAddr");
+__static_yoink("GetSymbolByAddr");
 
 #define MAXLEAKS 1000
 
 static bool once;
 static bool hasleaks;
 
-static noasan void CheckLeak(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
+static dontasan void CheckLeak(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
   if (n) {
     if (IsAsan()) {
       if (__asan_get_heap_size(x) && !__asan_is_leaky(x)) {
@@ -47,7 +47,7 @@ static noasan void CheckLeak(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
   }
 }
 
-static noasan void OnMemory(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
+static dontasan void OnMemory(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
   static int i;
   if (n) {
     if (MAXLEAKS) {
@@ -67,7 +67,7 @@ static noasan void OnMemory(void *x, void *y, size_t n, void *a) {
   }
 }
 
-static noasan bool HasLeaks(void) {
+static dontasan bool HasLeaks(void) {
   malloc_inspect_all(CheckLeak, 0);
   return hasleaks;
 }
@@ -79,7 +79,7 @@ static noasan bool HasLeaks(void) {
  * services that depend on malloc() cannot be used, after calling this
  * function.
  */
-noasan void CheckForMemoryLeaks(void) {
+dontasan void CheckForMemoryLeaks(void) {
   struct mallinfo mi;
   if (!IsAsan()) return;  // we need traces to exclude leaky
   if (!_cmpxchg(&once, false, true)) {
diff --git a/libc/log/memlog.c b/libc/log/memlog.c
index fc0de9cbe..f631276f2 100644
--- a/libc/log/memlog.c
+++ b/libc/log/memlog.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@
  *
  * If you put the following in your main file:
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("enable_memory_log");
+ *     __static_yoink("enable_memory_log");
  *
  * Then memory allocations with constant backtraces will be logged to
  * standard error. The columns printed are
@@ -146,7 +146,7 @@ static void __memlog_update(void *p2, void *p) {
       __memlog.usage += n - __memlog.allocs.p[i].size;
       __memlog.allocs.p[i].addr = p2;
       __memlog.allocs.p[i].size = n;
-      _unassert(__memlog.usage >= 0);
+      unassert(__memlog.usage >= 0);
       return;
     }
   }
@@ -170,20 +170,20 @@ static void __memlog_free(void *p) {
     __memlog.allocs.p[i].addr = 0;
     __memlog.usage -= __memlog.allocs.p[i].size;
     __memlog.allocs.f = MIN(__memlog.allocs.f, i);
-    _unassert(__memlog.usage >= 0);
+    unassert(__memlog.usage >= 0);
   } else {
     kprintf("memlog could not find %p\n", p);
     notpossible;
   }
   __memlog_unlock();
-  _unassert(__memlog.free);
+  unassert(__memlog.free);
   __memlog.free(p);
   __memlog_log(__builtin_frame_address(0), "free", 0, p, n);
 }
 
 static void *__memlog_malloc(size_t n) {
   void *res;
-  _unassert(__memlog.malloc);
+  unassert(__memlog.malloc);
   if ((res = __memlog.malloc(n))) {
     __memlog_lock();
     __memlog_insert(res);
@@ -195,7 +195,7 @@ static void *__memlog_malloc(size_t n) {
 
 static void *__memlog_calloc(size_t n, size_t z) {
   void *res;
-  _unassert(__memlog.calloc);
+  unassert(__memlog.calloc);
   if ((res = __memlog.calloc(n, z))) {
     __memlog_lock();
     __memlog_insert(res);
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ static void *__memlog_calloc(size_t n, size_t z) {
 
 static void *__memlog_memalign(size_t l, size_t n) {
   void *res;
-  _unassert(__memlog.memalign);
+  unassert(__memlog.memalign);
   if ((res = __memlog.memalign(l, n))) {
     __memlog_lock();
     __memlog_insert(res);
@@ -221,7 +221,7 @@ static void *__memlog_realloc_impl(void *p, size_t n,
                                    void *(*f)(void *, size_t),
                                    struct StackFrame *frame) {
   void *res;
-  _unassert(f);
+  unassert(f);
   if ((res = f(p, n))) {
     __memlog_lock();
     if (p) {
diff --git a/libc/log/oncrash_amd64.c b/libc/log/oncrash_amd64.c
index 803f7f46c..6e3ae0d5f 100644
--- a/libc/log/oncrash_amd64.c
+++ b/libc/log/oncrash_amd64.c
@@ -45,13 +45,14 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/sig.h"
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 #include "libc/thread/tls.h"
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror_wr");  // for kprintf %m
-STATIC_YOINK("strsignal_r");  // for kprintf %G
+__static_yoink("strerror_wr");  // for kprintf %m
+__static_yoink("strsignal_r");  // for kprintf %G
 
 static const char kGregOrder[17] forcealign(1) = {
     13, 11, 8, 14, 12, 9, 10, 15, 16, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
@@ -219,7 +220,7 @@ relegated void ShowCrashReport(int err, int sig, struct siginfo *si,
   uname(&names);
   errno = err;
   // TODO(jart): Buffer the WHOLE crash report with backtrace for atomic write.
-  _npassert((p = buf = kmalloc((n = 1024 * 1024))));
+  npassert((p = buf = kmalloc((n = 1024 * 1024))));
   p += ksnprintf(
       p, n,
       "\n%serror%s: Uncaught %G (%s) on %s pid %d tid %d\n"
@@ -227,8 +228,9 @@ relegated void ShowCrashReport(int err, int sig, struct siginfo *si,
       "  %s\n"
       "  %s %s %s %s\n",
       !__nocolor ? "\e[30;101m" : "", !__nocolor ? "\e[0m" : "", sig,
-      (ctx && (ctx->uc_mcontext.rsp >= GetStaticStackAddr(0) &&
-               ctx->uc_mcontext.rsp <= GetStaticStackAddr(0) + APE_GUARDSIZE))
+      (ctx &&
+       (ctx->uc_mcontext.rsp >= GetStaticStackAddr(0) &&
+        ctx->uc_mcontext.rsp <= GetStaticStackAddr(0) + getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)))
           ? "Stack Overflow"
           : GetSiCodeName(sig, si->si_code),
       host, getpid(), gettid(), program_invocation_name, strerror(err),
diff --git a/libc/log/oncrash_arm64.c b/libc/log/oncrash_arm64.c
index 8a6249416..82232a32d 100644
--- a/libc/log/oncrash_arm64.c
+++ b/libc/log/oncrash_arm64.c
@@ -39,12 +39,13 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/symbols.internal.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/sig.h"
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 #ifdef __aarch64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror_wr");  // for kprintf %m
-STATIC_YOINK("strsignal_r");  // for kprintf %G
+__static_yoink("strerror_wr");  // for kprintf %m
+__static_yoink("strsignal_r");  // for kprintf %G
 
 #define RESET   "\e[0m"
 #define BOLD    "\e[1m"
@@ -197,7 +198,8 @@ relegated void __oncrash_arm64(int sig, struct siginfo *si, void *arg) {
     gethostname(host, sizeof(host));
     reset = !__nocolor ? RESET : "";
     strong = !__nocolor ? STRONG : "";
-    if (ctx && (ctx->uc_mcontext.sp & (GetStackSize() - 1)) <= APE_GUARDSIZE) {
+    if (ctx &&
+        (ctx->uc_mcontext.sp & (GetStackSize() - 1)) <= getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)) {
       kind = "Stack Overflow";
     } else {
       kind = GetSiCodeName(sig, si->si_code);
diff --git a/libc/log/showcrashreports.c b/libc/log/showcrashreports.c
index d17a2ce6d..97500f6aa 100644
--- a/libc/log/showcrashreports.c
+++ b/libc/log/showcrashreports.c
@@ -37,13 +37,13 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/sig.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/ss.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");                       // for symtab
-STATIC_YOINK("__die");                       // for backtracing
-STATIC_YOINK("ShowBacktrace");               // for backtracing
-STATIC_YOINK("GetSymbolTable");              // for backtracing
-STATIC_YOINK("PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols");  // for backtracing
-STATIC_YOINK("malloc_inspect_all");          // for asan memory origin
-STATIC_YOINK("GetSymbolByAddr");             // for asan memory origin
+__static_yoink("zipos");                       // for symtab
+__static_yoink("__die");                       // for backtracing
+__static_yoink("ShowBacktrace");               // for backtracing
+__static_yoink("GetSymbolTable");              // for backtracing
+__static_yoink("PrintBacktraceUsingSymbols");  // for backtracing
+__static_yoink("malloc_inspect_all");          // for asan memory origin
+__static_yoink("GetSymbolByAddr");             // for asan memory origin
 
 struct CrashHandler {
   int sig;
@@ -147,8 +147,8 @@ void ShowCrashReports(void) {
     ss.ss_size = GetStackSize();
     // FreeBSD sigaltstack() will EFAULT if we use MAP_STACK here
     // OpenBSD sigaltstack() auto-applies MAP_STACK to the memory
-    _npassert((ss.ss_sp = _mapanon(GetStackSize())));
-    _npassert(!sigaltstack(&ss, 0));
+    npassert((ss.ss_sp = _mapanon(GetStackSize())));
+    npassert(!sigaltstack(&ss, 0));
   }
   InstallCrashHandler(SIGQUIT, __got_sigquit, ef);  // ctrl+\ aka ctrl+break
   InstallCrashHandler(SIGFPE, __got_sigfpe, ef);    // 1 / 0
diff --git a/libc/log/showcrashreportsearly.S b/libc/log/showcrashreportsearly.S
index e6cd7ed1b..e29871fa4 100644
--- a/libc/log/showcrashreportsearly.S
+++ b/libc/log/showcrashreportsearly.S
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@
 //	there's a crash in a constructor, this will help with
 //	troubleshooting it. You need to add:
 //
-//	    STATIC_YOINK("ShowCrashReportsEarly");
+//	    __static_yoink("ShowCrashReportsEarly");
 //
 //	To the top of your main module to use this.
 
diff --git a/libc/mem/arena.c b/libc/mem/arena.c
index 4bab05c88..7bb14cb8e 100644
--- a/libc/mem/arena.c
+++ b/libc/mem/arena.c
@@ -64,12 +64,12 @@ static wontreturn void __arena_die(void) {
 }
 
 forceinline void __arena_check(void) {
-  _unassert(__arena.depth);
+  unassert(__arena.depth);
 }
 
 forceinline void __arena_check_pointer(void *p) {
-  _unassert(BASE + __arena.offset[__arena.depth - 1] <= (uintptr_t)p &&
-            (uintptr_t)p < BASE + __arena.offset[__arena.depth]);
+  unassert(BASE + __arena.offset[__arena.depth - 1] <= (uintptr_t)p &&
+           (uintptr_t)p < BASE + __arena.offset[__arena.depth]);
 }
 
 forceinline bool __arena_is_arena_pointer(void *p) {
@@ -322,7 +322,7 @@ void __arena_push(void) {
   if (!__arena.depth) {
     __arena_install();
   } else {
-    _unassert(__arena.depth < ARRAYLEN(__arena.offset) - 1);
+    unassert(__arena.depth < ARRAYLEN(__arena.offset) - 1);
   }
   __arena.offset[__arena.depth + 1] = __arena.offset[__arena.depth];
   ++__arena.depth;
diff --git a/libc/mem/gc.c b/libc/mem/gc.c
index ab0c2697b..538f38361 100644
--- a/libc/mem/gc.c
+++ b/libc/mem/gc.c
@@ -93,8 +93,8 @@ static void DeferFunction(struct StackFrame *frame, void *fn, void *arg) {
 void __defer(void *rbp, void *fn, void *arg) {
   struct StackFrame *f, *frame = rbp;
   f = __builtin_frame_address(0);
-  _unassert(f->next == frame);
-  _unassert(PointerNotOwnedByParentStackFrame(f, frame, arg));
+  unassert(f->next == frame);
+  unassert(PointerNotOwnedByParentStackFrame(f, frame, arg));
   DeferFunction(frame, fn, arg);
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/mem/sortedints.c b/libc/mem/sortedints.c
index 074e0956a..cc4fc1663 100644
--- a/libc/mem/sortedints.c
+++ b/libc/mem/sortedints.c
@@ -51,8 +51,8 @@ int LeftmostInt(const struct SortedInts *t, int k) {
       r = m;
     }
   }
-  _unassert(l == 0 || k >= t->p[l - 1]);
-  _unassert(l == t->n || k <= t->p[l]);
+  unassert(l == 0 || k >= t->p[l - 1]);
+  unassert(l == t->n || k <= t->p[l]);
   return l;
 }
 
@@ -70,8 +70,8 @@ int CountInt(const struct SortedInts *t, int k) {
 
 bool InsertInt(struct SortedInts *t, int k, bool u) {
   int l;
-  _unassert(t->n >= 0);
-  _unassert(t->n <= t->c);
+  unassert(t->n >= 0);
+  unassert(t->n <= t->c);
   if (t->n == t->c) {
     ++t->c;
     if (!IsModeDbg()) {
diff --git a/libc/nexgen32e/blink_linux_aarch64.S b/libc/nexgen32e/blink_linux_aarch64.S
index 8fcbcd86f..0f084488d 100644
--- a/libc/nexgen32e/blink_linux_aarch64.S
+++ b/libc/nexgen32e/blink_linux_aarch64.S
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 //	If you want to support Raspberry Pi by embedding an emulator
 //	in your APE binary that runs automatically, then put this:
 //
-//	    STATIC_YOINK("blink_linux_aarch64");
+//	    __static_yoink("blink_linux_aarch64");
 //
 //	In your main.c file, to pull it into linkage from the static
 //	archive. Alternatively, you may simply add blink_linux_aarch64.o
diff --git a/libc/nexgen32e/blink_xnu_aarch64.S b/libc/nexgen32e/blink_xnu_aarch64.S
index 5620420e4..2544af91b 100644
--- a/libc/nexgen32e/blink_xnu_aarch64.S
+++ b/libc/nexgen32e/blink_xnu_aarch64.S
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 //	If you want to support Apple M1 by embedding an emulator in
 //	your APE binary that runs automatically, then put this:
 //
-//	    STATIC_YOINK("blink_xnu_aarch64");
+//	    __static_yoink("blink_xnu_aarch64");
 //
 //	In your main.c file, to pull it into linkage from the static
 //	archive. Alternatively, you may simply add blink_xnu_aarch64.o
diff --git a/libc/nt/struct/imagesectionheader.internal.h b/libc/nt/struct/imagesectionheader.internal.h
index 23c733606..7da391fac 100644
--- a/libc/nt/struct/imagesectionheader.internal.h
+++ b/libc/nt/struct/imagesectionheader.internal.h
@@ -3,14 +3,60 @@
 #if !(__ASSEMBLER__ + __LINKER__ + 0)
 
 struct NtImageSectionHeader {
+
   uint8_t Name[8];
+
   union {
+
     uint32_t PhysicalAddress;
+
+    /*
+     * The total size of the section when loaded into memory. If this
+     * value is greater than SizeOfRawData, the section is zero-padded.
+     * This field is valid only for executable images and should be set
+     * to zero for object files.
+     */
     uint32_t VirtualSize;
+
   } Misc;
+
+  /*
+   * In an image file, the VAs for sections must be assigned by the
+   * linker so that they are in ascending order and adjacent, and they
+   * must be a multiple of the SectionAlignment value in the optional
+   * header.
+   *
+   * For executable images, the address of the first byte of the section
+   * relative to the image base when the section is loaded into memory.
+   * For object files, this field is the address of the first byte
+   * before relocation is applied; for simplicity, compilers should set
+   * this to zero. Otherwise, it is an arbitrary value that is
+   * subtracted from offsets during relocation.
+   */
   uint32_t VirtualAddress;
+
+  /*
+   * The size of the section (for object files) or the size of the
+   * initialized data on disk (for image files). For executable images,
+   * this must be a multiple of FileAlignment from the optional header.
+   * If this is less than VirtualSize, the remainder of the section is
+   * zero-filled. Because the SizeOfRawData field is rounded but the
+   * VirtualSize field is not, it is possible for SizeOfRawData to be
+   * greater than VirtualSize as well. When a section contains only
+   * uninitialized data, this field should be zero.
+   */
   uint32_t SizeOfRawData;
+
+  /*
+   * The file pointer to the first page of the section within the COFF
+   * file. For executable images, this must be a multiple of
+   * FileAlignment from the optional header. For object files, the value
+   * should be aligned on a 4-byte boundary for best performance. When a
+   * section contains only uninitialized data, this field should be
+   * zero.
+   */
   uint32_t PointerToRawData;
+
   uint32_t PointerToRelocations;
   uint32_t PointerToLinenumbers;
   uint16_t NumberOfRelocations;
diff --git a/libc/nt/struct/teb.h b/libc/nt/struct/teb.h
index a8e056175..8b643af79 100644
--- a/libc/nt/struct/teb.h
+++ b/libc/nt/struct/teb.h
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@
 
 /*
  * These macros address directly into NT's TEB a.k.a. TIB
- * Any function that does this needs the `noasan` keyword
+ * Any function that does this needs the `dontasan` keyword
  */
 #define NtGetPeb()           gs((struct NtPeb **)(0x60ULL))
 #define NtGetTeb()           gs((void **)(0x30))    /* %gs:0 linear address */
diff --git a/libc/runtime/__sigsetjmp_tail.c b/libc/runtime/__sigsetjmp_tail.c
index c564416bc..3eb4f87cc 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/__sigsetjmp_tail.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/__sigsetjmp_tail.c
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ int __sigsetjmp_tail(sigjmp_buf jb, int rc) {
       sizeof(sigjmp_buf) == sizeof(jmp_buf) + 8 + 8 + sizeof(sigset_t),
       "please recompute sigjmp_buf w.r.t. sigset_t");
   void *p = (char *)jb + sizeof(jmp_buf) + 8 + 8;
-  _npassert(!sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, rc ? p : 0, rc ? 0 : p));
+  npassert(!sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, rc ? p : 0, rc ? 0 : p));
   return rc;
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/runtime/clone.c b/libc/runtime/clone.c
index 03e01040c..860e77d1e 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/clone.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/clone.c
@@ -113,11 +113,11 @@ int WinThreadLaunch(void *arg,                 // rdi
 //   2. windows owns the stack memory right now
 // we need win32 raw imports because:
 //   1. generated thunks are function logged
-noasan dontinstrument static textwindows wontreturn void  //
-WinThreadEntry(int rdi,                                   // rcx
-               int rsi,                                   // rdx
-               int rdx,                                   // r8
-               struct CloneArgs *wt) {                    // r9
+dontasan dontinstrument static textwindows wontreturn void  //
+WinThreadEntry(int rdi,                                     // rcx
+               int rsi,                                     // rdx
+               int rdx,                                     // r8
+               struct CloneArgs *wt) {                      // r9
   int rc;
   if (wt->tls) __set_tls_win32(wt->tls);
   *wt->ctid = wt->tid;
@@ -143,7 +143,7 @@ static textwindows errno_t CloneWindows(int (*func)(void *, int), char *stk,
   wt->func = func;
   wt->arg = arg;
   wt->tls = flags & CLONE_SETTLS ? tls : 0;
-  if ((h = CreateThread(0, 4096, (void *)WinThreadEntry, wt, 0, &wt->utid))) {
+  if ((h = CreateThread(0, 65536, (void *)WinThreadEntry, wt, 0, &wt->utid))) {
     CloseHandle(h);
     if (flags & CLONE_PARENT_SETTID) {
       *ptid = wt->tid;
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@ static errno_t CloneXnu(int (*fn)(void *), char *stk, size_t stksz, int flags,
   static bool once;
   struct CloneArgs *wt;
   if (!once) {
-    _npassert(sys_bsdthread_register(XnuThreadThunk, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0) != -1);
+    npassert(sys_bsdthread_register(XnuThreadThunk, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0) != -1);
     once = true;
   }
   wt = AllocateCloneArgs(stk, stksz);
@@ -286,7 +286,7 @@ static errno_t CloneFreebsd(int (*func)(void *, int), char *stk, size_t stksz,
 
 // we can't use address sanitizer because:
 //   1. __asan_handle_no_return wipes stack [todo?]
-noasan static wontreturn void OpenbsdThreadMain(void *p) {
+dontasan static wontreturn void OpenbsdThreadMain(void *p) {
   struct CloneArgs *wt = p;
   *wt->ctid = wt->tid;
   wt->func(wt->arg, wt->tid);
@@ -325,7 +325,7 @@ static errno_t CloneOpenbsd(int (*func)(void *, int), char *stk, size_t stksz,
   tf->tf_tcb = flags & CLONE_SETTLS ? tls : 0;
   tf->tf_tid = &wt->tid;
   if ((rc = __tfork_thread(tf, sizeof(*tf), OpenbsdThreadMain, wt)) >= 0) {
-    _npassert(rc);
+    npassert(rc);
     if (flags & CLONE_PARENT_SETTID) {
       *ptid = rc;
     }
@@ -376,7 +376,7 @@ static int CloneNetbsd(int (*func)(void *, int), char *stk, size_t stksz,
                  : CFLAG_CONSTRAINT(failed), "=a"(ax)
                  : "1"(__NR_getcontext_netbsd), "D"(&netbsd_clone_template)
                  : "rcx", "rdx", "r8", "r9", "r10", "r11", "memory");
-    _npassert(!failed);
+    npassert(!failed);
     once = true;
   }
   sp = (intptr_t)(stk + stksz);
@@ -425,7 +425,7 @@ static int CloneNetbsd(int (*func)(void *, int), char *stk, size_t stksz,
                : "1"(__NR__lwp_create), "D"(ctx), "S"(LWP_DETACHED), "2"(tid)
                : "rcx", "r8", "r9", "r10", "r11", "memory");
   if (!failed) {
-    _npassert(*tid);
+    npassert(*tid);
     if (flags & CLONE_PARENT_SETTID) {
       *ptid = *tid;
     }
diff --git a/libc/runtime/cocmd.c b/libc/runtime/cocmd.c
index b9ea56d7f..9664d4c17 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/cocmd.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/cocmd.c
@@ -137,7 +137,7 @@ static void UnsetEnv(char **p, const char *k) {
 }
 
 static void Append(int c) {
-  _npassert(q + 1 < argbuf + sizeof(argbuf));
+  npassert(q + 1 < argbuf + sizeof(argbuf));
   *q++ = c;
 }
 
@@ -234,6 +234,54 @@ static int Echo(void) {
   return 0;
 }
 
+static int Cat(void) {
+  int i, fd;
+  ssize_t rc;
+  char buf[512];
+  if (n < 2) {
+    for (;;) {
+      rc = read(0, buf, sizeof(buf));
+      if (rc == -1) {
+        perror("read");
+        return 1;
+      }
+      if (!rc) break;
+      rc = write(1, buf, rc);
+      if (rc == -1) {
+        perror("write");
+        return 1;
+      }
+    }
+  } else {
+    for (i = 1; i < n; ++i) {
+      if ((fd = open(args[i], O_RDONLY)) == -1) {
+        perror(args[i]);
+        return 1;
+      }
+      for (;;) {
+        rc = read(fd, buf, sizeof(buf));
+        if (rc == -1) {
+          perror(args[i]);
+          close(fd);
+          return 1;
+        }
+        if (!rc) break;
+        rc = write(1, buf, rc);
+        if (rc == -1) {
+          perror("write");
+          close(fd);
+          return 1;
+        }
+      }
+      if (close(fd)) {
+        perror(args[i]);
+        return 1;
+      }
+    }
+  }
+  return 0;
+}
+
 static int Read(void) {
   unsigned char c;
   int i, j, rc = 1;
@@ -522,6 +570,7 @@ static int TryBuiltin(void) {
   if (!strcmp(args[0], "cd")) return Cd();
   if (!strcmp(args[0], "rm")) return Rm();
   if (!strcmp(args[0], "[")) return Test();
+  if (!strcmp(args[0], "cat")) return Cat();
   if (!strcmp(args[0], "env")) return Env();
   if (!strcmp(args[0], "exec")) return Exec();
   if (!strcmp(args[0], "wait")) return Wait();
@@ -562,14 +611,14 @@ static void Pipe(void) {
     _Exit(127);
   }
   if (!pid) {
-    _unassert(dup2(pfds[1], 1) == 1);
+    unassert(dup2(pfds[1], 1) == 1);
     // we can't rely on cloexec because builtins
-    if (pfds[0] != 1) _unassert(!close(pfds[0]));
-    if (pfds[1] != 1) _unassert(!close(pfds[1]));
+    if (pfds[0] != 1) unassert(!close(pfds[0]));
+    if (pfds[1] != 1) unassert(!close(pfds[1]));
     _Exit(ShellExec());
   }
-  _unassert(!dup2(pfds[0], 0));
-  if (pfds[1]) _unassert(!close(pfds[1]));
+  unassert(!dup2(pfds[0], 0));
+  if (pfds[1]) unassert(!close(pfds[1]));
   n = 0;
 }
 
@@ -619,7 +668,7 @@ static const char *GetVar(const char *key) {
   } else if (key[0] == '?' && !key[1]) {
     return IntToStr(exitstatus);
   } else if (!strcmp(key, "PWD")) {
-    _npassert(getcwd(vbuf, sizeof(vbuf)));
+    npassert(getcwd(vbuf, sizeof(vbuf)));
     return vbuf;
   } else if (!strcmp(key, "UID")) {
     FormatInt32(vbuf, getuid());
@@ -644,14 +693,14 @@ static bool CopyVar(void) {
   size_t j;
   const char *s;
   if (IsVarName(*p)) {
-    _npassert(vari + 1 < sizeof(var));
+    npassert(vari + 1 < sizeof(var));
     var[vari++] = *p;
     var[vari] = 0;
     return false;
   }
   if ((s = GetVar(var))) {
     if ((j = strlen(s))) {
-      _npassert(q + j < argbuf + sizeof(argbuf));
+      npassert(q + j < argbuf + sizeof(argbuf));
       q = mempcpy(q, s, j);
     }
   }
@@ -855,7 +904,7 @@ int _cocmd(int argc, char **argv, char **envp) {
   int envi = 0;
   if (envp) {
     for (; envp[envi]; ++envi) {
-      _npassert(envi + 1 < ARRAYLEN(envs));
+      npassert(envi + 1 < ARRAYLEN(envs));
       envs[envi] = envp[envi];
     }
   }
diff --git a/libc/runtime/daemon.c b/libc/runtime/daemon.c
index 91bd6aa59..93d34c9af 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/daemon.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/daemon.c
@@ -52,15 +52,15 @@ int daemon(int nochdir, int noclose) {
   }
 
   if (!nochdir) {
-    _unassert(!chdir("/"));
+    unassert(!chdir("/"));
   }
 
   if (!noclose && (fd = open(_PATH_DEVNULL, O_RDWR)) != -1) {
-    _unassert(dup2(fd, 0) == 0);
-    _unassert(dup2(fd, 1) == 1);
-    _unassert(dup2(fd, 2) == 2);
+    unassert(dup2(fd, 0) == 0);
+    unassert(dup2(fd, 1) == 1);
+    unassert(dup2(fd, 2) == 2);
     if (fd > 2) {
-      _unassert(!close(fd));
+      unassert(!close(fd));
     }
   }
 
diff --git a/libc/runtime/efimain.greg.c b/libc/runtime/efimain.greg.c
index 777f6eca8..7089224f0 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/efimain.greg.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/efimain.greg.c
@@ -125,7 +125,7 @@ static void EfiInitVga(struct mman *mm, EFI_SYSTEM_TABLE *SystemTable) {
  * So if you want to trade away Windows so that you can use
  * UEFI instead of the normal BIOS boot process, do this:
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("EfiMain");
+ *     __static_yoink("EfiMain");
  *     int main() { ... }
  *
  * You can use QEMU to test this, but please note that UEFI
@@ -141,8 +141,8 @@ static void EfiInitVga(struct mman *mm, EFI_SYSTEM_TABLE *SystemTable) {
  *
  * @see libc/dce.h
  */
-__msabi noasan EFI_STATUS EfiMain(EFI_HANDLE ImageHandle,
-                                  EFI_SYSTEM_TABLE *SystemTable) {
+__msabi dontasan EFI_STATUS EfiMain(EFI_HANDLE ImageHandle,
+                                    EFI_SYSTEM_TABLE *SystemTable) {
   int type, x87cw = 0x037f;
   struct mman *mm;
   uint32_t DescVersion;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/enable_threads.c b/libc/runtime/enable_threads.c
index 177a67207..a7b342ffb 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/enable_threads.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/enable_threads.c
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
 extern int __threadcalls_end[] __attribute__((__weak__));
 extern int __threadcalls_start[] __attribute__((__weak__));
 
-static privileged dontinline void FixupLockNops(void) {
+static privileged void FixupLockNops(void) {
   __morph_begin();
   /*
    * _NOPL("__threadcalls", func)
diff --git a/libc/runtime/enable_tls.c b/libc/runtime/enable_tls.c
index fd6f91157..ea7bf1a07 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/enable_tls.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/enable_tls.c
@@ -116,8 +116,8 @@ textstartup void __enable_tls(void) {
   //     _tbss_start + _tbss_size:
   //     _tdata_start + _tls_size:
   //
-  _unassert(_tbss_start == _tdata_start + I(_tbss_offset));
-  _unassert(_tbss_start + I(_tbss_size) == _tdata_start + I(_tls_size));
+  unassert(_tbss_start == _tdata_start + I(_tbss_offset));
+  unassert(_tbss_start + I(_tbss_size) == _tdata_start + I(_tls_size));
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
@@ -130,12 +130,12 @@ textstartup void __enable_tls(void) {
   } else {
     // if this binary needs a hefty tls block then we'll bank on
     // malloc() being linked, which links _mapanon().  otherwise
-    // if you exceed this, you need to STATIC_YOINK("_mapanon").
+    // if you exceed this, you need to __static_yoink("_mapanon").
     // please note that it's probably too early to call calloc()
-    _npassert(_weaken(_mapanon));
+    npassert(_weaken(_mapanon));
     siz = ROUNDUP(siz, FRAMESIZE);
     mem = _weaken(_mapanon)(siz);
-    _npassert(mem);
+    npassert(mem);
   }
 
   if (IsAsan()) {
@@ -154,10 +154,10 @@ textstartup void __enable_tls(void) {
   if (siz <= sizeof(__static_tls)) {
     mem = __static_tls;
   } else {
-    _npassert(_weaken(_mapanon));
+    npassert(_weaken(_mapanon));
     siz = ROUNDUP(siz, FRAMESIZE);
     mem = _weaken(_mapanon)(siz);
-    _npassert(mem);
+    npassert(mem);
   }
 
   if (IsAsan()) {
@@ -205,7 +205,7 @@ textstartup void __enable_tls(void) {
   _pthread_main.tib = tib;
   _pthread_main.flags = PT_STATIC;
   _pthread_main.list.prev = _pthread_main.list.next =  //
-      _pthread_list = VEIL("r", &_pthread_main.list);
+      _pthread_list = __veil("r", &_pthread_main.list);
   atomic_store_explicit(&_pthread_main.ptid, tid, memory_order_relaxed);
 
   // copy in initialized data section
diff --git a/libc/runtime/fork-nt.c b/libc/runtime/fork-nt.c
index e0ee91e3c..42fe50e14 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/fork-nt.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/fork-nt.c
@@ -61,7 +61,7 @@
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_check_sigchld");
+__static_yoink("_check_sigchld");
 
 extern int64_t __wincrashearly;
 bool32 __onntconsoleevent_nt(uint32_t);
@@ -231,7 +231,7 @@ textwindows void WinMainForked(void) {
 
   // rewrap the stdin named pipe hack
   // since the handles closed on fork
-  struct Fds *fds = VEIL("r", &g_fds);
+  struct Fds *fds = __veil("r", &g_fds);
   fds->p[0].handle = GetStdHandle(kNtStdInputHandle);
   fds->p[1].handle = GetStdHandle(kNtStdOutputHandle);
   fds->p[2].handle = GetStdHandle(kNtStdErrorHandle);
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getdosargv.c b/libc/runtime/getdosargv.c
index 233585a55..b66a35a90 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getdosargv.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getdosargv.c
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ struct DosArgv {
   wint_t wc;
 };
 
-textwindows noasan void DecodeDosArgv(int ignore, struct DosArgv *st) {
+textwindows dontasan void DecodeDosArgv(int ignore, struct DosArgv *st) {
   wint_t x, y;
   for (;;) {
     if (!(x = *st->s++)) break;
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ textwindows noasan void DecodeDosArgv(int ignore, struct DosArgv *st) {
   st->wc = x;
 }
 
-static textwindows noasan void AppendDosArgv(wint_t wc, struct DosArgv *st) {
+static textwindows dontasan void AppendDosArgv(wint_t wc, struct DosArgv *st) {
   uint64_t w;
   w = _tpenc(wc);
   do {
@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ static textwindows noasan void AppendDosArgv(wint_t wc, struct DosArgv *st) {
   } while (w >>= 8);
 }
 
-static textwindows noasan int Count(int c, struct DosArgv *st) {
+static textwindows dontasan int Count(int c, struct DosArgv *st) {
   int ignore, n = 0;
   asm("" : "=g"(ignore));
   while (st->wc == c) {
@@ -82,8 +82,8 @@ static textwindows noasan int Count(int c, struct DosArgv *st) {
 // @see test/libc/dosarg_test.c
 // @see libc/runtime/ntspawn.c
 // @note kudos to Simon Tatham for figuring out quoting behavior
-textwindows noasan int GetDosArgv(const char16_t *cmdline, char *buf,
-                                  size_t size, char **argv, size_t max) {
+textwindows dontasan int GetDosArgv(const char16_t *cmdline, char *buf,
+                                    size_t size, char **argv, size_t max) {
   bool inquote;
   int i, argc, slashes, quotes, ignore;
   static struct DosArgv st_;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getdosenviron.c b/libc/runtime/getdosenviron.c
index aa2b30751..e46c7a3e6 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getdosenviron.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getdosenviron.c
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ forceinline char *MemChr(const char *s, unsigned char c, unsigned long n) {
   return 0;
 }
 
-static textwindows noasan dontinstrument axdx_t
+static textwindows dontasan dontinstrument axdx_t
 Recode16to8(char *dst, size_t dstsize, const char16_t *src) {
   bool v;
   axdx_t r;
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ Recode16to8(char *dst, size_t dstsize, const char16_t *src) {
   return r;
 }
 
-textwindows dontinstrument noasan void FixPath(char *path) {
+textwindows dontinstrument dontasan void FixPath(char *path) {
   char *p;
   size_t i;
 
@@ -110,9 +110,9 @@ textwindows dontinstrument noasan void FixPath(char *path) {
 // @param envp stores NULL-terminated string pointer list (optional)
 // @param max is the pointer count capacity of envp
 // @return number of variables decoded, excluding NULL-terminator
-textwindows noasan dontinstrument int GetDosEnviron(const char16_t *env,
-                                                    char *buf, size_t size,
-                                                    char **envp, size_t max) {
+textwindows dontasan dontinstrument int GetDosEnviron(const char16_t *env,
+                                                      char *buf, size_t size,
+                                                      char **envp, size_t max) {
   int i;
   char *p;
   axdx_t r;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getmemtracksize.c b/libc/runtime/getmemtracksize.c
index d47136b33..af76f2a53 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getmemtracksize.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getmemtracksize.c
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 #include "libc/runtime/memtrack.internal.h"
 
-noasan size_t GetMemtrackSize(struct MemoryIntervals *mm) {
+dontasan size_t GetMemtrackSize(struct MemoryIntervals *mm) {
   size_t i, n;
   for (n = i = 0; i < mm->i; ++i) {
     n += ((size_t)(mm->p[i].y - mm->p[i].x) + 1) << 16;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getsymbol.c b/libc/runtime/getsymbol.c
index 8852b2200..7d36c5de7 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getsymbol.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getsymbol.c
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ extern struct SymbolTable *__symtab;
  * @param t if null will be auto-populated only if already open
  * @return index or -1 if nothing found
  */
-dontinstrument privileged int __get_symbol(struct SymbolTable *t, intptr_t a) {
+privileged int __get_symbol(struct SymbolTable *t, intptr_t a) {
   // we need privileged because:
   //   kprintf is privileged and it depends on this
   // we don't want function tracing because:
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getsymbolbyaddr.c b/libc/runtime/getsymbolbyaddr.c
index ab62f9869..9416e13e5 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getsymbolbyaddr.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getsymbolbyaddr.c
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 /**
  * Returns name of symbol at address.
  */
-noasan char *GetSymbolByAddr(int64_t addr) {
+dontasan char *GetSymbolByAddr(int64_t addr) {
   /* asan runtime depends on this function */
   int i;
   struct SymbolTable *st;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getsymbolname.c b/libc/runtime/getsymbolname.c
index b9ba568e9..7fffbb805 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getsymbolname.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getsymbolname.c
@@ -18,8 +18,7 @@
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 #include "libc/runtime/symbols.internal.h"
 
-privileged dontinstrument noasan noubsan char *__get_symbol_name(
-    struct SymbolTable *t, int s) {
+privileged char *__get_symbol_name(struct SymbolTable *t, int s) {
   /* asan runtime depends on this function */
   if (t && s != -1) {
     return t->name_base + t->names[s];
diff --git a/libc/runtime/getsymboltable.c b/libc/runtime/getsymboltable.c
index 6639c5101..464a2ac3d 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/getsymboltable.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/getsymboltable.c
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
 #include "libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h"
 #include "third_party/puff/puff.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("__get_symbol");
+__static_yoink("__get_symbol");
 
 static pthread_spinlock_t g_lock;
 struct SymbolTable *__symtab;  // for kprintf
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@ static struct SymbolTable *GetSymbolTableFromElf(void) {
  * This uses multiple strategies to find the symbol table. The first
  * strategy, depends on whether or not the following is linked:
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("__zipos_get");
+ *     __static_yoink("__zipos_get");
  *
  * In that case, the symbol table may be read from `/zip/.symtab` which
  * is generated by `o//tool/build/symtab.com`. The second strategy is to
diff --git a/libc/runtime/grow.c b/libc/runtime/grow.c
index e0132e159..dac2f89b5 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/grow.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/grow.c
@@ -38,9 +38,9 @@ bool __grow(void *pp, size_t *capacity, size_t itemsize, size_t extra) {
   size_t t1, t2;
   extra += GUARANTEE_TERMINATOR;
   p = (void **)pp;
-  _unassert(itemsize);
-  _unassert((*p && *capacity) || (!*p && !*capacity));
-  _unassert(!_isheap(*p) || ((intptr_t)*p & 15) == 0);
+  unassert(itemsize);
+  unassert((*p && *capacity) || (!*p && !*capacity));
+  unassert(!_isheap(*p) || ((intptr_t)*p & 15) == 0);
   p1 = _isheap(*p) ? *p : NULL;
   p2 = NULL;
   n1 = *capacity;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/hook.greg.c b/libc/runtime/hook.greg.c
index 4dacb9c38..c781336e5 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/hook.greg.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/hook.greg.c
@@ -106,8 +106,7 @@ static privileged void HookFunction(code_t *func, void *dest) {
  * @param st can be obtained using `GetSymbolTable()`
  * @see ape/ape.lds
  */
-privileged dontinstrument noasan int __hook(void *dest,
-                                            struct SymbolTable *st) {
+privileged int __hook(void *dest, struct SymbolTable *st) {
   long i;
   code_t *p, *pe;
   intptr_t lowest;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/internal.h b/libc/runtime/internal.h
index 44cba05a2..966e2feca 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/internal.h
+++ b/libc/runtime/internal.h
@@ -48,8 +48,8 @@ int GetDosEnviron(const char16_t *, char *, size_t, char **, size_t);
 bool __intercept_flag(int *, char *[], const char *);
 int sys_mprotect_nt(void *, size_t, int);
 int __inflate(void *, size_t, const void *, size_t);
-noasan void *_Mmap(void *, size_t, int, int, int, int64_t);
-noasan int _Munmap(char *, size_t);
+void *_Mmap(void *, size_t, int, int, int, int64_t) dontasan;
+int _Munmap(char *, size_t) dontasan;
 void __on_arithmetic_overflow(void);
 void __init_fds(void);
 
diff --git a/libc/runtime/isheap.c b/libc/runtime/isheap.c
index 6d3796e43..a13b77bcd 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/isheap.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/isheap.c
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@
  * @assume stack addresses are always greater than heap addresses
  * @assume stack memory isn't stored beneath %rsp (-mno-red-zone)
  */
-optimizesize noasan bool _isheap(void *p) {
+optimizesize dontasan bool _isheap(void *p) {
   intptr_t x, y;
   x = kAutomapStart;
   y = x + kAutomapSize;
diff --git a/libc/runtime/memtracknt.c b/libc/runtime/memtracknt.c
index 75c5a6ff3..9f963903f 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/memtracknt.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/memtracknt.c
@@ -23,14 +23,14 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/memtrack.internal.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 
-static inline noasan void *GetFrameAddr(int f) {
+static inline dontasan void *GetFrameAddr(int f) {
   intptr_t a;
   a = f;
   a *= FRAMESIZE;
   return (void *)a;
 }
 
-noasan void ReleaseMemoryNt(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int l, int r) {
+dontasan void ReleaseMemoryNt(struct MemoryIntervals *mm, int l, int r) {
   int i;
   for (i = l; i <= r; ++i) {
     UnmapViewOfFile(GetFrameAddr(mm->p[i].x));
diff --git a/libc/runtime/mmap.c b/libc/runtime/mmap.c
index 878296a6c..6164c63b7 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/mmap.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/mmap.c
@@ -28,7 +28,6 @@
 #include "libc/intrin/bsr.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/describeflags.internal.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/directmap.internal.h"
-#include "libc/intrin/kprintf.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/likely.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/safemacros.internal.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/strace.internal.h"
@@ -47,9 +46,11 @@
 #include "libc/stdckdint.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/rand.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/map.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/prot.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/ss.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/errfuns.h"
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 #include "libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h"
@@ -76,9 +77,9 @@ static wontreturn void OnUnrecoverableMmapError(const char *s) {
   _Exitr(199);
 }
 
-static noasan inline bool OverlapsExistingMapping(char *p, size_t n) {
+static dontasan inline bool OverlapsExistingMapping(char *p, size_t n) {
   int a, b, i;
-  _unassert(n > 0);
+  unassert(n > 0);
   a = FRAME(p);
   b = FRAME(p + (n - 1));
   i = FindMemoryInterval(&_mmi, a);
@@ -90,10 +91,10 @@ static noasan inline bool OverlapsExistingMapping(char *p, size_t n) {
   return false;
 }
 
-static noasan bool ChooseMemoryInterval(int x, int n, int align, int *res) {
+static dontasan bool ChooseMemoryInterval(int x, int n, int align, int *res) {
   // TODO: improve performance
   int i, start, end;
-  _unassert(align > 0);
+  unassert(align > 0);
   if (_mmi.i) {
 
     // find the start of the automap memory region
@@ -151,14 +152,14 @@ static noasan bool ChooseMemoryInterval(int x, int n, int align, int *res) {
   return false;
 }
 
-noasan static bool Automap(int count, int align, int *res) {
+dontasan static bool Automap(int count, int align, int *res) {
   return ChooseMemoryInterval(FRAME(kAutomapStart), count, align, res) &&
          *res + count <= FRAME(kAutomapStart + (kAutomapSize - 1));
 }
 
-static noasan void *FinishMemory(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
-                                 int fd, int64_t off, int f, int x, int n,
-                                 struct DirectMap dm) {
+static dontasan void *FinishMemory(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
+                                   int fd, int64_t off, int f, int x, int n,
+                                   struct DirectMap dm) {
   if (!IsWindows() && (flags & MAP_FIXED)) {
     if (UntrackMemoryIntervals(addr, size)) {
       OnUnrecoverableMmapError("FIXED UNTRACK FAILED");
@@ -177,8 +178,8 @@ static noasan void *FinishMemory(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
   return addr;
 }
 
-static noasan void *MapMemory(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
-                              int fd, int64_t off, int f, int x, int n) {
+static dontasan void *MapMemory(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
+                                int fd, int64_t off, int f, int x, int n) {
   struct DirectMap dm;
   dm = sys_mmap(addr, size, prot, f, fd, off);
   if (VERY_UNLIKELY(dm.addr == MAP_FAILED)) {
@@ -200,17 +201,18 @@ static noasan void *MapMemory(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
  * This is useful on Windows since it allows us to partially unmap or
  * punch holes into existing mappings.
  */
-static textwindows dontinline noasan void *MapMemories(char *addr, size_t size,
-                                                       int prot, int flags,
-                                                       int fd, int64_t off,
-                                                       int f, int x, int n) {
+static textwindows dontinline dontasan void *MapMemories(char *addr,
+                                                         size_t size, int prot,
+                                                         int flags, int fd,
+                                                         int64_t off, int f,
+                                                         int x, int n) {
   size_t i, m;
   int64_t oi, sz;
   struct DirectMap dm;
   bool iscow, readonlyfile;
   m = (size_t)(n - 1) << 16;
-  _unassert(m < size);
-  _unassert(m + FRAMESIZE >= size);
+  unassert(m < size);
+  unassert(m + FRAMESIZE >= size);
   oi = fd == -1 ? 0 : off + m;
   sz = size - m;
   dm = sys_mmap(addr + m, sz, prot, f, fd, oi);
@@ -239,12 +241,13 @@ static textwindows dontinline noasan void *MapMemories(char *addr, size_t size,
   return addr;
 }
 
-noasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
-                          int64_t off) {
+dontasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
+                            int fd, int64_t off) {
   char *p = addr;
   struct DirectMap dm;
   int a, b, i, f, m, n, x;
   bool needguard, clashes;
+  unsigned long guardsize;
   size_t virtualused, virtualneed;
 
   if (VERY_UNLIKELY(!size)) {
@@ -332,6 +335,7 @@ noasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
   }
 
   needguard = false;
+  guardsize = getauxval(AT_PAGESZ);
   p = (char *)ADDR_32_TO_48(x);
   if ((f & MAP_TYPE) == MAP_STACK) {
     if (~f & MAP_ANONYMOUS) {
@@ -355,7 +359,7 @@ noasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
       // make sure there's no existing stuff existing between our stack
       // starting page and the bottom guard page, since that would stop
       // our stack page from growing down.
-      _npassert(!sys_munmap(p, size));
+      npassert(!sys_munmap(p, size));
       // by default MAP_GROWSDOWN will auto-allocate 10mb of pages. it's
       // supposed to stop growing if an adjacent allocation exists, to
       // prevent your stacks from overlapping on each other. we're not
@@ -367,12 +371,12 @@ noasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
       // however this 1mb behavior oddly enough is smart enough to not
       // apply if the mapping is a manually-created guard page.
       int e = errno;
-      if ((dm = sys_mmap(p + size - APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE, prot,
+      if ((dm = sys_mmap(p + size - SIGSTKSZ, SIGSTKSZ, prot,
                          f | MAP_GROWSDOWN_linux, fd, off))
               .addr != MAP_FAILED) {
-        _npassert(sys_mmap(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_NONE,
-                           MAP_FIXED | MAP_PRIVATE | MAP_ANONYMOUS, -1, 0)
-                      .addr == p);
+        npassert(sys_mmap(p, guardsize, PROT_NONE,
+                          MAP_FIXED | MAP_PRIVATE | MAP_ANONYMOUS, -1, 0)
+                     .addr == p);
         dm.addr = p;
         return FinishMemory(p, size, prot, flags, fd, off, f, x, n, dm);
       } else if (errno == ENOTSUP) {
@@ -398,11 +402,11 @@ noasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
     if (needguard) {
       if (!IsWindows()) {
         // make windows fork() code simpler
-        mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_NONE);
+        mprotect(p, guardsize, PROT_NONE);
       }
       if (IsAsan()) {
         __repstosb((void *)(((intptr_t)p >> 3) + 0x7fff8000),
-                   kAsanStackOverflow, APE_GUARDSIZE / 8);
+                   kAsanStackOverflow, guardsize / 8);
       }
     }
   }
@@ -435,15 +439,7 @@ noasan inline void *_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags, int fd,
  *     - `MAP_PRIVATE` for copy-on-write behavior of writeable pages
  *     - `MAP_SHARED` to create shared memory between processes
  *     - `MAP_STACK` to create a grows-down alloc, where a guard page
- *       is automatically protected at the bottom: FreeBSD's behavior
- *       is polyfilled across platforms; uses MAP_GROWSDOWN on Linux
- *       too for extra oomph (do not use MAP_GROWSDOWN!) and this is
- *       completely mandatory on OpenBSD but helps perf elsewhere if
- *       you need to create 10,000 threads.  This flag is the reason
- *       why `STACK_FRAME_UNLIMITED` toil is important, because this
- *       only allocates a 4096-byte guard page, thus we need the GCC
- *       compile-time checks to ensure some char[8192] vars will not
- *       create an undetectable overflow into another thread's stack
+ *       is automatically protected at the bottom, sized as AT_PAGESZ
  *     Your `flags` may optionally bitwise or any of the following:
  *     - `MAP_ANONYMOUS` in which case `fd` and `off` are ignored
  *     - `MAP_FIXED` in which case `addr` becomes more than a hint
diff --git a/libc/runtime/msync-nt.c b/libc/runtime/msync-nt.c
index 2ff616586..bda786812 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/msync-nt.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/msync-nt.c
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/prot.h"
 
-noasan textwindows int sys_msync_nt(char *addr, size_t size, int flags) {
+dontasan textwindows int sys_msync_nt(char *addr, size_t size, int flags) {
   int i, rc = 0;
   char *a, *b, *x, *y;
   __mmi_lock();
diff --git a/libc/runtime/msync.c b/libc/runtime/msync.c
index a857a6045..a5b0cc91f 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/msync.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/msync.c
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ int msync(void *addr, size_t size, int flags) {
   int rc;
   BEGIN_CANCELLATION_POINT;
 
-  _unassert(((flags & MS_SYNC) ^ (flags & MS_ASYNC)) || !(MS_SYNC && MS_ASYNC));
+  unassert(((flags & MS_SYNC) ^ (flags & MS_ASYNC)) || !(MS_SYNC && MS_ASYNC));
   if (!IsWindows()) {
     rc = sys_msync(addr, size, flags);
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/runtime/munmap.c b/libc/runtime/munmap.c
index 024fe3b3f..9a842d6e0 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/munmap.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/munmap.c
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@
 #define ALIGNED(p) (!(IP(p) & (FRAMESIZE - 1)))
 #define FRAME(x)   ((int)((intptr_t)(x) >> 16))
 
-static noasan void MunmapShadow(char *p, size_t n) {
+static dontasan void MunmapShadow(char *p, size_t n) {
   intptr_t a, b, x, y;
   KERNTRACE("MunmapShadow(%p, %'zu)", p, n);
   a = ((intptr_t)p >> 3) + 0x7fff8000;
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ static noasan void MunmapShadow(char *p, size_t n) {
 // our api supports doing things like munmap(0, 0x7fffffffffff) but some
 // platforms (e.g. openbsd) require that we know the specific intervals
 // or else it returns EINVAL. so we munmap a piecewise.
-static noasan void MunmapImpl(char *p, size_t n) {
+static dontasan void MunmapImpl(char *p, size_t n) {
   char *q;
   size_t m;
   intptr_t a, b, c;
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ static noasan void MunmapImpl(char *p, size_t n) {
     q = (char *)a;
     m = MIN(b, c) - a;
     if (!IsWindows()) {
-      _npassert(!sys_munmap(q, m));
+      npassert(!sys_munmap(q, m));
     } else {
       // Handled by UntrackMemoryIntervals() on Windows
     }
@@ -112,11 +112,11 @@ static noasan void MunmapImpl(char *p, size_t n) {
   }
 }
 
-noasan int _Munmap(char *p, size_t n) {
+dontasan int _Munmap(char *p, size_t n) {
   unsigned i;
   char poison;
   intptr_t a, b, x, y;
-  _unassert(!__vforked);
+  unassert(!__vforked);
   if (UNLIKELY(!n)) {
     STRACE("munmap n is 0");
     return einval();
diff --git a/libc/runtime/printargs.c b/libc/runtime/printargs.c
index 96b2cce8b..d54fde198 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/printargs.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/printargs.c
@@ -63,8 +63,8 @@
 #include "tool/decode/lib/idname.h"
 #include "tool/decode/lib/x86idnames.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror");   // for kprintf()
-STATIC_YOINK("strsignal");  // for kprintf()
+__static_yoink("strerror");   // for kprintf()
+__static_yoink("strsignal");  // for kprintf()
 
 #define PRINT(FMT, ...)               \
   do {                                \
@@ -72,49 +72,6 @@ STATIC_YOINK("strsignal");  // for kprintf()
     kprintf(FMT "\n", ##__VA_ARGS__); \
   } while (0)
 
-static const struct AuxiliaryValue {
-  const char *fmt;
-  long *id;
-  const char *name;
-} kAuxiliaryValues[] = {
-    {"%-14p", &AT_EXECFD, "AT_EXECFD"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_PHDR, "AT_PHDR"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_PHENT, "AT_PHENT"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_PHNUM, "AT_PHNUM"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_PAGESZ, "AT_PAGESZ"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_BASE, "AT_BASE"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_ENTRY, "AT_ENTRY"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_NOTELF, "AT_NOTELF"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_UID, "AT_UID"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_EUID, "AT_EUID"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_GID, "AT_GID"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_EGID, "AT_EGID"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_CLKTCK, "AT_CLKTCK"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_OSRELDATE, "AT_OSRELDATE"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_PLATFORM, "AT_PLATFORM"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_DCACHEBSIZE, "AT_DCACHEBSIZE"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_ICACHEBSIZE, "AT_ICACHEBSIZE"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_UCACHEBSIZE, "AT_UCACHEBSIZE"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_SECURE, "AT_SECURE"},
-    {"%-14s", &AT_BASE_PLATFORM, "AT_BASE_PLATFORM"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_RANDOM, "AT_RANDOM"},
-    {"%-14s", &AT_EXECFN, "AT_EXECFN"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_SYSINFO_EHDR, "AT_SYSINFO_EHDR"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_FLAGS, "AT_FLAGS"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_HWCAP, "AT_HWCAP"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_HWCAP2, "AT_HWCAP2"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_STACKBASE, "AT_STACKBASE"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_CANARY, "AT_CANARY"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_CANARYLEN, "AT_CANARYLEN"},
-    {"%-14ld", &AT_NCPUS, "AT_NCPUS"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_PAGESIZES, "AT_PAGESIZES"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_PAGESIZESLEN, "AT_PAGESIZESLEN"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_TIMEKEEP, "AT_TIMEKEEP"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_STACKPROT, "AT_STACKPROT"},
-    {"%-14p", &AT_EHDRFLAGS, "AT_EHDRFLAGS"},
-    {"%-14d", &AT_MINSIGSTKSZ, "AT_MINSIGSTKSZ"},
-};
-
 static const char *FindNameById(const struct IdName *names, unsigned long id) {
   for (; names->name; names++) {
     if (names->id == id) {
@@ -124,17 +81,7 @@ static const char *FindNameById(const struct IdName *names, unsigned long id) {
   return NULL;
 }
 
-static const struct AuxiliaryValue *DescribeAuxv(unsigned long x) {
-  int i;
-  for (i = 0; i < ARRAYLEN(kAuxiliaryValues); ++i) {
-    if (*kAuxiliaryValues[i].id && x == *kAuxiliaryValues[i].id) {
-      return kAuxiliaryValues + i;
-    }
-  }
-  return NULL;
-}
-
-static noasan void PrintDependencies(const char *prologue) {
+static dontasan void PrintDependencies(const char *prologue) {
   struct NtLinkedList *head = &NtGetPeb()->Ldr->InLoadOrderModuleList;
   struct NtLinkedList *ldr = head->Next;
   do {
@@ -145,7 +92,7 @@ static noasan void PrintDependencies(const char *prologue) {
   } while ((ldr = ldr->Next) && ldr != head);
 }
 
-static noasan void Print(const char *prologue) {
+static dontasan void Print(const char *prologue) {
 }
 
 /**
@@ -158,6 +105,50 @@ static noasan void Print(const char *prologue) {
  * @param prologue needs to be a .rodata kprintf string
  */
 textstartup void __printargs(const char *prologue) {
+
+  const struct AuxiliaryValue {
+    const char *fmt;
+    unsigned long id;
+    const char *name;
+  } kAuxiliaryValues[] = {
+      {"%-14p", AT_EXECFD, "AT_EXECFD"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_PHDR, "AT_PHDR"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_PHENT, "AT_PHENT"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_PHNUM, "AT_PHNUM"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_PAGESZ, "AT_PAGESZ"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_BASE, "AT_BASE"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_ENTRY, "AT_ENTRY"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_NOTELF, "AT_NOTELF"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_UID, "AT_UID"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_EUID, "AT_EUID"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_GID, "AT_GID"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_EGID, "AT_EGID"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_CLKTCK, "AT_CLKTCK"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_OSRELDATE, "AT_OSRELDATE"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_PLATFORM, "AT_PLATFORM"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_DCACHEBSIZE, "AT_DCACHEBSIZE"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_ICACHEBSIZE, "AT_ICACHEBSIZE"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_UCACHEBSIZE, "AT_UCACHEBSIZE"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_SECURE, "AT_SECURE"},
+      {"%-14s", AT_BASE_PLATFORM, "AT_BASE_PLATFORM"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_RANDOM, "AT_RANDOM"},
+      {"%-14s", AT_EXECFN, "AT_EXECFN"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_SYSINFO_EHDR, "AT_SYSINFO_EHDR"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_FLAGS, "AT_FLAGS"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_HWCAP, "AT_HWCAP"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_HWCAP2, "AT_HWCAP2"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_STACKBASE, "AT_STACKBASE"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_CANARY, "AT_CANARY"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_CANARYLEN, "AT_CANARYLEN"},
+      {"%-14ld", AT_NCPUS, "AT_NCPUS"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_PAGESIZES, "AT_PAGESIZES"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_PAGESIZESLEN, "AT_PAGESIZESLEN"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_TIMEKEEP, "AT_TIMEKEEP"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_STACKPROT, "AT_STACKPROT"},
+      {"%-14p", AT_EHDRFLAGS, "AT_EHDRFLAGS"},
+      {"%-14d", AT_MINSIGSTKSZ, "AT_MINSIGSTKSZ"},
+  };
+
   long key;
   char **env;
   sigset_t ss;
@@ -412,7 +403,14 @@ textstartup void __printargs(const char *prologue) {
   if (*__auxv) {
     if (*__auxv) {
       for (auxp = __auxv; *auxp; auxp += 2) {
-        if ((auxinfo = DescribeAuxv(auxp[0]))) {
+        auxinfo = 0;
+        for (i = 0; i < ARRAYLEN(kAuxiliaryValues); ++i) {
+          if (kAuxiliaryValues[i].id && auxp[0] == kAuxiliaryValues[i].id) {
+            auxinfo = kAuxiliaryValues + i;
+            break;
+          }
+        }
+        if (auxinfo) {
           ksnprintf(u.path, sizeof(u.path), auxinfo->fmt, auxp[1]);
           PRINT(" ☼ %16s[%4ld] = %s", auxinfo->name, auxp[0], u.path);
         } else {
diff --git a/libc/runtime/runtime.mk b/libc/runtime/runtime.mk
index 0c73ec109..8c7ce0884 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/runtime.mk
+++ b/libc/runtime/runtime.mk
@@ -130,8 +130,7 @@ o/$(MODE)/libc/runtime/morph_tls.o: private		\
 		CFLAGS +=				\
 			-ffreestanding			\
 			-fno-sanitize=all		\
-			-fno-stack-protector		\
-			-fpatchable-function-entry=0,0
+			-fno-stack-protector
 
 # TODO(jart): We need a way to avoid WinThreadEntry() being hooked.
 o/$(MODE)/libc/runtime/clone.o: private			\
diff --git a/libc/runtime/set_tls.c b/libc/runtime/set_tls.c
index eeb0a4957..29b98e89c 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/set_tls.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/set_tls.c
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ textstartup void __set_tls(struct CosmoTib *tib) {
   int ax, dx;
   if (IsWindows()) {
     __tls_index = TlsAlloc();
-    _npassert(0 <= __tls_index && __tls_index < 64);
+    npassert(0 <= __tls_index && __tls_index < 64);
     asm("mov\t%1,%%gs:%0" : "=m"(*((long *)0x1480 + __tls_index)) : "r"(tib));
   } else if (IsFreebsd()) {
     sys_set_tls(129 /*AMD64_SET_FSBASE*/, tib);
diff --git a/libc/runtime/stack.h b/libc/runtime/stack.h
index 374425ca9..d9d82c25c 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/stack.h
+++ b/libc/runtime/stack.h
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  *
  * If you want to know how much stack your programs needs, then
  *
- *     STATIC_YOINK("stack_usage_logging");
+ *     __static_yoink("stack_usage_logging");
  *
  * will install an atexit() handler that appends to `o/$MODE/stack.log`
  *
@@ -125,7 +125,7 @@ extern char ape_stack_align[] __attribute__((__weak__));
  * Returns true if at least `n` bytes of stack are available.
  */
 #define HaveStackMemory(n) \
-  ((intptr_t)__builtin_frame_address(0) >= GetStackAddr() + APE_GUARDSIZE + (n))
+  ((intptr_t)__builtin_frame_address(0) >= GetStackAddr() + 16384 + (n))
 
 forceinline void CheckLargeStackAllocation(void *p, ssize_t n) {
   for (; n > 0; n -= 4096) {
diff --git a/libc/runtime/stackuse.c b/libc/runtime/stackuse.c
index c7d520b33..606820935 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/stackuse.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/stackuse.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
 
 static char stacklog[1024];
 
-noasan size_t GetStackUsage(char *s, size_t n) {
+dontasan size_t GetStackUsage(char *s, size_t n) {
   // RHEL5 MAP_GROWSDOWN seems to only grow to 68kb :'(
   // So we count non-zero bytes down from the top
   // First clear 64 bytes is considered the end
diff --git a/libc/runtime/untrackmemoryintervals.c b/libc/runtime/untrackmemoryintervals.c
index dfca2efe6..73221926e 100644
--- a/libc/runtime/untrackmemoryintervals.c
+++ b/libc/runtime/untrackmemoryintervals.c
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 
 int UntrackMemoryIntervals(void *addr, size_t size) {
   int a, b;
-  _unassert(size > 0);
+  unassert(size > 0);
   a = ROUNDDOWN((intptr_t)addr, FRAMESIZE) >> 16;
   b = ROUNDDOWN((intptr_t)addr + size - 1, FRAMESIZE) >> 16;
   return ReleaseMemoryIntervals(&_mmi, a, b,
diff --git a/libc/sock/accept4-sysv.c b/libc/sock/accept4-sysv.c
index a1a0c6113..f61d2d9fb 100644
--- a/libc/sock/accept4-sysv.c
+++ b/libc/sock/accept4-sysv.c
@@ -41,14 +41,14 @@ int sys_accept4(int server, struct sockaddr_storage *addr, int flags) {
     if ((client = __sys_accept(server, addr, &size, 0)) != -1) {
       // __sys_accept() has inconsistent flag inheritence across platforms
       // this is one of the issues that accept4() was invented for solving
-      _unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(client, F_GETFD)) != -1);
-      _unassert(!__sys_fcntl(client, F_SETFD,
-                             ((file_mode & ~FD_CLOEXEC) |
-                              (flags & SOCK_CLOEXEC ? FD_CLOEXEC : 0))));
-      _unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(client, F_GETFL)) != -1);
-      _unassert(!__sys_fcntl(client, F_SETFL,
-                             ((file_mode & ~O_NONBLOCK) |
-                              (flags & SOCK_NONBLOCK ? O_NONBLOCK : 0))));
+      unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(client, F_GETFD)) != -1);
+      unassert(!__sys_fcntl(client, F_SETFD,
+                            ((file_mode & ~FD_CLOEXEC) |
+                             (flags & SOCK_CLOEXEC ? FD_CLOEXEC : 0))));
+      unassert((file_mode = __sys_fcntl(client, F_GETFL)) != -1);
+      unassert(!__sys_fcntl(client, F_SETFL,
+                            ((file_mode & ~O_NONBLOCK) |
+                             (flags & SOCK_NONBLOCK ? O_NONBLOCK : 0))));
     }
   }
   return client;
diff --git a/libc/sock/bind-nt.c b/libc/sock/bind-nt.c
index 2add613dc..dfc336bfa 100644
--- a/libc/sock/bind-nt.c
+++ b/libc/sock/bind-nt.c
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
 
 textwindows int sys_bind_nt(struct Fd *fd, const void *addr,
                             uint32_t addrsize) {
-  _npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
+  npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
   if (__sys_bind_nt(fd->handle, addr, addrsize) != -1) {
     return 0;
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/sock/connect-nt.c b/libc/sock/connect-nt.c
index 63fa29a5d..3f81b727c 100644
--- a/libc/sock/connect-nt.c
+++ b/libc/sock/connect-nt.c
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ textwindows int sys_connect_nt(struct Fd *fd, const void *addr,
                                uint32_t addrsize) {
   struct SockFd *sockfd;
   sockfd = (struct SockFd *)fd->extra;
-  _npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
+  npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
   return __winsockblock(
       fd->handle, _bsr(kNtFdConnect),
       WSAConnect(fd->handle, addr, addrsize, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL),
diff --git a/libc/sock/epoll.c b/libc/sock/epoll.c
index 8ab72cc4d..d90db45ba 100644
--- a/libc/sock/epoll.c
+++ b/libc/sock/epoll.c
@@ -383,7 +383,7 @@ static textwindows int afd_poll(int64_t afd_device_handle,
                                 struct NtIoStatusBlock *io_status_block) {
   NtStatus status;
   /* Blocking operation is not supported.*/
-  _npassert(io_status_block);
+  npassert(io_status_block);
   io_status_block->Status = kNtStatusPending;
   status =
       NtDeviceIoControlFile(afd_device_handle, 0, NULL, io_status_block,
@@ -563,7 +563,7 @@ static textwindows int ts_tree_add(struct TsTree *ts_tree,
 }
 
 static textwindows void port__free(struct PortState *port) {
-  _npassert(port);
+  npassert(port);
   free(port);
 }
 
@@ -591,7 +591,7 @@ err1:
 }
 
 static textwindows int sock__cancel_poll(struct SockState *sock_state) {
-  _npassert(sock_state->poll_status == kPollPending);
+  npassert(sock_state->poll_status == kPollPending);
   if (afd_cancel_poll(poll_group_get_afd_device_handle(sock_state->poll_group),
                       &sock_state->io_status_block) < 0) {
     return -1;
@@ -707,13 +707,13 @@ static textwindows void reflock__await_event(void *address) {
 static textwindows void reflock_ref(struct RefLock *reflock) {
   long state = InterlockedAdd(&reflock->state, REFLOCK__REF);
   /* Verify that the counter didn 't overflow and the lock isn' t destroyed.*/
-  _npassert((state & REFLOCK__DESTROY_MASK) == 0);
+  npassert((state & REFLOCK__DESTROY_MASK) == 0);
 }
 
 static textwindows void reflock_unref(struct RefLock *reflock) {
   long state = InterlockedAdd(&reflock->state, -REFLOCK__REF);
   /* Verify that the lock was referenced and not already destroyed.*/
-  _npassert((state & REFLOCK__DESTROY_MASK & ~REFLOCK__DESTROY) == 0);
+  npassert((state & REFLOCK__DESTROY_MASK & ~REFLOCK__DESTROY) == 0);
   if (state == REFLOCK__DESTROY) reflock__signal_event(reflock);
 }
 
@@ -749,10 +749,10 @@ static textwindows void reflock_unref_and_destroy(struct RefLock *reflock) {
   state = InterlockedAdd(&reflock->state, REFLOCK__DESTROY - REFLOCK__REF);
   ref_count = state & REFLOCK__REF_MASK;
   /* Verify that the lock was referenced and not already destroyed. */
-  _npassert((state & REFLOCK__DESTROY_MASK) == REFLOCK__DESTROY);
+  npassert((state & REFLOCK__DESTROY_MASK) == REFLOCK__DESTROY);
   if (ref_count != 0) reflock__await_event(reflock);
   state = InterlockedExchange(&reflock->state, REFLOCK__POISON);
-  _npassert(state == REFLOCK__DESTROY);
+  npassert(state == REFLOCK__DESTROY);
 }
 
 static textwindows void ts_tree_node_unref_and_destroy(
@@ -780,13 +780,13 @@ static textwindows void poll_group_release(struct PollGroup *poll_group) {
   struct PortState *port_state = poll_group->port_state;
   struct Queue *poll_group_queue = port_get_poll_group_queue(port_state);
   poll_group->group_size--;
-  _npassert(poll_group->group_size < MAX_GROUP_SIZE);
+  npassert(poll_group->group_size < MAX_GROUP_SIZE);
   queue_move_to_end(poll_group_queue, &poll_group->queue_node);
   /* Poll groups are currently only freed when the epoll port is closed. */
 }
 
 static textwindows void sock__free(struct SockState *sock_state) {
-  _npassert(sock_state != NULL);
+  npassert(sock_state != NULL);
   free(sock_state);
 }
 
@@ -832,7 +832,7 @@ static textwindows void sock_force_delete(struct PortState *port_state,
 }
 
 static textwindows void poll_group_delete(struct PollGroup *poll_group) {
-  _npassert(poll_group->group_size == 0);
+  npassert(poll_group->group_size == 0);
   CloseHandle(poll_group->afd_device_handle);
   queue_remove(&poll_group->queue_node);
   free(poll_group);
@@ -844,7 +844,7 @@ static textwindows int port_delete(struct PortState *port_state) {
   struct SockState *sock_state;
   struct PollGroup *poll_group;
   /* At this point the IOCP port should have been closed.*/
-  _npassert(!port_state->iocp_handle);
+  npassert(!port_state->iocp_handle);
   while ((tree_node = tree_root(&port_state->sock_tree)) != NULL) {
     sock_state = sock_state_from_tree_node(tree_node);
     sock_force_delete(port_state, sock_state);
@@ -857,14 +857,14 @@ static textwindows int port_delete(struct PortState *port_state) {
     poll_group = poll_group_from_queue_node(queue_node);
     poll_group_delete(poll_group);
   }
-  _npassert(queue_is_empty(&port_state->sock_update_queue));
+  npassert(queue_is_empty(&port_state->sock_update_queue));
   DeleteCriticalSection(&port_state->lock);
   port__free(port_state);
   return 0;
 }
 
 static textwindows int64_t port_get_iocp_handle(struct PortState *port_state) {
-  _npassert(port_state->iocp_handle);
+  npassert(port_state->iocp_handle);
   return port_state->iocp_handle;
 }
 
@@ -938,7 +938,7 @@ static textwindows uint32_t sock__afd_events_to_epoll_events(uint32_t a) {
 
 static textwindows int sock_update(struct PortState *port_state,
                                    struct SockState *sock_state) {
-  _npassert(!sock_state->delete_pending);
+  npassert(!sock_state->delete_pending);
   if ((sock_state->poll_status == kPollPending) &&
       !(sock_state->user_events & KNOWN_EVENTS & ~sock_state->pending_events)) {
     /* All the events the user is interested in are already being
diff --git a/libc/sock/getsockopt-nt.c b/libc/sock/getsockopt-nt.c
index d85115b04..caa43f98b 100644
--- a/libc/sock/getsockopt-nt.c
+++ b/libc/sock/getsockopt-nt.c
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ textwindows int sys_getsockopt_nt(struct Fd *fd, int level, int optname,
   uint32_t in_optlen;
   struct SockFd *sockfd;
   struct linger_nt linger;
-  _npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
+  npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
   sockfd = (struct SockFd *)fd->extra;
 
   if (out_opt_optval && inout_optlen) {
diff --git a/libc/sock/kntwsadata.c b/libc/sock/kntwsadata.c
index fce9b568f..aca43955d 100644
--- a/libc/sock/kntwsadata.c
+++ b/libc/sock/kntwsadata.c
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@
 /**
  * Information about underlying Windows Sockets implementation.
  *
- * Cosmopolitan automatically calls YOINK() on this symbol when its
+ * Cosmopolitan automatically calls __yoink() on this symbol when its
  * Berkeley Socket wrappers are linked. The latest version of Winsock
  * was introduced alongside x64, so this should never fail.
  */
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ static textwindows void WinSockCleanup(void) {
   NTTRACE("WSACleanup() → %d% lm", rc);
 }
 
-textwindows noasan void WinSockInit(void) {
+textwindows dontasan void WinSockInit(void) {
   int rc;
   atexit(WinSockCleanup);
   NTTRACE("WSAStartup()");
diff --git a/libc/sock/listen-nt.c b/libc/sock/listen-nt.c
index c899f97ef..38c9d3b23 100644
--- a/libc/sock/listen-nt.c
+++ b/libc/sock/listen-nt.c
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@
 #include "libc/sock/syscall_fd.internal.h"
 
 textwindows int sys_listen_nt(struct Fd *fd, int backlog) {
-  _npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
+  npassert(fd->kind == kFdSocket);
   if (__sys_listen_nt(fd->handle, backlog) != -1) {
     return 0;
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/sock/nointernet.c b/libc/sock/nointernet.c
index ce9ac094d..887ac19ca 100644
--- a/libc/sock/nointernet.c
+++ b/libc/sock/nointernet.c
@@ -323,7 +323,7 @@ int nointernet(void) {
     sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, &old, 0);
     return eperm();
   }
-  _npassert(WIFSTOPPED(ws));
+  npassert(WIFSTOPPED(ws));
 
   // parent process becomes monitor of subprocess tree. all signals
   // continue to be blocked since we assume they'll also be sent to
diff --git a/libc/sock/recv-nt.c b/libc/sock/recv-nt.c
index 619383335..86e8c8806 100644
--- a/libc/sock/recv-nt.c
+++ b/libc/sock/recv-nt.c
@@ -49,6 +49,6 @@ textwindows ssize_t sys_recv_nt(struct Fd *fd, const struct iovec *iov,
     sockfd = (struct SockFd *)fd->extra;
     rc = __wsablock(fd, &overlapped, &flags, true, sockfd->rcvtimeo);
   }
-  _unassert(WSACloseEvent(overlapped.hEvent));
+  unassert(WSACloseEvent(overlapped.hEvent));
   return rc;
 }
diff --git a/libc/sock/sendfile.c b/libc/sock/sendfile.c
index de45a3077..1edc8eede 100644
--- a/libc/sock/sendfile.c
+++ b/libc/sock/sendfile.c
@@ -110,9 +110,9 @@ static dontinline textwindows ssize_t sys_sendfile_nt(
   if (rc != -1) {
     if (opt_in_out_inoffset) {
       *opt_in_out_inoffset = offset + rc;
-      _npassert(SetFilePointerEx(ih, pos, 0, SEEK_SET));
+      npassert(SetFilePointerEx(ih, pos, 0, SEEK_SET));
     } else {
-      _npassert(SetFilePointerEx(ih, offset + rc, 0, SEEK_SET));
+      npassert(SetFilePointerEx(ih, offset + rc, 0, SEEK_SET));
     }
   }
   WSACloseEvent(ov.hEvent);
@@ -141,7 +141,7 @@ static ssize_t sys_sendfile_bsd(int outfd, int infd,
     if (opt_in_out_inoffset) {
       *opt_in_out_inoffset += sbytes;
     } else {
-      _npassert(lseek(infd, offset + sbytes, SEEK_SET) == offset + sbytes);
+      npassert(lseek(infd, offset + sbytes, SEEK_SET) == offset + sbytes);
     }
     return sbytes;
   } else {
diff --git a/libc/sock/socket-nt.c b/libc/sock/socket-nt.c
index 5e9874b1a..977a37db8 100644
--- a/libc/sock/socket-nt.c
+++ b/libc/sock/socket-nt.c
@@ -35,9 +35,9 @@
  * functions through weak reference. This ensure those symbols are not
  * stripped during final link.
  */
-STATIC_YOINK("GetAdaptersAddresses");
-STATIC_YOINK("tprecode16to8");
-STATIC_YOINK("_dupsockfd");
+__static_yoink("GetAdaptersAddresses");
+__static_yoink("tprecode16to8");
+__static_yoink("_dupsockfd");
 
 textwindows int sys_socket_nt(int family, int type, int protocol) {
   int64_t h;
diff --git a/libc/sock/wsablock.c b/libc/sock/wsablock.c
index a60c79072..e343ff0f6 100644
--- a/libc/sock/wsablock.c
+++ b/libc/sock/wsablock.c
@@ -47,8 +47,8 @@ textwindows int __wsablock(struct Fd *fd, struct NtOverlapped *overlapped,
   }
   if (fd->flags & O_NONBLOCK) {
     e = errno;
-    _unassert(CancelIoEx(fd->handle, overlapped) ||
-              WSAGetLastError() == kNtErrorNotFound);
+    unassert(CancelIoEx(fd->handle, overlapped) ||
+             WSAGetLastError() == kNtErrorNotFound);
     errno = e;
   } else {
     if (_check_interrupts(restartable, g_fds.p)) {
diff --git a/libc/sock/yoink.inc b/libc/sock/yoink.inc
index 4a210880d..e80415948 100644
--- a/libc/sock/yoink.inc
+++ b/libc/sock/yoink.inc
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
-STATIC_YOINK("kNtWsaData");          // for winmain
-STATIC_YOINK("WSAGetLastError");     // for kprintf
-STATIC_YOINK("sys_closesocket_nt");  // for close
-STATIC_YOINK("sys_recv_nt");         // for readv
-STATIC_YOINK("sys_send_nt");         // for writev
+__static_yoink("kNtWsaData");          // for winmain
+__static_yoink("WSAGetLastError");     // for kprintf
+__static_yoink("sys_closesocket_nt");  // for close
+__static_yoink("sys_recv_nt");         // for readv
+__static_yoink("sys_send_nt");         // for writev
diff --git a/libc/stdio/appendd.c b/libc/stdio/appendd.c
index 31cde43d5..219c9c447 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/appendd.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/appendd.c
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ ssize_t appendd(char **b, const void *s, size_t l) {
     z.n = ROUNDUP(z.n, W);
     if ((p = realloc(p, z.n))) {
       z.n = malloc_usable_size(p);
-      _unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
+      unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
       *b = p;
     } else {
       return -1;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/appendr.c b/libc/stdio/appendr.c
index 13128f920..5e5cf52a2 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/appendr.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/appendr.c
@@ -51,14 +51,14 @@ ssize_t appendr(char **b, size_t i) {
   char *p;
   size_t n;
   struct appendz z;
-  _unassert(b);
+  unassert(b);
   z = appendz((p = *b));
   if (i != z.i || !p) {
     n = ROUNDUP(i + 1, 8) + W;
     if (n > z.n || _bsrl(n) < _bsrl(z.n)) {
       if ((p = realloc(p, n))) {
         z.n = malloc_usable_size(p);
-        _unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
+        unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
         *b = p;
       } else {
         return -1;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/appendw.c b/libc/stdio/appendw.c
index c13db27f8..3c765b772 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/appendw.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/appendw.c
@@ -67,7 +67,7 @@ ssize_t appendw(char **b, uint64_t w) {
     z.n = ROUNDUP(z.n, W);
     if ((p = realloc(p, z.n))) {
       z.n = malloc_usable_size(p);
-      _unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
+      unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
       *b = p;
     } else {
       return -1;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/appendz.c b/libc/stdio/appendz.c
index 936908a28..a71a6142f 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/appendz.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/appendz.c
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ struct appendz appendz(char *p) {
   struct appendz z;
   if (p) {
     z.n = malloc_usable_size(p);
-    _unassert(z.n >= W * 2 && !(z.n & (W - 1)));
+    unassert(z.n >= W * 2 && !(z.n & (W - 1)));
     z.i = *(size_t *)(p + z.n - W);
     if (!IsTiny() && W == 8) {
       /*
@@ -43,10 +43,10 @@ struct appendz appendz(char *p) {
        * can be free()'d safely, but they need to be allocated by the
        * append library, because we write a special value to the end.
        */
-      _unassert((z.i >> 48) == APPEND_COOKIE);
+      unassert((z.i >> 48) == APPEND_COOKIE);
       z.i &= 0x0000ffffffffffff;
     }
-    _unassert(z.n >= z.i);
+    unassert(z.n >= z.i);
   } else {
     z.i = 0;
     z.n = 0;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/dirstream.c b/libc/stdio/dirstream.c
index 397ef1692..9c3bd2388 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/dirstream.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/dirstream.c
@@ -347,8 +347,8 @@ static struct dirent *readdir_impl(DIR *dir) {
     ent = 0;
     zip = _weaken(__zipos_get)();
     while (!ent && dir->tell < dir->zip.records) {
-      _npassert(ZIP_CFILE_MAGIC(zip->map + dir->zip.offset) ==
-                kZipCfileHdrMagic);
+      npassert(ZIP_CFILE_MAGIC(zip->map + dir->zip.offset) ==
+               kZipCfileHdrMagic);
       s = ZIP_CFILE_NAME(zip->map + dir->zip.offset);
       n = ZIP_CFILE_NAMESIZE(zip->map + dir->zip.offset);
       if (dir->zip.prefixlen < n &&
diff --git a/libc/stdio/fmt.c b/libc/stdio/fmt.c
index d6a2e392d..a9697f05b 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/fmt.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/fmt.c
@@ -270,7 +270,7 @@ static int __fmt_ntoa2(int out(const char *, void *, size_t), void *arg,
       }
       buf[len++] = alphabet[digit];
     } while (value);
-    _npassert(count <= BUFFER_SIZE);
+    npassert(count <= BUFFER_SIZE);
   }
   return __fmt_ntoa_format(out, arg, buf, len, neg, log2base, prec, width,
                            flags, alphabet);
diff --git a/libc/stdio/getrandom.c b/libc/stdio/getrandom.c
index 2532d8aac..4e93be046 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/getrandom.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/getrandom.c
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/errfuns.h"
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("rdrand_init");
+__static_yoink("rdrand_init");
 
 int sys_getentropy(void *, size_t) asm("sys_getrandom");
 
@@ -128,7 +128,7 @@ static ssize_t GetRandomMetal(char *p, size_t n, int f) {
 }
 
 static void GetRandomEntropy(char *p, size_t n) {
-  _unassert(n <= 256);
+  unassert(n <= 256);
   if (sys_getentropy(p, n)) notpossible;
 }
 
@@ -137,7 +137,7 @@ static void GetRandomArnd(char *p, size_t n) {
   int cmd[2];
   cmd[0] = 1;                      // CTL_KERN
   cmd[1] = IsFreebsd() ? 37 : 81;  // KERN_ARND
-  _unassert((m = n) <= 256);
+  unassert((m = n) <= 256);
   if (sys_sysctl(cmd, 2, p, &n, 0, 0) == -1) notpossible;
   if (m != n) notpossible;
 }
diff --git a/libc/stdio/kvappendf.c b/libc/stdio/kvappendf.c
index b0fc5dce5..df265fd73 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/kvappendf.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/kvappendf.c
@@ -51,9 +51,9 @@ ssize_t kvappendf(char **b, const char *f, va_list v) {
       z.n = ROUNDUP(z.n, W);
       if ((p = realloc(p, z.n))) {
         z.n = malloc_usable_size(p);
-        _unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
+        unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
         s = kvsnprintf(p + z.i, z.n - W - z.i, f, w);
-        _unassert(s == r);
+        unassert(s == r);
         *b = p;
       } else {
         va_end(w);
diff --git a/libc/stdio/mkostempsm.c b/libc/stdio/mkostempsm.c
index 61c58f437..aed32cffe 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/mkostempsm.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/mkostempsm.c
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ int mkostempsmi(char *tpl, int slen, unsigned flags, uint64_t *rando, int mode,
   size_t wildlen = strlen(WILDCARD);
   if (len < wildlen || slen > len - wildlen) return einval();
   char *ss = tpl + len - wildlen - slen;
-  _npassert(memcmp(ss, WILDCARD, wildlen) == 0);
+  npassert(memcmp(ss, WILDCARD, wildlen) == 0);
   flags = (flags & ~(flags & O_ACCMODE)) | O_RDWR | O_CREAT | O_EXCL;
   unsigned attempts = ATTEMPTS;
   do {
diff --git a/libc/stdio/popen.c b/libc/stdio/popen.c
index 6d86497fa..b848d3903 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/popen.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/popen.c
@@ -73,26 +73,26 @@ FILE *popen(const char *cmdline, const char *mode) {
   if ((f = fdopen(pipefds[dir], mode))) {
     switch ((pid = fork())) {
       case 0:
-        _unassert(dup2(pipefds[!dir], !dir) == !dir);
+        unassert(dup2(pipefds[!dir], !dir) == !dir);
         // we can't rely on cloexec because cocmd builtins don't execve
-        if (pipefds[0] != !dir) _unassert(!close(pipefds[0]));
-        if (pipefds[1] != !dir) _unassert(!close(pipefds[1]));
+        if (pipefds[0] != !dir) unassert(!close(pipefds[0]));
+        if (pipefds[1] != !dir) unassert(!close(pipefds[1]));
         _Exit(_cocmd(3, (char *[]){"popen", "-c", cmdline, 0}, environ));
       default:
         f->pid = pid;
-        _unassert(!close(pipefds[!dir]));
+        unassert(!close(pipefds[!dir]));
         return f;
       case -1:
         e = errno;
-        _unassert(!fclose(f));
-        _unassert(!close(pipefds[!dir]));
+        unassert(!fclose(f));
+        unassert(!close(pipefds[!dir]));
         errno = e;
         return NULL;
     }
   } else {
     e = errno;
-    _unassert(!close(pipefds[0]));
-    _unassert(!close(pipefds[1]));
+    unassert(!close(pipefds[0]));
+    unassert(!close(pipefds[1]));
     errno = e;
     return NULL;
   }
diff --git a/libc/stdio/posix_spawnattr.c b/libc/stdio/posix_spawnattr.c
index 622c2f1ca..7b2763135 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/posix_spawnattr.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/posix_spawnattr.c
@@ -217,7 +217,7 @@ int posix_spawnattr_getsigmask(const posix_spawnattr_t *attr,
                                sigset_t *sigmask) {
   struct _posix_spawna *a = *(/*unconst*/ posix_spawnattr_t *)attr;
   if (!a->sigmask_isset) {
-    _npassert(!sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, 0, &a->sigmask));
+    npassert(!sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, 0, &a->sigmask));
     a->sigmask_isset = true;
   }
   *sigmask = a->sigmask;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/rdrand.c b/libc/stdio/rdrand.c
index d55fa10fb..60079b8fb 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/rdrand.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/rdrand.c
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@
 #include "libc/stdio/rand.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/grnd.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("rdrand_init");
+__static_yoink("rdrand_init");
 
 static dontinline uint64_t rdrand_failover(void) {
   int f;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/rngset.c b/libc/stdio/rngset.c
index b9317d20f..601a1d92e 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/rngset.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/rngset.c
@@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
  *
  * @return original buf
  */
-noasan void *rngset(void *b, size_t n, uint64_t seed(void), size_t reseed) {
+dontasan void *rngset(void *b, size_t n, uint64_t seed(void), size_t reseed) {
   size_t m;
   uint64_t i, x, t = 0;
   unsigned char *p = b;
diff --git a/libc/stdio/vappendf.c b/libc/stdio/vappendf.c
index a8ac2873b..492e0d676 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/vappendf.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/vappendf.c
@@ -44,9 +44,9 @@ ssize_t(vappendf)(char **b, const char *f, va_list v) {
       z.n = ROUNDUP(z.n, W);
       if ((p = realloc(p, z.n))) {
         z.n = malloc_usable_size(p);
-        _unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
+        unassert(!(z.n & (W - 1)));
         s = (vsnprintf)(p + z.i, z.n - W - z.i, f, w);
-        _unassert(s == r);
+        unassert(s == r);
         *b = p;
       } else {
         va_end(w);
diff --git a/libc/stdio/vasprintf.c b/libc/stdio/vasprintf.c
index a4d5a9f0f..cba7ae3b7 100644
--- a/libc/stdio/vasprintf.c
+++ b/libc/stdio/vasprintf.c
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@ int vasprintf(char **strp, const char *fmt, va_list va) {
       if ((p2 = realloc(p, size))) {
         p = p2;
         wrote = vsnprintf(p, size, fmt, vb);
-        _unassert(wrote == size - 1);
+        unassert(wrote == size - 1);
         rc = wrote;
       }
     }
diff --git a/libc/str/blake2.c b/libc/str/blake2.c
index 815c3691f..26285aad6 100644
--- a/libc/str/blake2.c
+++ b/libc/str/blake2.c
@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ int BLAKE2B256_Update(struct Blake2b *b2b, const void *in_data, size_t len) {
     return 0;
   }
   // More input remains therefore we must have filled |b2b->block|.
-  _unassert(b2b->block_used == BLAKE2B_CBLOCK);
+  unassert(b2b->block_used == BLAKE2B_CBLOCK);
   Blake2bTransform(b2b, b2b->block.words, BLAKE2B_CBLOCK,
                    /*is_final_block=*/0);
   b2b->block_used = 0;
diff --git a/libc/str/getcachesize.c b/libc/str/getcachesize.c
index 769f66a9a..96eda56e5 100644
--- a/libc/str/getcachesize.c
+++ b/libc/str/getcachesize.c
@@ -52,8 +52,8 @@ static unsigned _getcachesize_cpuid4(int type, int level) {
  * @return size in bytes, or 0 if unknown
  */
 unsigned _getcachesize(int type, int level) {
-  _unassert(1 <= type && type <= 3);
-  _unassert(level >= 1);
+  unassert(1 <= type && type <= 3);
+  unassert(level >= 1);
   return _getcachesize_cpuid4(type, level);
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/str/isutf8.c b/libc/str/isutf8.c
index 3c18af493..28b84e58a 100644
--- a/libc/str/isutf8.c
+++ b/libc/str/isutf8.c
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ static const char kUtf8Dispatch[] = {
  *
  * @param size if -1 implies strlen
  */
-noasan bool _isutf8(const void *data, size_t size) {
+dontasan bool _isutf8(const void *data, size_t size) {
   long c;
   unsigned m;
   const char *p, *e;
diff --git a/libc/str/memmem.c b/libc/str/memmem.c
index 97b993431..c597ef79c 100644
--- a/libc/str/memmem.c
+++ b/libc/str/memmem.c
@@ -32,8 +32,8 @@ typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @param needlelen is its character count
  * @return pointer to first result or NULL if not found
  */
-noasan void *memmem(const void *haystack, size_t haystacklen,
-                    const void *needle, size_t needlelen) {
+dontasan void *memmem(const void *haystack, size_t haystacklen,
+                      const void *needle, size_t needlelen) {
 #ifdef __x86_64__
   char c;
   xmm_t n, *v;
diff --git a/libc/str/memrchr16.c b/libc/str/memrchr16.c
index f62335d5d..4d52aff18 100644
--- a/libc/str/memrchr16.c
+++ b/libc/str/memrchr16.c
@@ -35,8 +35,8 @@ static inline const char16_t *memrchr16_pure(const char16_t *s, char16_t c,
 }
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-noasan static inline const char16_t *memrchr16_sse(const char16_t *s,
-                                                   char16_t c, size_t n) {
+dontasan static inline const char16_t *memrchr16_sse(const char16_t *s,
+                                                     char16_t c, size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   unsigned k, m;
   xmm_t v, t = {c, c, c, c, c, c, c, c};
diff --git a/libc/str/rawmemchr.c b/libc/str/rawmemchr.c
index 085c58802..271c355b8 100644
--- a/libc/str/rawmemchr.c
+++ b/libc/str/rawmemchr.c
@@ -33,7 +33,8 @@ static inline const unsigned char *rawmemchr_pure(const unsigned char *s,
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
-noasan static inline const char *rawmemchr_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
+dontasan static inline const char *rawmemchr_sse(const char *s,
+                                                 unsigned char c) {
   unsigned k;
   unsigned m;
   xmm_t v, *p;
@@ -53,7 +54,7 @@ noasan static inline const char *rawmemchr_sse(const char *s, unsigned char c) {
 }
 #endif
 
-static inline noasan uint64_t UncheckedAlignedRead64(unsigned char *p) {
+static inline dontasan uint64_t UncheckedAlignedRead64(unsigned char *p) {
   return (uint64_t)p[7] << 070 | (uint64_t)p[6] << 060 | (uint64_t)p[5] << 050 |
          (uint64_t)p[4] << 040 | (uint64_t)p[3] << 030 | (uint64_t)p[2] << 020 |
          (uint64_t)p[1] << 010 | (uint64_t)p[0] << 000;
diff --git a/libc/str/strcasecmp.c b/libc/str/strcasecmp.c
index 219f2c730..0878aed5c 100644
--- a/libc/str/strcasecmp.c
+++ b/libc/str/strcasecmp.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
  * @return is <0, 0, or >0 based on tolower(uint8_t) comparison
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan int strcasecmp(const char *a, const char *b) {
+dontasan int strcasecmp(const char *a, const char *b) {
   int x, y;
   size_t i = 0;
   uint64_t v, w, d;
diff --git a/libc/str/strcasestr.c b/libc/str/strcasestr.c
index ff8411f78..15b0666b2 100644
--- a/libc/str/strcasestr.c
+++ b/libc/str/strcasestr.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  * @see strstr()
  */
-noasan char *strcasestr(const char *haystack, const char *needle) {
+dontasan char *strcasestr(const char *haystack, const char *needle) {
 #ifdef __x86_64__
   char c;
   xmm_t *p;
diff --git a/libc/str/strlen16.c b/libc/str/strlen16.c
index 1ea52b8d0..2fb5ab89e 100644
--- a/libc/str/strlen16.c
+++ b/libc/str/strlen16.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ typedef char16_t xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @return number of shorts (excluding NUL)
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan size_t strlen16(const char16_t *s) {
+dontasan size_t strlen16(const char16_t *s) {
 #ifdef __x86_64__
   size_t n;
   xmm_t z = {0};
diff --git a/libc/str/strnlen16.c b/libc/str/strnlen16.c
index 4e59b1c0c..19a2b4e33 100644
--- a/libc/str/strnlen16.c
+++ b/libc/str/strnlen16.c
@@ -27,11 +27,11 @@
  * @return number of shorts
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan size_t strnlen16(const char16_t *s, size_t n) {
+dontasan size_t strnlen16(const char16_t *s, size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   for (i = 0;; ++i) {
     if (i == n || !s[i]) break;
   }
-  _unassert(i == n || (i < n && !s[i]));
+  unassert(i == n || (i < n && !s[i]));
   return i;
 }
diff --git a/libc/str/strnlen_s.c b/libc/str/strnlen_s.c
index d04084ea9..92c5ed5a3 100644
--- a/libc/str/strnlen_s.c
+++ b/libc/str/strnlen_s.c
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 #include "libc/intrin/asan.internal.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 
-static noasan size_t strnlen_s_x64(const char *s, size_t n, size_t i) {
+static dontasan size_t strnlen_s_x64(const char *s, size_t n, size_t i) {
   uint64_t w;
   for (; i + 8 < n; i += 8) {
     w = *(uint64_t *)(s + i);
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ static noasan size_t strnlen_s_x64(const char *s, size_t n, size_t i) {
  * @return byte length
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan size_t strnlen_s(const char *s, size_t n) {
+dontasan size_t strnlen_s(const char *s, size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   if (!s) return 0;
   if (IsAsan()) __asan_verify(s, n);
@@ -56,6 +56,6 @@ noasan size_t strnlen_s(const char *s, size_t n) {
   for (;; ++i) {
     if (i == n || !s[i]) break;
   }
-  _unassert(i == n || (i < n && !s[i]));
+  unassert(i == n || (i < n && !s[i]));
   return i;
 }
diff --git a/libc/str/strstr.c b/libc/str/strstr.c
index b0de4ea9e..19cb585a0 100644
--- a/libc/str/strstr.c
+++ b/libc/str/strstr.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ typedef char xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @see strcasestr()
  * @see memmem()
  */
-noasan char *strstr(const char *haystack, const char *needle) {
+dontasan char *strstr(const char *haystack, const char *needle) {
 #ifdef __x86_64__
   xmm_t *p;
   size_t i;
diff --git a/libc/str/strxfrm.c b/libc/str/strxfrm.c
index ff665250f..e50661fb9 100644
--- a/libc/str/strxfrm.c
+++ b/libc/str/strxfrm.c
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@
  * @note if dest is NULL, count has to be zero
  */
 size_t strxfrm(char *dest, const char *src, size_t count) {
-  _unassert(dest == NULL ? count == 0 : 1);
+  unassert(dest == NULL ? count == 0 : 1);
   return strlcpy(dest, src, count);
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/str/timingsafe_bcmp.c b/libc/str/timingsafe_bcmp.c
index f64fda30d..82e54b5ea 100644
--- a/libc/str/timingsafe_bcmp.c
+++ b/libc/str/timingsafe_bcmp.c
@@ -24,8 +24,8 @@
 
 typedef uint64_t xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(1)));
 
-noasan static unsigned timingsafe_bcmp_sse(const char *p, const char *q,
-                                           size_t n) {
+dontasan static unsigned timingsafe_bcmp_sse(const char *p, const char *q,
+                                             size_t n) {
   uint64_t w;
   xmm_t a = {0};
   while (n > 16 + 16) {
@@ -41,9 +41,9 @@ noasan static unsigned timingsafe_bcmp_sse(const char *p, const char *q,
 }
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-noasan static _Microarchitecture("avx") int timingsafe_bcmp_avx(const char *p,
-                                                                const char *q,
-                                                                size_t n) {
+dontasan static _Microarchitecture("avx") int timingsafe_bcmp_avx(const char *p,
+                                                                  const char *q,
+                                                                  size_t n) {
   uint64_t w;
   xmm_t a = {0};
   if (n > 32) {
diff --git a/libc/str/tprecode16to8.c b/libc/str/tprecode16to8.c
index 6708788ec..424ff7212 100644
--- a/libc/str/tprecode16to8.c
+++ b/libc/str/tprecode16to8.c
@@ -27,8 +27,8 @@
 static const int16_t kDel16[8] = {127, 127, 127, 127, 127, 127, 127, 127};
 
 /* 10x speedup for ascii */
-static noasan axdx_t tprecode16to8_sse2(char *dst, size_t dstsize,
-                                        const char16_t *src, axdx_t r) {
+static dontasan axdx_t tprecode16to8_sse2(char *dst, size_t dstsize,
+                                          const char16_t *src, axdx_t r) {
   int16_t v1[8], v2[8], v3[8], vz[8];
   memset(vz, 0, 16);
   while (r.ax + 8 < dstsize) {
diff --git a/libc/str/tprecode8to16.c b/libc/str/tprecode8to16.c
index a4f6bc9c1..4dd15b28f 100644
--- a/libc/str/tprecode8to16.c
+++ b/libc/str/tprecode8to16.c
@@ -25,8 +25,8 @@
 #include "libc/str/utf16.h"
 
 /* 34x speedup for ascii */
-static inline noasan axdx_t tprecode8to16_sse2(char16_t *dst, size_t dstsize,
-                                               const char *src, axdx_t r) {
+static inline dontasan axdx_t tprecode8to16_sse2(char16_t *dst, size_t dstsize,
+                                                 const char *src, axdx_t r) {
   uint8_t v1[16], v2[16], vz[16];
   memset(vz, 0, 16);
   while (r.ax + 16 < dstsize) {
diff --git a/libc/str/wcslen.c b/libc/str/wcslen.c
index 1d4d17c0e..ecea304cf 100644
--- a/libc/str/wcslen.c
+++ b/libc/str/wcslen.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ typedef wchar_t xmm_t __attribute__((__vector_size__(16), __aligned__(16)));
  * @return number of wide characters (excluding NUL)
  * @asyncsignalsafe
  */
-noasan size_t wcslen(const wchar_t *s) {
+dontasan size_t wcslen(const wchar_t *s) {
 #ifdef __x86_64__
   size_t n;
   xmm_t z = {0};
diff --git a/libc/str/wmemrchr.c b/libc/str/wmemrchr.c
index e9e0519a8..ab9805c6e 100644
--- a/libc/str/wmemrchr.c
+++ b/libc/str/wmemrchr.c
@@ -36,8 +36,8 @@ static inline const wchar_t *wmemrchr_pure(const wchar_t *s, wchar_t c,
 }
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-noasan static inline const wchar_t *wmemrchr_sse(const wchar_t *s, wchar_t c,
-                                                 size_t n) {
+dontasan static inline const wchar_t *wmemrchr_sse(const wchar_t *s, wchar_t c,
+                                                   size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   unsigned k, m;
   xmm_t v, t = {c, c, c, c};
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts.sh b/libc/sysv/consts.sh
index e97fc36b3..e2d66a494 100755
--- a/libc/sysv/consts.sh
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts.sh
@@ -416,39 +416,31 @@ syscon	utime	UTIME_NOW				0x3fffffff		0x3fffffff		-1			-1			-1			-2			0x3fffffff
 syscon	utime	UTIME_OMIT				0x3ffffffe		0x3ffffffe		-2			-2			-2			-1			0x3ffffffe		-1			# timespec::tv_nsec may be this; polyfilled xnu/nt
 
 #	getauxval() keys
-#
-#	Unsupported values are encoded as 0.
+#	libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h
 #
 #	group	name					GNU/Systemd		GNU/Systemd (Aarch64)	XNU's Not UNIX!		MacOS (Arm64)		FreeBSD			OpenBSD			NetBSD			The New Technology	Commentary
-syscon	auxv	AT_EXECFD				2			2			0			0			2			0			2			0			# file descriptor of program
-syscon	auxv	AT_PHDR					3			3			3			3			3			0			3			0			# address of program headers of executable
-syscon	auxv	AT_PHENT				4			4			4			4			4			0			4			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_PHNUM				5			5			5			5			5			0			5			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_PAGESZ				6			6			6			6			6			0			6			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_BASE					7			7			7			7			7			0			7			0			# address of program interpreter
-syscon	auxv	AT_FLAGS				8			8			0			0			8			0			8			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_ENTRY				9			9			9			9			9			0			9			0			# entry address of executable
-syscon	auxv	AT_NOTELF				10			10			0			0			10			0			0			0
+syscon	auxv	AT_EXECFN				31			31			31			31			15			31			2014			31			# address of string containing first argument passed to execve() used when running program; AT_EXECPATH on FreeBSD
+syscon	auxv	AT_SECURE				23			23			23			23			0			23			0			23
+syscon	auxv	AT_RANDOM				25			25			25			25			16			25			0			25			# address of sixteen bytes of random data; AT_CANARY on FreeBSD whose AT_CANARYLEN should be 64
+syscon	auxv	AT_HWCAP				16			16			16			16			0			16			0			16
+syscon	auxv	AT_HWCAP2				26			26			26			26			0			26			0			26
+syscon	auxv	AT_UID					11			11			11			11			0			11			2001			11
+syscon	auxv	AT_EUID					12			12			12			12			0			12			2000			12
+syscon	auxv	AT_GID					13			13			13			13			0			13			2003			13
+syscon	auxv	AT_EGID					14			14			14			14			0			14			2002			14
+syscon	auxv	AT_EXECFD				2			2			0			0			2			2			2			2			# file descriptor of program
+syscon	auxv	AT_NOTELF				10			10			0			0			10			10			0			10
 syscon	auxv	AT_OSRELDATE				0			0			0			0			18			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_UID					11			11			11			11			0			0			2001			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_EUID					12			12			12			12			0			0			2000			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_GID					13			13			13			13			0			0			2003			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_EGID					14			14			14			14			0			0			2002			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_PLATFORM				15			15			0			0			0			0			0			0			# address of string with hardware platform for rpath interpretation
-syscon	auxv	AT_HWCAP				16			16			16			16			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_CLKTCK				17			17			0			0			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_DCACHEBSIZE				19			19			0			0			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_ICACHEBSIZE				20			20			0			0			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_UCACHEBSIZE				21			21			0			0			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_SECURE				23			23			23			23			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_BASE_PLATFORM			24			24			0			0			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_RANDOM				25			25			25			25			16			0			0			0			# address of sixteen bytes of random data; AT_CANARY on FreeBSD whose AT_CANARYLEN should be 64
-syscon	auxv	AT_HWCAP2				26			26			26			26			0			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_EXECFN				31			31			31			31			15			999			2014			31			# address of string containing first argument passed to execve() used when running program; AT_EXECPATH on FreeBSD
-syscon	auxv	AT_SYSINFO_EHDR				33			33			0			0			0			0			0			0
+syscon	auxv	AT_PLATFORM				15			15			0			0			0			15			0			15			# address of string with hardware platform for rpath interpretation
+syscon	auxv	AT_CLKTCK				17			17			0			0			0			17			0			17
+syscon	auxv	AT_DCACHEBSIZE				19			19			0			0			0			19			0			19
+syscon	auxv	AT_ICACHEBSIZE				20			20			0			0			0			20			0			20
+syscon	auxv	AT_UCACHEBSIZE				21			21			0			0			0			21			0			21
+syscon	auxv	AT_BASE_PLATFORM			24			24			0			0			0			24			0			24
+syscon	auxv	AT_SYSINFO_EHDR				33			33			0			0			0			33			0			33
 syscon	auxv	AT_STACKBASE				0			0			0			0			0			0			13			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_EXECPATH				31			31			31			31			15			999			2014			31			# FreeBSD name for AT_EXECFN
-syscon	auxv	AT_MINSIGSTKSZ				51			51			0			0			0			0			0			0			# FreeBSD name for AT_EXECFN
+syscon	auxv	AT_EXECPATH				31			31			31			31			15			31			2014			31			# FreeBSD name for AT_EXECFN
+syscon	auxv	AT_MINSIGSTKSZ				51			51			0			0			0			51			0			51			# FreeBSD name for AT_EXECFN
 syscon	auxv	AT_CANARY				0			0			0			0			16			0			0			0
 syscon	auxv	AT_CANARYLEN				0			0			0			0			17			0			0			0
 syscon	auxv	AT_NCPUS				0			0			0			0			19			0			0			0
@@ -457,7 +449,7 @@ syscon	auxv	AT_PAGESIZESLEN				0			0			0			0			21			0			0			0
 syscon	auxv	AT_TIMEKEEP				0			0			0			0			22			0			0			0
 syscon	auxv	AT_STACKPROT				0			0			0			0			23			0			0			0
 syscon	auxv	AT_EHDRFLAGS				0			0			0			0			24			0			0			0
-syscon	auxv	AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT				0x0800			0x0800			0			0			0			0			0			0
+syscon	auxv	AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT				0x0800			0x0800			0			0			0			0x0800			0			0x0800
 
 #	getrlimit() / setrlimit() resource parameter
 #
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE.S
deleted file mode 100644
index 175c15fc0..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_BASE,7,7,7,7,7,0,7,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE_PLATFORM.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE_PLATFORM.S
index 37316e7c4..8ce402d57 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE_PLATFORM.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_BASE_PLATFORM.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_BASE_PLATFORM,24,24,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_BASE_PLATFORM,24,24,0,0,0,24,0,24
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_CLKTCK.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_CLKTCK.S
index 3ace4dea9..3a36be93b 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_CLKTCK.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_CLKTCK.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_CLKTCK,17,17,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_CLKTCK,17,17,0,0,0,17,0,17
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_DCACHEBSIZE.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_DCACHEBSIZE.S
index a0ca36d47..2c150f40e 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_DCACHEBSIZE.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_DCACHEBSIZE.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_DCACHEBSIZE,19,19,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_DCACHEBSIZE,19,19,0,0,0,19,0,19
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EGID.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EGID.S
index 89835346d..8800e4d1d 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EGID.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EGID.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_EGID,14,14,14,14,0,0,2002,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_EGID,14,14,14,14,0,14,2002,14
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ENTRY.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ENTRY.S
deleted file mode 100644
index 843856b89..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ENTRY.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_ENTRY,9,9,9,9,9,0,9,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EUID.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EUID.S
index a332b0a0c..d41d9814d 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EUID.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EUID.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_EUID,12,12,12,12,0,0,2000,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_EUID,12,12,12,12,0,12,2000,12
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFD.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFD.S
index 336f7abf7..015bffda2 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFD.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFD.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_EXECFD,2,2,0,0,2,0,2,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_EXECFD,2,2,0,0,2,2,2,2
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFN.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFN.S
index bd6e4da73..363f4b7cd 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFN.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECFN.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_EXECFN,31,31,31,31,15,999,2014,31
+.syscon auxv,AT_EXECFN,31,31,31,31,15,31,2014,31
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECPATH.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECPATH.S
index 3c428940a..b301433f6 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECPATH.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_EXECPATH.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_EXECPATH,31,31,31,31,15,999,2014,31
+.syscon auxv,AT_EXECPATH,31,31,31,31,15,31,2014,31
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_FLAGS.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_FLAGS.S
deleted file mode 100644
index 0183d3433..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_FLAGS.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_FLAGS,8,8,0,0,8,0,8,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_GID.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_GID.S
index 2b78a8828..87784f3f6 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_GID.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_GID.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_GID,13,13,13,13,0,0,2003,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_GID,13,13,13,13,0,13,2003,13
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP.S
index 122148719..0db036194 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_HWCAP,16,16,16,16,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_HWCAP,16,16,16,16,0,16,0,16
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP2.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP2.S
index 655984437..824f587e0 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP2.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_HWCAP2.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_HWCAP2,26,26,26,26,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_HWCAP2,26,26,26,26,0,26,0,26
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ICACHEBSIZE.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ICACHEBSIZE.S
index e8163afed..4ee5b52cc 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ICACHEBSIZE.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_ICACHEBSIZE.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_ICACHEBSIZE,20,20,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_ICACHEBSIZE,20,20,0,0,0,20,0,20
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_MINSIGSTKSZ.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_MINSIGSTKSZ.S
index 05b310d3f..e9fd4aaf0 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_MINSIGSTKSZ.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_MINSIGSTKSZ.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_MINSIGSTKSZ,51,51,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_MINSIGSTKSZ,51,51,0,0,0,51,0,51
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NOTELF.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NOTELF.S
index 1fabb1749..1abd92f1e 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NOTELF.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NOTELF.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_NOTELF,10,10,0,0,10,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_NOTELF,10,10,0,0,10,10,0,10
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT.S
index 8a579fcf2..9c701cef4 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT,0x0800,0x0800,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT,0x0800,0x0800,0,0,0,0x0800,0,0x0800
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PAGESZ.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PAGESZ.S
deleted file mode 100644
index 5667dfe39..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PAGESZ.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_PAGESZ,6,6,6,6,6,0,6,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHDR.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHDR.S
deleted file mode 100644
index 90d38960f..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHDR.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_PHDR,3,3,3,3,3,0,3,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHENT.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHENT.S
deleted file mode 100644
index d3ab1e34d..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHENT.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_PHENT,4,4,4,4,4,0,4,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHNUM.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHNUM.S
deleted file mode 100644
index 0e62951ed..000000000
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PHNUM.S
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_PHNUM,5,5,5,5,5,0,5,0
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PLATFORM.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PLATFORM.S
index 29d4660df..e5f4bf031 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PLATFORM.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_PLATFORM.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_PLATFORM,15,15,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_PLATFORM,15,15,0,0,0,15,0,15
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_RANDOM.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_RANDOM.S
index b13b6ed17..2710efb4a 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_RANDOM.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_RANDOM.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_RANDOM,25,25,25,25,16,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_RANDOM,25,25,25,25,16,25,0,25
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SECURE.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SECURE.S
index 44dc2ebff..d9f0f1218 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SECURE.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SECURE.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_SECURE,23,23,23,23,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_SECURE,23,23,23,23,0,23,0,23
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SYSINFO_EHDR.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SYSINFO_EHDR.S
index 3796556bc..fd5dda35b 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SYSINFO_EHDR.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_SYSINFO_EHDR.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_SYSINFO_EHDR,33,33,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_SYSINFO_EHDR,33,33,0,0,0,33,0,33
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UCACHEBSIZE.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UCACHEBSIZE.S
index 3d1a2020e..4d949b6e7 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UCACHEBSIZE.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UCACHEBSIZE.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_UCACHEBSIZE,21,21,0,0,0,0,0,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_UCACHEBSIZE,21,21,0,0,0,21,0,21
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UID.S b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UID.S
index 32ea21f60..b56d63cab 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UID.S
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/AT_UID.S
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/syscon.internal.h"
-.syscon auxv,AT_UID,11,11,11,11,0,0,2001,0
+.syscon auxv,AT_UID,11,11,11,11,0,11,2001,11
diff --git a/libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h b/libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h
index 8972acf38..0bbb02176 100644
--- a/libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h
+++ b/libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h
@@ -1,25 +1,53 @@
 #ifndef COSMOPOLITAN_LIBC_CALLS_AUXV_H_
 #define COSMOPOLITAN_LIBC_CALLS_AUXV_H_
+
+/*
+ * integral getauxval() keys
+ */
+#define AT_PHDR   3
+#define AT_PHENT  4
+#define AT_PHNUM  5
+#define AT_PAGESZ 6
+#define AT_BASE   7
+#define AT_FLAGS  8
+#define AT_ENTRY  9
+
 #if !(__ASSEMBLER__ + __LINKER__ + 0)
 COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
 
-extern const unsigned long AT_BASE;
+/*
+ * portable getauxval() keys
+ */
+extern const unsigned long AT_EXECFN;
+extern const unsigned long AT_SECURE;
+extern const unsigned long AT_RANDOM;
+extern const unsigned long AT_HWCAP;
+extern const unsigned long AT_HWCAP2;
+extern const unsigned long AT_UID;
+extern const unsigned long AT_EUID;
+extern const unsigned long AT_GID;
+extern const unsigned long AT_EGID;
+#define AT_EXECFN AT_EXECFN
+#define AT_SECURE AT_SECURE
+#define AT_RANDOM AT_RANDOM
+#define AT_HWCAP  AT_HWCAP
+#define AT_HWCAP2 AT_HWCAP2
+#define AT_UID    AT_UID
+#define AT_EUID   AT_EUID
+#define AT_GID    AT_GID
+#define AT_EGID   AT_EGID
+
+/*
+ * platform-specific getauxval() keys
+ */
 extern const unsigned long AT_BASE_PLATFORM;
 extern const unsigned long AT_CANARY;
 extern const unsigned long AT_CANARYLEN;
 extern const unsigned long AT_CLKTCK;
 extern const unsigned long AT_DCACHEBSIZE;
-extern const unsigned long AT_EGID;
 extern const unsigned long AT_EHDRFLAGS;
-extern const unsigned long AT_ENTRY;
-extern const unsigned long AT_EUID;
 extern const unsigned long AT_EXECFD;
-extern const unsigned long AT_EXECFN;
 extern const unsigned long AT_EXECPATH;
-extern const unsigned long AT_FLAGS;
-extern const unsigned long AT_GID;
-extern const unsigned long AT_HWCAP2;
-extern const unsigned long AT_HWCAP;
 extern const unsigned long AT_ICACHEBSIZE;
 extern const unsigned long AT_MINSIGSTKSZ;
 extern const unsigned long AT_NCPUS;
@@ -28,61 +56,13 @@ extern const unsigned long AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT;
 extern const unsigned long AT_OSRELDATE;
 extern const unsigned long AT_PAGESIZES;
 extern const unsigned long AT_PAGESIZESLEN;
-extern const unsigned long AT_PAGESZ;
-extern const unsigned long AT_PHDR;
-extern const unsigned long AT_PHENT;
-extern const unsigned long AT_PHNUM;
 extern const unsigned long AT_PLATFORM;
-extern const unsigned long AT_RANDOM;
-extern const unsigned long AT_SECURE;
 extern const unsigned long AT_STACKBASE;
 extern const unsigned long AT_STACKPROT;
 extern const unsigned long AT_SYSINFO_EHDR;
 extern const unsigned long AT_TIMEKEEP;
 extern const unsigned long AT_UCACHEBSIZE;
-extern const unsigned long AT_UID;
 
 COSMOPOLITAN_C_END_
 #endif /* !(__ASSEMBLER__ + __LINKER__ + 0) */
-
-#define AT_BASE          AT_BASE
-#define AT_BASE_PLATFORM AT_BASE_PLATFORM
-#define AT_CANARY        AT_CANARY
-#define AT_CANARYLEN     AT_CANARYLEN
-#define AT_CLKTCK        AT_CLKTCK
-#define AT_DCACHEBSIZE   AT_DCACHEBSIZE
-#define AT_EGID          AT_EGID
-#define AT_EHDRFLAGS     AT_EHDRFLAGS
-#define AT_ENTRY         AT_ENTRY
-#define AT_EUID          AT_EUID
-#define AT_EXECFD        AT_EXECFD
-#define AT_EXECFN        AT_EXECFN
-#define AT_EXECPATH      AT_EXECPATH
-#define AT_FLAGS         AT_FLAGS
-#define AT_GID           AT_GID
-#define AT_HWCAP         AT_HWCAP
-#define AT_HWCAP2        AT_HWCAP2
-#define AT_ICACHEBSIZE   AT_ICACHEBSIZE
-#define AT_MINSIGSTKSZ   AT_MINSIGSTKSZ
-#define AT_NCPUS         AT_NCPUS
-#define AT_NOTELF        AT_NOTELF
-#define AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT  AT_NO_AUTOMOUNT
-#define AT_OSRELDATE     AT_OSRELDATE
-#define AT_PAGESIZES     AT_PAGESIZES
-#define AT_PAGESIZESLEN  AT_PAGESIZESLEN
-#define AT_PAGESZ        AT_PAGESZ
-#define AT_PHDR          AT_PHDR
-#define AT_PHENT         AT_PHENT
-#define AT_PHNUM         AT_PHNUM
-#define AT_PLATFORM      AT_PLATFORM
-#define AT_RANDOM        AT_RANDOM
-#define AT_SECURE        AT_SECURE
-#define AT_STACKBASE     AT_STACKBASE
-#define AT_STACKPROT     AT_STACKPROT
-#define AT_SYSINFO_EHDR  AT_SYSINFO_EHDR
-#define AT_TIMEKEEP      AT_TIMEKEEP
-#define AT_UCACHEBSIZE   AT_UCACHEBSIZE
-#define AT_UID           AT_UID
-
-
 #endif /* COSMOPOLITAN_LIBC_CALLS_AUXV_H_ */
diff --git a/libc/testlib/extract.c b/libc/testlib/extract.c
index a0da629d3..4d6bcf194 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/extract.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/extract.c
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 /**
  * Extracts zip asset to filesystem.
diff --git a/libc/testlib/ezbenchreport.c b/libc/testlib/ezbenchreport.c
index 53b6cfaaa..bd9fe7ce3 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/ezbenchreport.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/ezbenchreport.c
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@
 #include "libc/time/time.h"
 #include "libc/x/x.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strnwidth");
+__static_yoink("strnwidth");
 
 void __testlib_ezbenchreport(const char *form, double c1, double c2) {
   long ns1, ns2;
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ void __testlib_ezbenchreport(const char *form, double c1, double c2) {
   ns1 = lrintl(ConvertTicksToNanos(c1));
   ns2 = lrintl(ConvertTicksToNanos(c2));
   (fprintf)(stderr,
-            VEIL("r", " *     %-19s l: %,9luc %,9luns   m: %,9luc %,9luns\n"),
+            __veil("r", " *     %-19s l: %,9luc %,9luns   m: %,9luc %,9luns\n"),
             form, lrint(c1), ns1, lrint(c2), ns2);
 }
 
@@ -47,40 +47,41 @@ void __testlib_ezbenchreport_n(const char *form, char z, size_t n, double c) {
     (fprintf)(stderr, "\n");
     (fprintf)(stderr, " *     %-28s", msg);
     if (cn < 1) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(cn * 1024),
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(cn * 1024),
                 "picoseconds");
     } else if (cn > 1024) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(cn / 1024),
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(cn / 1024),
                 "microseconds");
     } else {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)cn, "nanoseconds");
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)cn,
+                "nanoseconds");
     }
   } else {
     (fprintf)(stderr, " *     %-28s", msg);
     bps = n / cn * 1e9;
     lat = cn / n;
     if (lat < 1e-3) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(lat * 1024 * 1024),
-                "fs/byte");
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"),
+                (int64_t)(lat * 1024 * 1024), "fs/byte");
     } else if (lat < 1) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(lat * 1024),
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(lat * 1024),
                 "ps/byte");
     } else if (lat > 1024) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(lat / 1024),
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)(lat / 1024),
                 "µs/byte");
     } else {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)lat, "ns/byte");
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu %-12s"), (int64_t)lat, "ns/byte");
     }
     if (bps < 10 * 1000) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu b/s"), bps);
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu b/s"), bps);
     } else if (bps < 10 * 1000 * 1024) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu kb/s"), bps / 1024);
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu kb/s"), bps / 1024);
     } else if (bps < 10ul * 1000 * 1024 * 1024) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu mb/s"), bps / (1024 * 1024));
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu mb/s"), bps / (1024 * 1024));
     } else if (bps < 10ul * 1000 * 1024 * 1024 * 1024) {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu GB/s"), bps / (1024 * 1024 * 1024));
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu GB/s"), bps / (1024 * 1024 * 1024));
     } else {
-      (fprintf)(stderr, VEIL("r", " %,9lu TB/s"),
+      (fprintf)(stderr, __veil("r", " %,9lu TB/s"),
                 bps / (1024ul * 1024 * 1024 * 1024));
     }
   }
diff --git a/libc/testlib/memoryexists.c b/libc/testlib/memoryexists.c
index 0db928464..718449e87 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/memoryexists.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/memoryexists.c
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ static void ContinueOnError(int sig, siginfo_t *si, void *vctx) {
  * on error. It then attempts a volatile read and if it faults, then
  * this function shall return false. The value at `p` isn't considered.
  */
-noasan bool testlib_memoryexists(const void *p) {
+dontasan bool testlib_memoryexists(const void *p) {
   volatile char c;
   const atomic_char *mem = p;
   struct sigaction old[2];
@@ -60,11 +60,11 @@ noasan bool testlib_memoryexists(const void *p) {
       .sa_flags = SA_SIGINFO,
   };
   gotsignal = 0;
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGSEGV, &sa, old + 0));
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGBUS, &sa, old + 1));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGSEGV, &sa, old + 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGBUS, &sa, old + 1));
   c = atomic_load(mem);
   (void)c;
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGBUS, old + 1, 0));
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGSEGV, old + 0, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGBUS, old + 1, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGSEGV, old + 0, 0));
   return !gotsignal;
 }
diff --git a/libc/testlib/quota.c b/libc/testlib/quota.c
index 2f5c66576..ea4bf84ef 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/quota.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/quota.c
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 #include "third_party/dlmalloc/dlmalloc.h"
 
-static noasan noubsan relegated uint64_t CountMappedBytes(void) {
+static dontasan dontubsan relegated uint64_t CountMappedBytes(void) {
   size_t i;
   uint64_t x, y;
   for (x = i = 0; i < _mmi.i; ++i) {
diff --git a/libc/testlib/testlib.h b/libc/testlib/testlib.h
index 371383704..606da71bb 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/testlib.h
+++ b/libc/testlib/testlib.h
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@ COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
  * the (SUITE, NAME) tuple passed here.
  */
 #define TEST(SUITE, NAME)           \
-  STATIC_YOINK("__testcase_start"); \
+  __static_yoink("__testcase_start"); \
   __TEST_PROTOTYPE(SUITE, NAME, __TEST_ARRAY, )
 
 /**
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
  * are also guaranteed by the linker to be run in sorted order.
  */
 #define FIXTURE(SUITE, NAME)       \
-  STATIC_YOINK("__fixture_start"); \
+  __static_yoink("__fixture_start"); \
   __FIXTURE("fixture", SUITE, NAME)
 
 /**
@@ -37,7 +37,7 @@ COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
  * more appropriate for testing pure code (i.e. no syscalls) like math.
  */
 #define COMBO(GROUP, ENTRY)      \
-  STATIC_YOINK("__combo_start"); \
+  __static_yoink("__combo_start"); \
   __FIXTURE("combo", GROUP, ENTRY)
 
 /**
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
  * @see EZBENCH()
  */
 #define BENCH(SUITE, NAME)       \
-  STATIC_YOINK("__bench_start"); \
+  __static_yoink("__bench_start"); \
   __TEST_PROTOTYPE(SUITE, NAME, __BENCH_ARRAY, optimizespeed)
 
 #define ASSERT_GE(C, X) _TEST2("ASSERT_GE", C, >=, (X), #C, " ≥ ", #X, 1)
diff --git a/libc/testlib/testmain.c b/libc/testlib/testmain.c
index 538b7f267..7172e12fe 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/testmain.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/testmain.c
@@ -67,10 +67,10 @@ Flags:\n\
   -h         show this information\n\
 \n"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("__die");
-STATIC_YOINK("GetSymbolByAddr");
-STATIC_YOINK("testlib_quota_handlers");
-STATIC_YOINK("stack_usage_logging");
+__static_yoink("__die");
+__static_yoink("GetSymbolByAddr");
+__static_yoink("testlib_quota_handlers");
+__static_yoink("stack_usage_logging");
 
 static bool runbenchmarks_;
 
@@ -163,7 +163,7 @@ static void SetLimit(int resource, uint64_t soft, uint64_t hard) {
 /**
  * Generic test program main function.
  */
-noasan int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
+dontasan int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   unsigned cpus;
   const char *comdbg;
   __log_level = kLogInfo;
diff --git a/libc/testlib/testrunner.c b/libc/testlib/testrunner.c
index ad9cbee2d..2fd264bf7 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/testrunner.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/testrunner.c
@@ -120,7 +120,7 @@ static void CheckSignalHandler(int sig) {
 #if 0
   int i;
   struct sigaction sa = {0};
-  _unassert(0 <= sig - 1 && sig - 1 < ARRAYLEN(wanthandlers));
+  unassert(0 <= sig - 1 && sig - 1 < ARRAYLEN(wanthandlers));
   CHECK_EQ(0, sigaction(sig, 0, &sa));
   CHECK_EQ(0, memcmp(wanthandlers + sig - 1, &sa, sizeof(sa)),
            "signal handler for %s was %p/%#x/%#x:%x "
diff --git a/libc/testlib/waitforexit.c b/libc/testlib/waitforexit.c
index 79b8beba8..a1218fbf5 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/waitforexit.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/waitforexit.c
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strsignal");
+__static_yoink("strsignal");
 
 void testlib_waitforexit(const char *file, int line, const char *code, int rc,
                          int pid) {
diff --git a/libc/testlib/waitforterm.c b/libc/testlib/waitforterm.c
index cf3b0512c..75eb80765 100644
--- a/libc/testlib/waitforterm.c
+++ b/libc/testlib/waitforterm.c
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strsignal");
+__static_yoink("strsignal");
 
 void testlib_waitforterm(const char *file, int line, const char *code, int sig,
                          int pid) {
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_atfork.c b/libc/thread/pthread_atfork.c
index fa8d0d1e8..2aaf7b31d 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_atfork.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_atfork.c
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@ static void _pthread_purge(void) {
 static void _pthread_onfork(int i) {
   struct AtFork *a;
   struct PosixThread *pt;
-  _unassert(0 <= i && i <= 2);
+  unassert(0 <= i && i <= 2);
   if (!i) pthread_spin_lock(&_atforks.lock);
   for (a = _atforks.list; a; a = a->p[!i]) {
     if (a->f[i]) a->f[i]();
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_attr_init.c b/libc/thread/pthread_attr_init.c
index 87b7f7441..231d7db1d 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_attr_init.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_attr_init.c
@@ -16,7 +16,9 @@
 │ TORTIOUS ACTION, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR             │
 │ PERFORMANCE OF THIS SOFTWARE.                                                │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
+#include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/stack.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 
 /**
@@ -36,7 +38,7 @@
 errno_t pthread_attr_init(pthread_attr_t *attr) {
   *attr = (pthread_attr_t){
       .__stacksize = GetStackSize(),
-      .__guardsize = APE_GUARDSIZE,
+      .__guardsize = getauxval(AT_PAGESZ),
   };
   return 0;
 }
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_cancel.c b/libc/thread/pthread_cancel.c
index 0a0124fed..882cab2a9 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_cancel.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_cancel.c
@@ -75,7 +75,7 @@ static void ListenForSigThr(void) {
   sa.sa_sigaction = OnSigThr;
   sa.sa_flags = SA_SIGINFO | SA_RESTART | SA_ONSTACK;
   memset(&sa.sa_mask, -1, sizeof(sa.sa_mask));
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGTHR, &sa, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGTHR, &sa, 0));
 }
 
 /**
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_create.c b/libc/thread/pthread_create.c
index 4c65ed264..8ac005e80 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_create.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_create.c
@@ -27,12 +27,14 @@
 #include "libc/intrin/atomic.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/bits.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/dll.h"
+#include "libc/intrin/kprintf.h"
 #include "libc/log/internal.h"
 #include "libc/macros.internal.h"
 #include "libc/mem/mem.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/stack.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/clone.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/map.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/prot.h"
@@ -44,9 +46,9 @@
 #include "libc/thread/tls.h"
 #include "libc/thread/wait0.internal.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("nsync_mu_lock");
-STATIC_YOINK("nsync_mu_unlock");
-STATIC_YOINK("_pthread_atfork");
+__static_yoink("nsync_mu_lock");
+__static_yoink("nsync_mu_unlock");
+__static_yoink("_pthread_atfork");
 
 #define MAP_ANON_OPENBSD  0x1000
 #define MAP_STACK_OPENBSD 0x4000
@@ -57,7 +59,7 @@ void _pthread_free(struct PosixThread *pt) {
   if ((pt->flags & PT_OWNSTACK) &&  //
       pt->attr.__stackaddr &&       //
       pt->attr.__stackaddr != MAP_FAILED) {
-    _npassert(!munmap(pt->attr.__stackaddr, pt->attr.__stacksize));
+    npassert(!munmap(pt->attr.__stackaddr, pt->attr.__stacksize));
   }
   if (pt->altstack) {
     free(pt->altstack);
@@ -70,7 +72,7 @@ static int PosixThread(void *arg, int tid) {
   struct sigaltstack ss;
   struct PosixThread *pt = arg;
   enum PosixThreadStatus status;
-  _unassert(__get_tls()->tib_tid > 0);
+  unassert(__get_tls()->tib_tid > 0);
   if (pt->altstack) {
     ss.ss_flags = 0;
     ss.ss_size = SIGSTKSZ;
@@ -85,10 +87,10 @@ static int PosixThread(void *arg, int tid) {
   // set long jump handler so pthread_exit can bring control back here
   if (!setjmp(pt->exiter)) {
     __get_tls()->tib_pthread = (pthread_t)pt;
-    _npassert(!sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, (sigset_t *)pt->attr.__sigmask, 0));
+    npassert(!sigprocmask(SIG_SETMASK, (sigset_t *)pt->attr.__sigmask, 0));
     rc = pt->start(pt->arg);
     // ensure pthread_cleanup_pop(), and pthread_exit() popped cleanup
-    _npassert(!pt->cleanup);
+    npassert(!pt->cleanup);
     // calling pthread_exit() will either jump back here, or call exit
     pthread_exit(rc);
   }
@@ -170,15 +172,17 @@ static errno_t pthread_create_impl(pthread_t *thread,
     // cosmo is managing the stack
     // 1. in mono repo optimize for tiniest stack possible
     // 2. in public world optimize to *work* regardless of memory
+    unsigned long default_guardsize;
+    default_guardsize = getauxval(AT_PAGESZ);
     pt->flags = PT_OWNSTACK;
     pt->attr.__stacksize = MAX(pt->attr.__stacksize, GetStackSize());
     pt->attr.__stacksize = _roundup2pow(pt->attr.__stacksize);
-    pt->attr.__guardsize = ROUNDUP(pt->attr.__guardsize, APE_GUARDSIZE);
-    if (pt->attr.__guardsize + APE_GUARDSIZE >= pt->attr.__stacksize) {
+    pt->attr.__guardsize = ROUNDUP(pt->attr.__guardsize, default_guardsize);
+    if (pt->attr.__guardsize + default_guardsize >= pt->attr.__stacksize) {
       _pthread_free(pt);
       return EINVAL;
     }
-    if (pt->attr.__guardsize == APE_GUARDSIZE) {
+    if (pt->attr.__guardsize == default_guardsize) {
       // user is wisely using smaller stacks with default guard size
       pt->attr.__stackaddr =
           mmap(0, pt->attr.__stacksize, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_exit.c b/libc/thread/pthread_exit.c
index aae41e711..af44019a4 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_exit.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_exit.c
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ wontreturn void pthread_exit(void *rc) {
 
   tib = __get_tls();
   pt = (struct PosixThread *)tib->tib_pthread;
-  _unassert(~pt->flags & PT_EXITING);
+  unassert(~pt->flags & PT_EXITING);
   pt->flags |= PT_EXITING;
   pt->rc = rc;
 
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_self.c b/libc/thread/pthread_self.c
index 250cc0391..0be3110c2 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_self.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_self.c
@@ -27,6 +27,6 @@
 pthread_t pthread_self(void) {
   pthread_t t;
   t = __get_tls()->tib_pthread;
-  _unassert(t);
+  unassert(t);
   return t;
 }
diff --git a/libc/thread/pthread_timedjoin_np.c b/libc/thread/pthread_timedjoin_np.c
index 1d6e37573..a31ef32c8 100644
--- a/libc/thread/pthread_timedjoin_np.c
+++ b/libc/thread/pthread_timedjoin_np.c
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ errno_t pthread_timedjoin_np(pthread_t thread, void **value_ptr,
   // "The behavior is undefined if the value specified by the thread
   //  argument to pthread_join() does not refer to a joinable thread."
   //                                  ──Quoth POSIX.1-2017
-  _unassert(status == kPosixThreadJoinable || status == kPosixThreadTerminated);
+  unassert(status == kPosixThreadJoinable || status == kPosixThreadTerminated);
   if (!(rc = _wait0(&pt->tib->tib_tid, abstime))) {
     pthread_spin_lock(&_pthread_lock);
     dll_remove(&_pthread_list, &pt->list);
diff --git a/libc/thread/sem_destroy.c b/libc/thread/sem_destroy.c
index 3f2869814..7cf156724 100644
--- a/libc/thread/sem_destroy.c
+++ b/libc/thread/sem_destroy.c
@@ -41,10 +41,10 @@
  */
 int sem_destroy(sem_t *sem) {
   int waiters;
-  _npassert(sem->sem_magic != SEM_MAGIC_NAMED);
+  npassert(sem->sem_magic != SEM_MAGIC_NAMED);
   if (sem->sem_magic != SEM_MAGIC_UNNAMED) return einval();
   waiters = atomic_load_explicit(&sem->sem_waiters, memory_order_relaxed);
-  _unassert(waiters >= 0);
+  unassert(waiters >= 0);
   if (waiters) return ebusy();
   atomic_store_explicit(&sem->sem_value, INT_MIN, memory_order_relaxed);
   return 0;
diff --git a/libc/thread/sem_open.c b/libc/thread/sem_open.c
index efd32c5f0..5c8a48762 100644
--- a/libc/thread/sem_open.c
+++ b/libc/thread/sem_open.c
@@ -85,9 +85,9 @@ static sem_t *sem_open_impl(const char *path, int oflag, unsigned mode,
   if ((fd = openat(AT_FDCWD, path, oflag, mode)) == -1) {
     return SEM_FAILED;
   }
-  _npassert(!fstat(fd, &st));
+  npassert(!fstat(fd, &st));
   if (st.st_size < PAGESIZE && ftruncate(fd, PAGESIZE) == -1) {
-    _npassert(!close(fd));
+    npassert(!close(fd));
     return SEM_FAILED;
   }
   sem = mmap(0, PAGESIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE, MAP_SHARED, fd, 0);
@@ -100,7 +100,7 @@ static sem_t *sem_open_impl(const char *path, int oflag, unsigned mode,
   } else {
     sem = SEM_FAILED;
   }
-  _npassert(!close(fd));
+  npassert(!close(fd));
   return sem;
 }
 
@@ -256,23 +256,23 @@ int sem_close(sem_t *sem) {
   int prefs;
   bool unmap, delete;
   struct Semaphore *s, **p;
-  _npassert(sem->sem_magic == SEM_MAGIC_NAMED);
+  npassert(sem->sem_magic == SEM_MAGIC_NAMED);
   sem_open_init();
   sem_open_lock();
-  _npassert((s = sem_open_get(sem, &p)));
+  npassert((s = sem_open_get(sem, &p)));
   prefs = atomic_fetch_add_explicit(&sem->sem_prefs, -1, memory_order_acq_rel);
-  _npassert(s->refs > 0);
+  npassert(s->refs > 0);
   if ((unmap = !--s->refs)) {
-    _npassert(prefs > 0);
+    npassert(prefs > 0);
     delete = sem->sem_lazydelete && prefs == 1;
     *p = s->next;
   } else {
-    _npassert(prefs > 1);
+    npassert(prefs > 1);
     delete = false;
   }
   sem_open_unlock();
   if (unmap) {
-    _npassert(!munmap(sem, PAGESIZE));
+    npassert(!munmap(sem, PAGESIZE));
   }
   if (delete) {
     unlink(s->path);
diff --git a/libc/thread/sem_post.c b/libc/thread/sem_post.c
index 37c5f3f43..4ed66ec45 100644
--- a/libc/thread/sem_post.c
+++ b/libc/thread/sem_post.c
@@ -34,10 +34,10 @@
 int sem_post(sem_t *sem) {
   int rc, old, wakeups;
   old = atomic_fetch_add_explicit(&sem->sem_value, 1, memory_order_acq_rel);
-  _unassert(old > INT_MIN);
+  unassert(old > INT_MIN);
   if (old >= 0) {
     wakeups = nsync_futex_wake_(&sem->sem_value, 1, true);
-    _npassert(wakeups >= 0);
+    npassert(wakeups >= 0);
     rc = 0;
   } else {
     wakeups = 0;
diff --git a/libc/thread/sem_timedwait.c b/libc/thread/sem_timedwait.c
index 9419fab74..33e7e7320 100644
--- a/libc/thread/sem_timedwait.c
+++ b/libc/thread/sem_timedwait.c
@@ -35,8 +35,8 @@ static void sem_delay(int n) {
 
 static void sem_timedwait_cleanup(void *arg) {
   sem_t *sem = arg;
-  _unassert(atomic_fetch_add_explicit(&sem->sem_waiters, -1,
-                                      memory_order_acq_rel) > 0);
+  unassert(atomic_fetch_add_explicit(&sem->sem_waiters, -1,
+                                     memory_order_acq_rel) > 0);
 }
 
 /**
@@ -69,8 +69,8 @@ int sem_timedwait(sem_t *sem, const struct timespec *abstime) {
   }
 
   BEGIN_CANCELLATION_POINT;
-  _unassert(atomic_fetch_add_explicit(&sem->sem_waiters, +1,
-                                      memory_order_acq_rel) >= 0);
+  unassert(atomic_fetch_add_explicit(&sem->sem_waiters, +1,
+                                     memory_order_acq_rel) >= 0);
   pthread_cleanup_push(sem_timedwait_cleanup, sem);
 
   do {
@@ -82,20 +82,20 @@ int sem_timedwait(sem_t *sem, const struct timespec *abstime) {
       } else if (rc == -EAGAIN || rc == -EWOULDBLOCK) {
         rc = 0;
       } else if (rc == -ETIMEDOUT) {
-        _npassert(abstime);
+        npassert(abstime);
         if (timespec_cmp(*abstime, timespec_real()) <= 0) {
           rc = etimedout();
         } else {
           rc = 0;
         }
       } else {
-        _npassert(!rc);
+        npassert(!rc);
         rc = 0;
       }
     } else if (v > 0) {
       rc = 0;
     } else {
-      _unassert(v > INT_MIN);
+      unassert(v > INT_MIN);
       rc = einval();
     }
   } while (!rc && (!v || !atomic_compare_exchange_weak_explicit(
diff --git a/libc/thread/sem_trywait.c b/libc/thread/sem_trywait.c
index 0fa730554..d76a6402a 100644
--- a/libc/thread/sem_trywait.c
+++ b/libc/thread/sem_trywait.c
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ int sem_trywait(sem_t *sem) {
   int v;
   v = atomic_load_explicit(&sem->sem_value, memory_order_relaxed);
   do {
-    _unassert(v > INT_MIN);
+    unassert(v > INT_MIN);
     if (!v) return eagain();
     if (v < 0) return einval();
   } while (!atomic_compare_exchange_weak_explicit(
diff --git a/libc/thread/spawn.c b/libc/thread/spawn.c
index dc813776d..b83554841 100644
--- a/libc/thread/spawn.c
+++ b/libc/thread/spawn.c
@@ -153,7 +153,7 @@ int _join(struct spawn *th) {
   int rc;
   if (th->tib) {
     // wait for ctid to become zero
-    _npassert(!_wait0(&th->tib->tib_tid, 0));
+    npassert(!_wait0(&th->tib->tib_tid, 0));
     // free thread memory
     free(th->tls);
     rc = munmap(th->stk, GetStackSize());
diff --git a/libc/thread/tls2.h b/libc/thread/tls2.h
index d16c49685..49cae06c7 100644
--- a/libc/thread/tls2.h
+++ b/libc/thread/tls2.h
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
  * This should be favored over __get_tls() for .privileged code that
  * can't be self-modified by __enable_tls().
  */
-privileged static inline noasan struct CosmoTib *__get_tls_privileged(void) {
+privileged static inline struct CosmoTib *__get_tls_privileged(void) {
   char *tib, *lin = (char *)0x30;
   if (IsLinux() || IsFreebsd() || IsNetbsd() || IsOpenbsd() || IsMetal()) {
     asm("mov\t%%fs:(%1),%0" : "=a"(tib) : "r"(lin) : "memory");
@@ -25,14 +25,14 @@ privileged static inline noasan struct CosmoTib *__get_tls_privileged(void) {
   return (struct CosmoTib *)tib;
 }
 
-static noasan inline struct CosmoTib *__get_tls_win32(void) {
+static dontasan inline struct CosmoTib *__get_tls_win32(void) {
   char *tib, *lin = (char *)0x30;
   asm("mov\t%%gs:(%1),%0" : "=a"(tib) : "r"(lin) : "memory");
   tib = *(char **)(tib + 0x1480 + __tls_index * 8);
   return (struct CosmoTib *)tib;
 }
 
-static noasan inline void __set_tls_win32(void *tls) {
+static dontasan inline void __set_tls_win32(void *tls) {
   asm("mov\t%1,%%gs:%0" : "=m"(*((long *)0x1480 + __tls_index)) : "r"(tls));
 }
 
diff --git a/libc/thread/wait0.c b/libc/thread/wait0.c
index c77fb17c8..5972b5290 100644
--- a/libc/thread/wait0.c
+++ b/libc/thread/wait0.c
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ errno_t _wait0(const atomic_int *ctid, struct timespec *abstime) {
   // "The behavior is undefined if the value specified by the thread
   //  argument to pthread_join() refers to the calling thread."
   //                                  ──Quoth POSIX.1-2017
-  _unassert(ctid != &__get_tls()->tib_tid);
+  unassert(ctid != &__get_tls()->tib_tid);
   // "If the thread calling pthread_join() is canceled, then the target
   //  thread shall not be detached."  ──Quoth POSIX.1-2017
   if (!(rc = pthread_testcancel_np())) {
diff --git a/libc/time/iso8601.c b/libc/time/iso8601.c
index ad1113a95..a131124ea 100644
--- a/libc/time/iso8601.c
+++ b/libc/time/iso8601.c
@@ -60,34 +60,34 @@
 char *iso8601(char p[hasatleast 20], struct tm *tm) {
   int x;
   x = tm->tm_year + 1900;
-  _unassert(0 <= x && x <= 9999);
+  unassert(0 <= x && x <= 9999);
   *p++ = '0' + x / 1000;
   *p++ = '0' + x / 100 % 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x / 10 % 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x % 10;
   *p++ = '-';
   x = tm->tm_mon + 1;
-  _unassert(1 <= x && x <= 12);
+  unassert(1 <= x && x <= 12);
   *p++ = '0' + x / 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x % 10;
   *p++ = '-';
   x = tm->tm_mday;
-  _unassert(1 <= x && x <= 31);
+  unassert(1 <= x && x <= 31);
   *p++ = '0' + x / 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x % 10;
   *p++ = 'T';
   x = tm->tm_hour;
-  _unassert(0 <= x && x <= 23);
+  unassert(0 <= x && x <= 23);
   *p++ = '0' + x / 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x % 10;
   *p++ = ':';
   x = tm->tm_min;
-  _unassert(0 <= x && x <= 59);
+  unassert(0 <= x && x <= 59);
   *p++ = '0' + x / 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x % 10;
   *p++ = ':';
   x = tm->tm_sec;
-  _unassert(0 <= x && x <= 60);
+  unassert(0 <= x && x <= 60);
   *p++ = '0' + x / 10;
   *p++ = '0' + x % 10;
   *p = 0;
diff --git a/libc/time/iso8601us.c b/libc/time/iso8601us.c
index 77aff570c..1fb24f501 100644
--- a/libc/time/iso8601us.c
+++ b/libc/time/iso8601us.c
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@
  */
 char *iso8601us(char p[hasatleast 27], struct tm *tm, long ns) {
   p = iso8601(p, tm);
-  _unassert(0 <= ns && ns < 1000000000);
+  unassert(0 <= ns && ns < 1000000000);
   *p++ = '.';
   *p++ = '0' + ns / 100000000;
   *p++ = '0' + ns / 10000000 % 10;
diff --git a/libc/time/localtime.c b/libc/time/localtime.c
index 8d6709afc..0878136df 100644
--- a/libc/time/localtime.c
+++ b/libc/time/localtime.c
@@ -17,22 +17,22 @@
 #include "libc/time/tz.internal.h"
 #include "libc/time/tzfile.internal.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Anchorage");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Beijing");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Berlin");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Boulder");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Chicago");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/GMT");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/GST");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Honolulu");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Israel");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Japan");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/London");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/Melbourne");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/New_York");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/UTC");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Anchorage");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Beijing");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Berlin");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Boulder");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Chicago");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/GMT");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/GST");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Honolulu");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Israel");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Japan");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/London");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/Melbourne");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/New_York");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/UTC");
 
 // clang-format off
 /* Convert timestamp from time_t to struct tm.  */
diff --git a/libc/tinymath/magicu.c b/libc/tinymath/magicu.c
index e54a99a57..802d16370 100644
--- a/libc/tinymath/magicu.c
+++ b/libc/tinymath/magicu.c
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ struct magicu __magicu_get(uint32_t d) {
   int a, p;
   struct magicu magu;
   uint32_t p32, q, r, delta;
-  _npassert(d);            // Can't divide by zero.
+  npassert(d);             // Can't divide by zero.
   p32 = 0;                 // Avoid compiler warning.
   a = 0;                   // Initialize "add" indicator.
   p = 31;                  // Initialize p.
@@ -60,9 +60,9 @@ struct magicu __magicu_get(uint32_t d) {
     }
     delta = d - 1 - r;
   } while (p < 64 && p32 < delta);
-  magu.M = q + 1;               // Magic number and
-  magu.s = p - 32;              // Shift amount to return
-  if (a) magu.s |= 64;          // Sets "add" indicator
-  _npassert(magu.M || magu.s);  // Never returns zero.
+  magu.M = q + 1;              // Magic number and
+  magu.s = p - 32;             // Shift amount to return
+  if (a) magu.s |= 64;         // Sets "add" indicator
+  npassert(magu.M || magu.s);  // Never returns zero.
   return magu;
 }
diff --git a/libc/zip.internal.h b/libc/zip.internal.h
index a784ff9c2..b02523000 100644
--- a/libc/zip.internal.h
+++ b/libc/zip.internal.h
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@
 #ifdef __ASSEMBLER__
 #define ZM_(x) x
 #else
-#define ZM_(x) ~VEIL("r", ~x) /* prevent magic from appearing in binary */
+#define ZM_(x) ~__veil("r", ~x) /* prevent magic from appearing in binary */
 #endif
 
 #ifdef TINY
diff --git a/libc/zipos/find.c b/libc/zipos/find.c
index 1c81d31c9..734cf9e0e 100644
--- a/libc/zipos/find.c
+++ b/libc/zipos/find.c
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ ssize_t __zipos_find(struct Zipos *zipos, const struct ZiposUri *name) {
   c = GetZipCdirOffset(zipos->cdir);
   n = GetZipCdirRecords(zipos->cdir);
   for (i = 0; i < n; ++i, c += ZIP_CFILE_HDRSIZE(zipos->map + c)) {
-    _npassert(ZIP_CFILE_MAGIC(zipos->map + c) == kZipCfileHdrMagic);
+    npassert(ZIP_CFILE_MAGIC(zipos->map + c) == kZipCfileHdrMagic);
     zname = ZIP_CFILE_NAME(zipos->map + c);
     znamesize = ZIP_CFILE_NAMESIZE(zipos->map + c);
     if ((name->len == znamesize && !memcmp(name->path, zname, name->len)) ||
diff --git a/libc/zipos/get.c b/libc/zipos/get.c
index e3242bd31..a0fc5fbd2 100644
--- a/libc/zipos/get.c
+++ b/libc/zipos/get.c
@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@
 #include "libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h"
 
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-STATIC_YOINK(APE_COM_NAME);
+__static_yoink(APE_COM_NAME);
 #endif
 
 static uint64_t __zipos_get_min_offset(const uint8_t *base,
diff --git a/libc/zipos/mmap.c b/libc/zipos/mmap.c
index 898c55bb9..5e31a7986 100644
--- a/libc/zipos/mmap.c
+++ b/libc/zipos/mmap.c
@@ -47,8 +47,8 @@
  *     it does not need to be 64kb aligned.
  * @return virtual base address of new mapping, or MAP_FAILED w/ errno
  */
-noasan void *__zipos_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
-                          struct ZiposHandle *h, int64_t off) {
+dontasan void *__zipos_Mmap(void *addr, size_t size, int prot, int flags,
+                            struct ZiposHandle *h, int64_t off) {
   if (!(flags & MAP_PRIVATE) ||
       (flags & ~(MAP_PRIVATE | MAP_FILE | MAP_FIXED | MAP_FIXED_NOREPLACE)) ||
       (!!(flags & MAP_FIXED) ^ !!(flags & MAP_FIXED_NOREPLACE))) {
diff --git a/libc/zipos/open.c b/libc/zipos/open.c
index d632c049f..1ecbea579 100644
--- a/libc/zipos/open.c
+++ b/libc/zipos/open.c
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ static size_t maptotal;
 static void *__zipos_mmap_space(size_t mapsize) {
   char *start;
   size_t offset;
-  _unassert(mapsize);
+  unassert(mapsize);
   offset = maptotal;
   maptotal += mapsize;
   start = (char *)kMemtrackZiposStart;
@@ -135,7 +135,7 @@ static int __zipos_load(struct Zipos *zipos, size_t cf, unsigned flags,
   int rc, fd, minfd;
   struct ZiposHandle *h;
   lf = GetZipCfileOffset(zipos->map + cf);
-  _npassert((ZIP_LFILE_MAGIC(zipos->map + lf) == kZipLfileHdrMagic));
+  npassert((ZIP_LFILE_MAGIC(zipos->map + lf) == kZipLfileHdrMagic));
   size = GetZipLfileUncompressedSize(zipos->map + lf);
   switch (ZIP_LFILE_COMPRESSIONMETHOD(zipos->map + lf)) {
     case kZipCompressionNone:
diff --git a/libc/zipos/zipos.S b/libc/zipos/zipos.S
index fe8ab77e7..d45b82394 100644
--- a/libc/zipos/zipos.S
+++ b/libc/zipos/zipos.S
@@ -37,6 +37,6 @@
 //	TODO(jart): why does corruption happen when zip has no assets?
 	.yoink	.cosmo
 
-//	deprecated: use STATIC_YOINK("zipos")
+//	deprecated: use __static_yoink("zipos")
 	zip_uri_support = 0
 	.globl	zip_uri_support
diff --git a/libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h b/libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h
index 1a095c46e..77e9eba38 100644
--- a/libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h
+++ b/libc/zipos/zipos.internal.h
@@ -50,8 +50,8 @@ ssize_t __zipos_write(struct ZiposHandle *, const struct iovec *, size_t,
 int64_t __zipos_lseek(struct ZiposHandle *, int64_t, unsigned);
 int __zipos_fcntl(int, int, uintptr_t);
 int __zipos_notat(int, const char *);
-noasan void *__zipos_Mmap(void *, uint64_t, int32_t, int32_t,
-                          struct ZiposHandle *, int64_t);
+void *__zipos_Mmap(void *, uint64_t, int32_t, int32_t, struct ZiposHandle *,
+                   int64_t) dontasan;
 
 #ifdef _NOPL0
 #define __zipos_lock()   _NOPL0("__threadcalls", __zipos_lock)
diff --git a/net/http/headerhassubstring.c b/net/http/headerhassubstring.c
index a07010b92..e984075c2 100644
--- a/net/http/headerhassubstring.c
+++ b/net/http/headerhassubstring.c
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@
 bool HeaderHas(struct HttpMessage *m, const char *b, int h, const char *s,
                size_t n) {
   size_t i;
-  _unassert(0 <= h && h < kHttpHeadersMax);
+  unassert(0 <= h && h < kHttpHeadersMax);
   if (n == -1) n = s ? strlen(s) : 0;
   if (m->headers[h].a) {
     if (memmem(b + m->headers[h].a, m->headers[h].b - m->headers[h].a, s, n)) {
diff --git a/net/http/parsehttpmessage.c b/net/http/parsehttpmessage.c
index f00caf713..fd7490bee 100644
--- a/net/http/parsehttpmessage.c
+++ b/net/http/parsehttpmessage.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@
  * Initializes HTTP message parser.
  */
 void InitHttpMessage(struct HttpMessage *r, int type) {
-  _unassert(type == kHttpRequest || type == kHttpResponse);
+  unassert(type == kHttpRequest || type == kHttpResponse);
   bzero(r, sizeof(*r));
   r->type = type;
 }
diff --git a/net/https/generatehardrandom.c b/net/https/generatehardrandom.c
index 0f2c2fcb6..7c1c42d33 100644
--- a/net/https/generatehardrandom.c
+++ b/net/https/generatehardrandom.c
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ int GenerateHardRandom(void *ctx, unsigned char *p, size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   ssize_t rc;
   for (i = 0; i < n; i += (size_t)rc) {
-    _npassert((rc = getrandom(p + i, n - i, 0)) != -1);
+    npassert((rc = getrandom(p + i, n - i, 0)) != -1);
   }
   return 0;
 }
diff --git a/net/https/getsslroots.c b/net/https/getsslroots.c
index 8ac1bbfb0..8c78bffb0 100644
--- a/net/https/getsslroots.c
+++ b/net/https/getsslroots.c
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
 #include "libc/thread/thread.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/x509_crt.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("ssl_root_support");
+__static_yoink("ssl_root_support");
 
 #define SSL_ROOT_DIR "/zip/usr/share/ssl/root"
 
diff --git a/net/https/sslroots.c b/net/https/sslroots.c
index 2d98ae616..98b28350b 100644
--- a/net/https/sslroots.c
+++ b/net/https/sslroots.c
@@ -18,20 +18,20 @@
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 #include "net/https/https.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/amazon.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/certum.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/comodo.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/digicert.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/geotrust.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/globalsign.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/godaddy.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/google.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/isrg.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/quovadis.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/redbean.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/starfield.pem");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/ssl/root/verisign.pem");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/amazon.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/certum.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/comodo.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/digicert.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/geotrust.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/globalsign.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/godaddy.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/google.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/isrg.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/quovadis.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/redbean.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/starfield.pem");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/ssl/root/verisign.pem");
 
 char ssl_root_support;
diff --git a/net/turfwar/blackholed.c b/net/turfwar/blackholed.c
index 7544ac25c..d4ede885e 100644
--- a/net/turfwar/blackholed.c
+++ b/net/turfwar/blackholed.c
@@ -263,14 +263,14 @@ void RequireRoot(void) {
 
 void ListenForTerm(void) {
   struct sigaction sa = {.sa_handler = OnTerm};
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGTERM, &sa, 0));
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGHUP, &sa, 0));
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGINT, &sa, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGTERM, &sa, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGHUP, &sa, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGINT, &sa, 0));
 }
 
 void AutomaticallyHarvestZombies(void) {
   struct sigaction sa = {.sa_handler = SIG_IGN, .sa_flags = SA_NOCLDWAIT};
-  _npassert(!sigaction(SIGCHLD, &sa, 0));
+  npassert(!sigaction(SIGCHLD, &sa, 0));
 }
 
 void FindFirewall(void) {
@@ -305,9 +305,9 @@ void Daemonize(void) {
 
 void UseLog(void) {
   if (g_logfd > 0) {
-    _npassert(dup2(g_logfd, 2) == 2);
+    npassert(dup2(g_logfd, 2) == 2);
     if (g_logfd != 2) {
-      _npassert(!close(g_logfd));
+      npassert(!close(g_logfd));
     }
   }
 }
@@ -338,7 +338,7 @@ void WritePid(void) {
     LOG("error: open(%#s) failed: %s", g_pidname, strerror(errno));
     _Exit(4);
   }
-  _npassert((rc = pread(fd, buf, 11, 0)) != -1);
+  npassert((rc = pread(fd, buf, 11, 0)) != -1);
   if (rc) {
     pid = atoi(buf);
     LOG("killing old blackholed process %d", pid);
@@ -358,9 +358,9 @@ void WritePid(void) {
     }
   }
   FormatInt32(buf, getpid());
-  _npassert(!ftruncate(fd, 0));
-  _npassert((rc = pwrite(fd, buf, strlen(buf), 0)) == strlen(buf));
-  _npassert(!close(fd));
+  npassert(!ftruncate(fd, 0));
+  npassert((rc = pwrite(fd, buf, strlen(buf), 0)) == strlen(buf));
+  npassert(!close(fd));
 }
 
 bool IsMyIp(uint32_t ip) {
diff --git a/net/turfwar/turfwar.c b/net/turfwar/turfwar.c
index cff1d133d..6a75c83a5 100644
--- a/net/turfwar/turfwar.c
+++ b/net/turfwar/turfwar.c
@@ -656,8 +656,8 @@ void *NewSafeBuffer(size_t n) {
   char *p;
   long pagesize = sysconf(_SC_PAGESIZE);
   size_t m = ROUNDUP(n, pagesize);
-  _npassert((p = valloc(m + pagesize)));
-  _npassert(!mprotect(p + m, pagesize, PROT_NONE));
+  npassert((p = valloc(m + pagesize)));
+  npassert(!mprotect(p + m, pagesize, PROT_NONE));
   return p;
 }
 
@@ -666,7 +666,7 @@ void FreeSafeBuffer(void *p) {
   long pagesize = sysconf(_SC_PAGESIZE);
   size_t n = malloc_usable_size(p);
   size_t m = ROUNDDOWN(n, pagesize);
-  _npassert(!mprotect(p, m, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
+  npassert(!mprotect(p, m, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
   free(p);
 }
 
@@ -1947,9 +1947,9 @@ int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
     if (closefrom(0))
       for (int i = 0; i < 256; ++i)  //
         close(i);
-    _npassert(0 == open(_PATH_DEVNULL, O_RDWR));
-    _npassert(1 == dup(0));
-    _npassert(2 == open("turfwar.log", O_CREAT | O_WRONLY | O_APPEND, 0644));
+    npassert(0 == open(_PATH_DEVNULL, O_RDWR));
+    npassert(1 == dup(0));
+    npassert(2 == open("turfwar.log", O_CREAT | O_WRONLY | O_APPEND, 0644));
   }
 
   LOG("Generating Hilbert Curve...\n");
diff --git a/test/dsp/core/inv3_test.c b/test/dsp/core/inv3_test.c
index 8ae025db5..09d27e96a 100644
--- a/test/dsp/core/inv3_test.c
+++ b/test/dsp/core/inv3_test.c
@@ -34,6 +34,6 @@ TEST(inv3, test) {
 
 BENCH(inv3, bench) {
   double M[3][3], d;
-  EZBENCH2("det3", donothing, EXPROPRIATE((d = det3(kBradford))));
-  EZBENCH2("inv3", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(inv3(M, kBradford, d)));
+  EZBENCH2("det3", donothing, __expropriate((d = det3(kBradford))));
+  EZBENCH2("inv3", donothing, __expropriate(inv3(M, kBradford, d)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/fexecve_test.c b/test/libc/calls/fexecve_test.c
index 065c38fad..99141afef 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/fexecve_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/fexecve_test.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 // clang-format off
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 int fds[2];
 char buf[8];
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/pipe_test.c b/test/libc/calls/pipe_test.c
index 0a4e4d9ac..8aab9aef4 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/pipe_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/pipe_test.c
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ char buf[6] = {0};
 struct rlimit rlim = {0, 10};
 
 TEST(pipe, efault) {
-  EXPECT_SYS(EFAULT, -1, pipe(VEIL("r", (void *)0)));
+  EXPECT_SYS(EFAULT, -1, pipe(__veil("r", (void *)0)));
 }
 
 TEST(pipe, einval) {
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/reservefd_test.c b/test/libc/calls/reservefd_test.c
index 8a9127235..7d247c941 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/reservefd_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/reservefd_test.c
@@ -44,8 +44,8 @@
 #include "libc/time/struct/tm.h"
 #include "libc/time/time.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("libc/testlib/hyperion.txt");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("libc/testlib/hyperion.txt");
 
 #define THREADS 8
 
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/setrlimit_test.c b/test/libc/calls/setrlimit_test.c
index 75eedfb86..f135ed884 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/setrlimit_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/setrlimit_test.c
@@ -26,6 +26,7 @@
 #include "libc/intrin/safemacros.internal.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/rand.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/map.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/prot.h"
@@ -128,8 +129,8 @@ TEST(setrlimit, testMemoryLimit) {
   ASSERT_NE(-1, (wstatus = xspawn(0)));
   if (wstatus == -2) {
     ASSERT_EQ(0, SetKernelEnforcedMemoryLimit(MEM));
-    for (gotsome = i = 0; i < (MEM * 2) / APE_GUARDSIZE; ++i) {
-      p = mmap(0, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
+    for (gotsome = i = 0; i < (MEM * 2) / getauxval(AT_PAGESZ); ++i) {
+      p = mmap(0, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
                MAP_ANONYMOUS | MAP_PRIVATE | MAP_POPULATE, -1, 0);
       if (p != MAP_FAILED) {
         gotsome = true;
@@ -141,7 +142,7 @@ TEST(setrlimit, testMemoryLimit) {
         ASSERT_EQ(ENOMEM, errno);
         _Exit(0);
       }
-      rngset(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, _rand64, -1);
+      rngset(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), _rand64, -1);
     }
     _Exit(1);
   }
@@ -161,15 +162,15 @@ TEST(setrlimit, testVirtualMemoryLimit) {
   ASSERT_NE(-1, (wstatus = xspawn(0)));
   if (wstatus == -2) {
     ASSERT_EQ(0, setrlimit(RLIMIT_AS, &(struct rlimit){MEM, MEM}));
-    for (i = 0; i < (MEM * 2) / APE_GUARDSIZE; ++i) {
-      p = sys_mmap(0, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
+    for (i = 0; i < (MEM * 2) / getauxval(AT_PAGESZ); ++i) {
+      p = sys_mmap(0, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
                    MAP_ANONYMOUS | MAP_PRIVATE | MAP_POPULATE, -1, 0)
               .addr;
       if (p == MAP_FAILED) {
         ASSERT_EQ(ENOMEM, errno);
         _Exit(0);
       }
-      rngset(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, _rand64, -1);
+      rngset(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), _rand64, -1);
     }
     _Exit(1);
   }
@@ -191,15 +192,15 @@ TEST(setrlimit, testDataMemoryLimit) {
   ASSERT_NE(-1, (wstatus = xspawn(0)));
   if (wstatus == -2) {
     ASSERT_EQ(0, setrlimit(RLIMIT_DATA, &(struct rlimit){MEM, MEM}));
-    for (i = 0; i < (MEM * 2) / APE_GUARDSIZE; ++i) {
-      p = sys_mmap(0, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
+    for (i = 0; i < (MEM * 2) / getauxval(AT_PAGESZ); ++i) {
+      p = sys_mmap(0, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE,
                    MAP_ANONYMOUS | MAP_PRIVATE | MAP_POPULATE, -1, 0)
               .addr;
       if (p == MAP_FAILED) {
         ASSERT_EQ(ENOMEM, errno);
         _Exit(0);
       }
-      rngset(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, _rand64, -1);
+      rngset(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), _rand64, -1);
     }
     _Exit(1);
   }
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/sigaction_test.c b/test/libc/calls/sigaction_test.c
index 90ff6583e..c41e3818e 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/sigaction_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/sigaction_test.c
@@ -155,7 +155,7 @@ void OnFpe(int sig, struct siginfo *si, void *vctx) {
   ctx->uc_mcontext.rdx = 0;
 }
 
-noubsan void ubsanTrumpsSystemsEngineering(void) {
+dontubsan void ubsanTrumpsSystemsEngineering(void) {
   struct sigaction saint = {.sa_sigaction = OnFpe, .sa_flags = SA_SIGINFO};
   EXPECT_SYS(0, 0, sigaction(SIGFPE, &saint, &oldsa));
   volatile long x = 0;
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/stat_test.c b/test/libc/calls/stat_test.c
index df5f8c933..66239ca9b 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/stat_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/stat_test.c
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 #include "libc/x/x.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 char testlib_enable_tmp_setup_teardown;
 
diff --git a/test/libc/calls/zipread.c b/test/libc/calls/zipread.c
index 7bc09bfe6..a9bc1a3f8 100644
--- a/test/libc/calls/zipread.c
+++ b/test/libc/calls/zipread.c
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   int fd = open("/zip/life.elf", O_RDONLY);
diff --git a/test/libc/fmt/atoi_test.c b/test/libc/fmt/atoi_test.c
index 7afed03f2..a7d2c0780 100644
--- a/test/libc/fmt/atoi_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/fmt/atoi_test.c
@@ -573,29 +573,30 @@ TEST(strtol, invalidHex_consistentWithBsd2) {
 }
 
 BENCH(atoi, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("atoi 10⁸", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(atoi(VEIL("r", "100000000"))));
+  EZBENCH2("atoi 10⁸", donothing,
+           __expropriate(atoi(__veil("r", "100000000"))));
   EZBENCH2("strtol 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strtol(VEIL("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(strtol(__veil("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("strtoul 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strtol(VEIL("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(strtol(__veil("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("wcstol 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wcstol(VEIL("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(wcstol(__veil("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("wcstoul 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wcstol(VEIL("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(wcstol(__veil("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("strtoimax 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strtoimax(VEIL("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(strtoimax(__veil("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("strtoumax 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strtoimax(VEIL("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(strtoimax(__veil("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("wcstoimax 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wcstoimax(VEIL("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(wcstoimax(__veil("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("wcstoumax 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wcstoimax(VEIL("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(wcstoimax(__veil("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("strtoi128 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strtoi128(VEIL("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(strtoi128(__veil("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("strtou128 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strtoi128(VEIL("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(strtoi128(__veil("r", "100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("wcstoi128 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wcstoi128(VEIL("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(wcstoi128(__veil("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
   EZBENCH2("wcstou128 10⁸", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wcstoi128(VEIL("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
+           __expropriate(wcstoi128(__veil("r", L"100000000"), 0, 10)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/bitreverse_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/bitreverse_test.c
index 4e0af4889..bee323e7e 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/bitreverse_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/bitreverse_test.c
@@ -35,9 +35,9 @@ TEST(_bitreverse, test) {
 
 BENCH(_bitreverse, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("_bitreverse8", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(_bitreverse8(CONCEAL("r", 123))));
+           __expropriate(_bitreverse8(__conceal("r", 123))));
   EZBENCH2("_bitreverse32", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(_bitreverse32(CONCEAL("r", 123))));
+           __expropriate(_bitreverse32(__conceal("r", 123))));
   EZBENCH2("_bitreverse64", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(_bitreverse64(CONCEAL("r", 123))));
+           __expropriate(_bitreverse64(__conceal("r", 123))));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/kprintf_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/kprintf_test.c
index 26aa2b0f7..0a2197067 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/kprintf_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/kprintf_test.c
@@ -227,7 +227,7 @@ TEST(ksnprintf, fuzzTheUnbreakable) {
   uint64_t x;
   char *f, b[32];
   _Alignas(FRAMESIZE) static const char weasel[FRAMESIZE];
-  f = VEIL("r", weasel);
+  f = __veil("r", weasel);
   EXPECT_SYS(0, 0, mprotect(f, FRAMESIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
   strcpy(f, "hello %s\n");
   EXPECT_EQ(12, ksnprintf(b, sizeof(b), f, "world"));
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/memset_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/memset_test.c
index d95e0c413..16fe462e5 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/memset_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/memset_test.c
@@ -18,14 +18,14 @@
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 #include "libc/dce.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/asan.internal.h"
-#include "libc/mem/mem.h"
 #include "libc/mem/gc.internal.h"
+#include "libc/mem/mem.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/rand.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/ezbench.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-static noasan void *golden(void *p, int c, size_t n) {
+static dontasan void *golden(void *p, int c, size_t n) {
   size_t i;
   if (IsAsan()) __asan_verify(p, n);
   for (i = 0; i < n; ++i) ((char *)p)[i] = c;
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/morton_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/morton_test.c
index 571cc6705..1280dae74 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/morton_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/morton_test.c
@@ -60,6 +60,6 @@ TEST(unmorton, test) {
 
 BENCH(morton, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("morton", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(morton(CONCEAL("r", 123), CONCEAL("r", 123))));
-  EZBENCH2("unmorton", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(unmorton(CONCEAL("r", 123))));
+           __expropriate(morton(__conceal("r", 123), __conceal("r", 123))));
+  EZBENCH2("unmorton", donothing, __expropriate(unmorton(__conceal("r", 123))));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/popcnt_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/popcnt_test.c
index b8ff51617..e2f291a4f 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/popcnt_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/popcnt_test.c
@@ -16,8 +16,8 @@
 │ TORTIOUS ACTION, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR             │
 │ PERFORMANCE OF THIS SOFTWARE.                                                │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
-#include "libc/calls/calls.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/popcnt.h"
+#include "libc/calls/calls.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/ezbench.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/hyperion.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
@@ -28,14 +28,14 @@ void SetUpOnce(void) {
 
 TEST(popcnt, test) {
   EXPECT_EQ(32, popcnt(0x5555555555555555));
-  EXPECT_EQ(32, popcnt(VEIL("r", 0x5555555555555555)));
-  EXPECT_EQ(32, (popcnt)(VEIL("r", 0x5555555555555555)));
+  EXPECT_EQ(32, popcnt(__veil("r", 0x5555555555555555)));
+  EXPECT_EQ(32, (popcnt)(__veil("r", 0x5555555555555555)));
 }
 
 BENCH(popcnt, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("popcnt", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(popcnt(VEIL("r", 0x5555555555555555))));
+           __expropriate(popcnt(__veil("r", 0x5555555555555555))));
   EZBENCH2("(popcnt)", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE((popcnt)(VEIL("r", 0x5555555555555555))));
+           __expropriate((popcnt)(__veil("r", 0x5555555555555555))));
   EZBENCH_N("_countbits", kHyperionSize, _countbits(kHyperion, kHyperionSize));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/strchr_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/strchr_test.c
index 442ffbb61..98d1e4cba 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/strchr_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/strchr_test.c
@@ -93,15 +93,16 @@ TEST(strchr, fuzz) {
 }
 
 BENCH(strchr, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("strchr 0", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(strchr(VEIL("r", ""), 0)));
-  EZBENCH2("strchr 5", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(strchr(VEIL("r", "hello"), 'o')));
+  EZBENCH2("strchr 0", donothing, __expropriate(strchr(__veil("r", ""), 0)));
+  EZBENCH2("strchr 5", donothing,
+           __expropriate(strchr(__veil("r", "hello"), 'o')));
   EZBENCH2("strchr 8", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strchr(VEIL("r", "hellzzzo"), 'o')));
+           __expropriate(strchr(__veil("r", "hellzzzo"), 'o')));
   EZBENCH2("strchr 17", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strchr(VEIL("r", "hellzzzhellzzzeeo"), 'o')));
+           __expropriate(strchr(__veil("r", "hellzzzhellzzzeeo"), 'o')));
   EZBENCH2("strchr 34", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(
-               strchr(VEIL("r", "hellzzzhellzzzeeAhellzzzhellzzzeeo"), 'o')));
+           __expropriate(
+               strchr(__veil("r", "hellzzzhellzzzeeAhellzzzhellzzzeeo"), 'o')));
 }
 
 char *memchr_pure(const char *m, int c, size_t n) {
diff --git a/test/libc/intrin/strcmp_test.c b/test/libc/intrin/strcmp_test.c
index 49349a05c..c7d9a1bab 100644
--- a/test/libc/intrin/strcmp_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/intrin/strcmp_test.c
@@ -543,37 +543,37 @@ BENCH(bench_00_strcmp, bench) {
   dupe = gc(malloc(size));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [identity]", longstringislong(size, data),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", data), data)));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", data), data)));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [2 diff]", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", "hi"), VEIL("r", "there"))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", "hi"), __veil("r", "there"))));
   EZBENCH2("scmppure [2 diff]", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp_pure(VEIL("r", "hi"), VEIL("r", "there"))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp_pure(__veil("r", "hi"), __veil("r", "there"))));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [2 dupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(2, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
   EZBENCH2("scmp_pure [2 dupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(2, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [4 dupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(4, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
   EZBENCH2("scmp_pure [4 dupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(4, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [8 dupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(8, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
   EZBENCH2("scmp_pure [8 dupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(8, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [sdupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
   EZBENCH2("scmp_pure [sdupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcmp [ldupe]", longstringislong_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
   EZBENCH2("scmp_pure [ldupe]", longstringislong_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 }
 
 BENCH(bench_01_strcasecmp, bench) {
@@ -584,26 +584,28 @@ BENCH(bench_01_strcasecmp, bench) {
   dupe = gc(malloc(size));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcasecmp [iden]", longstringislong(size, data),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasecmp(VEIL("r", data), data)));
+           __expropriate(strcasecmp(__veil("r", data), data)));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcasecmp [sdupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasecmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
-  EZBENCH2("sccmp_pure [sdupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasecmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcasecmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
+  EZBENCH2(
+      "sccmp_pure [sdupe]", randomize_buf2str_dupe(size, data, dupe),
+      __expropriate(strcasecmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 
   EZBENCH2("strcasecmp [ldupe]", longstringislong_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasecmp(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
-  EZBENCH2("sccmp_pure [ldupe]", longstringislong_dupe(size, data, dupe),
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasecmp_pure(VEIL("r", data), VEIL("r", dupe))));
+           __expropriate(strcasecmp(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
+  EZBENCH2(
+      "sccmp_pure [ldupe]", longstringislong_dupe(size, data, dupe),
+      __expropriate(strcasecmp_pure(__veil("r", data), __veil("r", dupe))));
 }
 
 BENCH(memcmp, bench) {
   volatile char *copy = gc(strdup(kHyperion));
   EZBENCH2("memcmp big", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memcmp(kHyperion, copy, kHyperionSize)));
+           __expropriate(memcmp(kHyperion, copy, kHyperionSize)));
   copy = gc(strdup("tough little ship"));
   EZBENCH2("memcmp 18", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memcmp("tough little ship", copy, 18)));
+           __expropriate(memcmp("tough little ship", copy, 18)));
 }
 
 /* jart
diff --git a/test/libc/log/backtrace_test.c b/test/libc/log/backtrace_test.c
index adf9cfea8..5ffb88f82 100644
--- a/test/libc/log/backtrace_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/log/backtrace_test.c
@@ -41,8 +41,8 @@
 #include "net/http/escape.h"
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("backtrace.com");
-STATIC_YOINK("backtrace.com.dbg");
+__static_yoink("backtrace.com");
+__static_yoink("backtrace.com.dbg");
 
 char testlib_enable_tmp_setup_teardown_once;
 
diff --git a/test/libc/nexgen32e/memrchr_test.c b/test/libc/nexgen32e/memrchr_test.c
index 4d4c4634d..f218d3028 100644
--- a/test/libc/nexgen32e/memrchr_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/nexgen32e/memrchr_test.c
@@ -26,5 +26,6 @@ TEST(memrchr, test) {
 }
 
 BENCH(memrchr, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("memrchr", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(memrchr("yo.hi.there", '.', 11)));
+  EZBENCH2("memrchr", donothing,
+           __expropriate(memrchr("yo.hi.there", '.', 11)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/nexgen32e/strcspn_test.c b/test/libc/nexgen32e/strcspn_test.c
index 9c439c151..51fc2762c 100644
--- a/test/libc/nexgen32e/strcspn_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/nexgen32e/strcspn_test.c
@@ -36,14 +36,14 @@ TEST(strcspn, test) {
 
 BENCH(strcspn, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("strcspn", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(
+           __expropriate(
                strcspn("pABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPABCDEFGHIJKLMNO", "abcdefghijklmnp")));
   EZBENCH2("strcspn", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(
+           __expropriate(
                strcspn("ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPABCDEFGHIJKLMNOp", "abcdefghijklmnp")));
   EZBENCH2(
       "strcspn", donothing,
-      EXPROPRIATE(strcspn(
+      __expropriate(strcspn(
           "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPABCDEFGHIJKLMNOABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPABCDEFGHIJKLMNOp",
           "abcdefghijklmnp")));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/runtime/grow_test.c b/test/libc/runtime/grow_test.c
index a3a2338bc..0564b7c52 100644
--- a/test/libc/runtime/grow_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/runtime/grow_test.c
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("realloc");
+__static_yoink("realloc");
 
 TEST(grow, testNull_hasAllocatingBehavior) {
   void *p = NULL;
diff --git a/test/libc/runtime/itsatrap_test.c b/test/libc/runtime/itsatrap_test.c
index 2946ef585..12defd58e 100644
--- a/test/libc/runtime/itsatrap_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/runtime/itsatrap_test.c
@@ -50,128 +50,128 @@ void SetUp(void) {
 /* 32-BIT SIGNED NEGATION */
 
 TEST(__negvsi2, testMax) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(-INT_MAX, -VEIL("r", INT_MAX));
+  EXPECT_EQ(-INT_MAX, -__veil("r", INT_MAX));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__negvsi2, testMin0) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(-VEIL("r", INT_MIN));
+  __expropriate(-__veil("r", INT_MIN));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 /* 64-BIT SIGNED NEGATION */
 
 TEST(__negvdi2, testMax) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(-LONG_MAX, -VEIL("r", LONG_MAX));
+  EXPECT_EQ(-LONG_MAX, -__veil("r", LONG_MAX));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__negvdi2, testMin0) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(-VEIL("r", LONG_MIN));
+  __expropriate(-__veil("r", LONG_MIN));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 /* 32-BIT SIGNED MULTIPLICATION */
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, testMin0) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * VEIL("r", INT_MIN));
+  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * __veil("r", INT_MIN));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, testMin1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MIN, 1 * VEIL("r", INT_MIN));
+  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MIN, 1 * __veil("r", INT_MIN));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, testMin2) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(2 * VEIL("r", INT_MIN));
+  __expropriate(2 * __veil("r", INT_MIN));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, testMax0) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * VEIL("r", INT_MAX));
+  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * __veil("r", INT_MAX));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, testMax1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MAX, 1 * VEIL("r", INT_MAX));
+  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MAX, 1 * __veil("r", INT_MAX));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, testMax2) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(2 * VEIL("r", INT_MAX));
+  __expropriate(2 * __veil("r", INT_MAX));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, test7) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(0x70000000, 7 * VEIL("r", 0x10000000));
+  EXPECT_EQ(0x70000000, 7 * __veil("r", 0x10000000));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, test8) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(8 * VEIL("r", 0x10000000));
+  __expropriate(8 * __veil("r", 0x10000000));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, test31337) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(0x31337 * VEIL("r", 0x31337));
+  __expropriate(0x31337 * __veil("r", 0x31337));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvsi3, standAndDeliver_aNegativeTimesANegativeEqualsAPositive) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(25, -5 * VEIL("r", -5));
+  EXPECT_EQ(25, -5 * __veil("r", -5));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 /* 64-BIT SIGNED MULTIPLICATION */
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, testMin0) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * VEIL("r", LONG_MIN));
+  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * __veil("r", LONG_MIN));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, testMin1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MIN, 1 * VEIL("r", LONG_MIN));
+  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MIN, 1 * __veil("r", LONG_MIN));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, testMin2) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(2 * VEIL("r", LONG_MIN));
+  __expropriate(2 * __veil("r", LONG_MIN));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, testMax0) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * VEIL("r", LONG_MAX));
+  EXPECT_EQ(0, 0 * __veil("r", LONG_MAX));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, testMax1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MAX, 1 * VEIL("r", LONG_MAX));
+  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MAX, 1 * __veil("r", LONG_MAX));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, testMax2) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(2 * VEIL("r", LONG_MAX));
+  __expropriate(2 * __veil("r", LONG_MAX));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, test7) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(0x7000000000000000l, 7 * VEIL("r", 0x1000000000000000l));
+  EXPECT_EQ(0x7000000000000000l, 7 * __veil("r", 0x1000000000000000l));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, test8) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(8 * VEIL("r", 0x1000000000000000l));
+  __expropriate(8 * __veil("r", 0x1000000000000000l));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, test31337) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(0x3133700000000l * VEIL("r", 0x3133700000000l));
+  __expropriate(0x3133700000000l * __veil("r", 0x3133700000000l));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__mulvdi3, standAndDeliver_aNegativeTimesANegativeEqualsAPositive) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(25l, -5l * VEIL("r", -5l));
+  EXPECT_EQ(25l, -5l * __veil("r", -5l));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
@@ -188,73 +188,73 @@ TEST(__mulvdi3, testOverflow) {
 /* 32-BIT SIGNED ADDITION */
 
 TEST(__addvsi3, testMin1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MIN + 1, 1 + VEIL("r", INT_MIN));
+  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MIN + 1, 1 + __veil("r", INT_MIN));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__addvsi3, testMax1) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(1 + VEIL("r", INT_MAX));
+  __expropriate(1 + __veil("r", INT_MAX));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__addvsi3, testNegPos) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(2, -2 + VEIL("r", 4));
+  EXPECT_EQ(2, -2 + __veil("r", 4));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__addvsi3, testPosNeg) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(-2, 2 + VEIL("r", -4));
+  EXPECT_EQ(-2, 2 + __veil("r", -4));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 /* 64-BIT SIGNED ADDITION */
 
 TEST(__addvdi3, testMin1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MIN + 1, 1 + VEIL("r", LONG_MIN));
+  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MIN + 1, 1 + __veil("r", LONG_MIN));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__addvdi3, testMax1) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(1 + VEIL("r", LONG_MAX));
+  __expropriate(1 + __veil("r", LONG_MAX));
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__addvdi3, testNegPos) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(2l, -2l + VEIL("r", 4l));
+  EXPECT_EQ(2l, -2l + __veil("r", 4l));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__addvdi3, testPosNeg) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(-2l, 2l + VEIL("r", -4l));
+  EXPECT_EQ(-2l, 2l + __veil("r", -4l));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 /* 32-BIT SIGNED SUBTRACTION */
 
 TEST(__subvsi3, testMin1) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(VEIL("r", INT_MIN) - 1);
+  __expropriate(__veil("r", INT_MIN) - 1);
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__subvsi3, testMax1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MAX - 1, VEIL("r", INT_MAX) - 1);
+  EXPECT_EQ(INT_MAX - 1, __veil("r", INT_MAX) - 1);
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__subvsi3, testPosNeg) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(-2, 2 - VEIL("r", 4));
+  EXPECT_EQ(-2, 2 - __veil("r", 4));
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 /* 64-BIT SIGNED SUBTRACTION */
 
 TEST(__subvdi3, testMin1) {
-  EXPROPRIATE(VEIL("r", LONG_MIN) - 1);
+  __expropriate(__veil("r", LONG_MIN) - 1);
   EXPECT_TRUE(overflowed_);
 }
 
 TEST(__subvdi3, testMax1) {
-  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MAX - 1, VEIL("r", LONG_MAX) - 1);
+  EXPECT_EQ(LONG_MAX - 1, __veil("r", LONG_MAX) - 1);
   EXPECT_FALSE(overflowed_);
 }
 
diff --git a/test/libc/runtime/mmap_test.c b/test/libc/runtime/mmap_test.c
index 5160e84fb..453305575 100644
--- a/test/libc/runtime/mmap_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/runtime/mmap_test.c
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@
 #include "libc/x/xspawn.h"
 #include "third_party/xed/x86.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 char testlib_enable_tmp_setup_teardown;
 
diff --git a/test/libc/runtime/mprotect_test.c b/test/libc/runtime/mprotect_test.c
index 7a662097a..48f36af10 100644
--- a/test/libc/runtime/mprotect_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/runtime/mprotect_test.c
@@ -28,6 +28,7 @@
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/map.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/prot.h"
@@ -116,9 +117,9 @@ void TearDown(void) {
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testOkMemory) {
-  char *p = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
+  char *p = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
   p[0] = 0;
-  ASSERT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
+  ASSERT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
   p[0] = 1;
   EXPECT_EQ(1, p[0]);
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
@@ -127,19 +128,19 @@ TEST(mprotect, testOkMemory) {
 
 TEST(mprotect, testSegfault_writeToReadOnlyAnonymous) {
   volatile char *p;
-  p = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
+  p = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
   p[0] = 1;
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotbusted);
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ));
   _missingno(p[0]);
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotbusted);
   p[0] = 2;
   EXPECT_TRUE(gotsegv | gotbusted);
   EXPECT_EQ(1, p[0]);
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testExecOnly_canExecute) {
@@ -159,33 +160,34 @@ TEST(mprotect, testExecOnly_canExecute) {
 
 TEST(mprotect, testProtNone_cantEvenRead) {
   volatile char *p;
-  p = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_NONE));
+  p = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_NONE));
   _missingno(p[0]);
   EXPECT_TRUE(gotsegv | gotbusted);
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testExecJit_actuallyWorks) {
-  int (*p)(void) = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
+  int (*p)(void) = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
   memcpy(p, kRet31337, sizeof(kRet31337));
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_EXEC));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_EXEC));
   EXPECT_EQ(31337, p());
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotbusted);
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testRwxMap_vonNeumannRules) {
   if (IsOpenbsd()) return;     // boo
   if (IsXnuSilicon()) return;  // boo
-  int (*p)(void) = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
+  int (*p)(void) = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
   memcpy(p, kRet31337, sizeof(kRet31337));
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE | PROT_EXEC));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ),
+                         PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE | PROT_EXEC));
   EXPECT_EQ(31337, p());
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotbusted);
-  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
+  EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), PROT_READ | PROT_WRITE));
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testExecuteFlatFileMapOpenedAsReadonly) {
@@ -220,13 +222,13 @@ TEST(mprotect, testFileMap_canChangeToExecWhileOpenInRdwrMode) {
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testBadProt_failsEinval) {
-  volatile char *p = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
+  volatile char *p = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
   EXPECT_EQ(-1, mprotect(p, 9999, -1));
   EXPECT_EQ(EINVAL, errno);
 }
 
 TEST(mprotect, testZeroSize_doesNothing) {
-  volatile char *p = gc(memalign(APE_GUARDSIZE, APE_GUARDSIZE));
+  volatile char *p = gc(memalign(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)));
   EXPECT_NE(-1, mprotect(p, 0, PROT_READ));
   p[0] = 1;
   EXPECT_FALSE(gotsegv);
diff --git a/test/libc/runtime/test.mk b/test/libc/runtime/test.mk
index 5a462cc9c..fa4d9e295 100644
--- a/test/libc/runtime/test.mk
+++ b/test/libc/runtime/test.mk
@@ -82,10 +82,15 @@ o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/itsatrap_test.o: private			\
 			-fno-sanitize=all				\
 			-ftrapv
 
+ifeq ($(ARCH), aarch64)
+FTRACEASM_LDSCRIPT = o/$(MODE)/ape/aarch64.lds
+endif
+
 o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/prog/ftraceasm.elf:				\
 		$(TEST_LIBC_RUNTIME_DEPS)				\
 		o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/prog/ftraceasm.o		\
-		o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/runtime.pkg
+		o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/runtime.pkg			\
+		$(FTRACEASM_LDSCRIPT)
 	@$(ELFLINK)
 o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/prog/ftraceasm.txt:				\
 		o/$(MODE)/test/libc/runtime/prog/ftraceasm.elf
diff --git a/test/libc/runtime/tls_test.c b/test/libc/runtime/tls_test.c
index 220f77524..6624cb55b 100644
--- a/test/libc/runtime/tls_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/runtime/tls_test.c
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ _Thread_local long x;
 _Thread_local long y[1] = {40};
 _Alignas(A) _Thread_local long a;
 
-noubsan void *Worker(void *arg) {
+dontubsan void *Worker(void *arg) {
   ASSERT_EQ(42, x + y[0] + z);
   ASSERT_EQ(0, (intptr_t)&a & (A - 1));
   if (IsAsan()) {
diff --git a/test/libc/stdio/dirstream_test.c b/test/libc/stdio/dirstream_test.c
index cb0b345cc..8d7d672d2 100644
--- a/test/libc/stdio/dirstream_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/stdio/dirstream_test.c
@@ -29,8 +29,8 @@
 #include "libc/x/xasprintf.h"
 #include "libc/x/xiso8601.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("usr/share/zoneinfo/New_York");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("usr/share/zoneinfo/New_York");
 
 char testlib_enable_tmp_setup_teardown;
 
diff --git a/test/libc/stdio/palandprintf_test.c b/test/libc/stdio/palandprintf_test.c
index 5e6a3349c..6ca7e26e5 100644
--- a/test/libc/stdio/palandprintf_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/stdio/palandprintf_test.c
@@ -633,33 +633,36 @@ TEST(vsnprintf, issue785) {
 }
 
 BENCH(palandprintf, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("ascii", donothing, Format(VEIL("r", "hiuhcreohucreo")));
-  EZBENCH2("ascii %s", donothing, Format("%s", VEIL("r", "hiuhcreohucreo")));
-  EZBENCH2("ascii %`'s", donothing, Format("%`'s", VEIL("r", "hiuhcreohucre")));
-  EZBENCH2("utf8 %s", donothing, Format("%s", VEIL("r", "hi (╯°□°)╯")));
-  EZBENCH2("snprintf %hs", donothing, Format("%hs", VEIL("r", u"hi (╯°□°)╯")));
-  EZBENCH2("snprintf %ls", donothing, Format("%ls", VEIL("r", L"hi (╯°□°)╯")));
-  EZBENCH2("23 %x", donothing, Format("%x", VEIL("r", 23)));
-  EZBENCH2("23 %d", donothing, Format("%d", VEIL("r", 23)));
-  EZBENCH2("%f M_PI", donothing, Format("%f", VEIL("x", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("%g M_PI", donothing, Format("%g", VEIL("x", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("%a M_PI", donothing, Format("%a", VEIL("x", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("%e M_PI", donothing, Format("%e", VEIL("x", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("ULONG_MAX %lo", donothing, Format("%lo", VEIL("r", ULONG_MAX)));
-  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %x", donothing, Format("%x", VEIL("r", INT_MIN)));
-  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %d", donothing, Format("%d", VEIL("r", INT_MIN)));
-  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %,d", donothing, Format("%,d", VEIL("r", INT_MIN)));
-  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %ld", donothing, Format("%ld", (long)VEIL("r", INT_MIN)));
-  EZBENCH2("LONG_MIN %lx", donothing, Format("%lx", VEIL("r", LONG_MIN)));
-  EZBENCH2("LONG_MIN %ld", donothing, Format("%ld", VEIL("r", LONG_MIN)));
+  EZBENCH2("ascii", donothing, Format(__veil("r", "hiuhcreohucreo")));
+  EZBENCH2("ascii %s", donothing, Format("%s", __veil("r", "hiuhcreohucreo")));
+  EZBENCH2("ascii %`'s", donothing,
+           Format("%`'s", __veil("r", "hiuhcreohucre")));
+  EZBENCH2("utf8 %s", donothing, Format("%s", __veil("r", "hi (╯°□°)╯")));
+  EZBENCH2("snprintf %hs", donothing,
+           Format("%hs", __veil("r", u"hi (╯°□°)╯")));
+  EZBENCH2("snprintf %ls", donothing,
+           Format("%ls", __veil("r", L"hi (╯°□°)╯")));
+  EZBENCH2("23 %x", donothing, Format("%x", __veil("r", 23)));
+  EZBENCH2("23 %d", donothing, Format("%d", __veil("r", 23)));
+  EZBENCH2("%f M_PI", donothing, Format("%f", __veil("x", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%g M_PI", donothing, Format("%g", __veil("x", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%a M_PI", donothing, Format("%a", __veil("x", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%e M_PI", donothing, Format("%e", __veil("x", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("ULONG_MAX %lo", donothing, Format("%lo", __veil("r", ULONG_MAX)));
+  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %x", donothing, Format("%x", __veil("r", INT_MIN)));
+  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %d", donothing, Format("%d", __veil("r", INT_MIN)));
+  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %,d", donothing, Format("%,d", __veil("r", INT_MIN)));
+  EZBENCH2("INT_MIN %ld", donothing, Format("%ld", (long)__veil("r", INT_MIN)));
+  EZBENCH2("LONG_MIN %lx", donothing, Format("%lx", __veil("r", LONG_MIN)));
+  EZBENCH2("LONG_MIN %ld", donothing, Format("%ld", __veil("r", LONG_MIN)));
   EZBENCH2("INT128_MIN %jjd", donothing, Format("%jjd", INT128_MIN));
   EZBENCH2("INT128_MIN %jjx", donothing, Format("%jjx", INT128_MIN));
   EZBENCH2("int64toarray 23", donothing, FormatInt64(buffer, 23));
   EZBENCH2("int64toarray min", donothing, FormatInt64(buffer, INT_MIN));
 #ifdef __x86__
-  EZBENCH2("%Lf M_PI", donothing, Format("%Lf", VEIL("t", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("%Lg M_PI", donothing, Format("%Lg", VEIL("t", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("%La M_PI", donothing, Format("%La", VEIL("t", M_PI)));
-  EZBENCH2("%Le M_PI", donothing, Format("%Le", VEIL("t", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%Lf M_PI", donothing, Format("%Lf", __veil("t", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%Lg M_PI", donothing, Format("%Lg", __veil("t", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%La M_PI", donothing, Format("%La", __veil("t", M_PI)));
+  EZBENCH2("%Le M_PI", donothing, Format("%Le", __veil("t", M_PI)));
 #endif
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/stdio/sprintf_s.inc b/test/libc/stdio/sprintf_s.inc
index 497892e77..34529810c 100644
--- a/test/libc/stdio/sprintf_s.inc
+++ b/test/libc/stdio/sprintf_s.inc
@@ -18,9 +18,9 @@
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 
 /* MODE=tiny makes these dependencies optional */
-STATIC_YOINK("strnwidth");
-STATIC_YOINK("strnwidth16");
-STATIC_YOINK("wcsnwidth");
+__static_yoink("strnwidth");
+__static_yoink("strnwidth16");
+__static_yoink("wcsnwidth");
 
 TEST(SUITE(sprintf), testStringLength) {
   ASSERT_STREQ("This", Format(FORMAT("%.4"), STRING("This is a test")));
diff --git a/test/libc/stdio/system_test.c b/test/libc/stdio/system_test.c
index 181093689..5ddb15010 100644
--- a/test/libc/stdio/system_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/stdio/system_test.c
@@ -30,8 +30,8 @@
 #include "libc/x/x.h"
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_tr");
-STATIC_YOINK("glob");
+__static_yoink("_tr");
+__static_yoink("glob");
 
 char testlib_enable_tmp_setup_teardown;
 
diff --git a/test/libc/str/crc32c_test.c b/test/libc/str/crc32c_test.c
index dc3cd9d1c..00f50ce92 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/crc32c_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/crc32c_test.c
@@ -74,15 +74,17 @@ BENCH(crc32c, bench) {
     EZBENCH_N("crc32c", i, crc32c(0, kHyperion, i));
     EZBENCH_N("crc32_z", i, crc32_z(0, kHyperion, i));
     EZBENCH_N("fnv_hash", i,
-              EXPROPRIATE(fnv_hash(VEIL("r", kHyperion), VEIL("r", i))));
-    EZBENCH_N("KMH", i, EXPROPRIATE(KMH(VEIL("r", kHyperion), VEIL("r", i))));
+              __expropriate(fnv_hash(__veil("r", kHyperion), __veil("r", i))));
+    EZBENCH_N("KMH", i,
+              __expropriate(KMH(__veil("r", kHyperion), __veil("r", i))));
     fprintf(stderr, "\n");
   }
   EZBENCH_N("crc32c", kHyperionSize, crc32c(0, kHyperion, kHyperionSize));
   EZBENCH_N("crc32_z", kHyperionSize, crc32_z(0, kHyperion, kHyperionSize));
+  EZBENCH_N("fnv_hash", kHyperionSize,
+            __expropriate(
+                fnv_hash(__veil("r", kHyperion), __veil("r", kHyperionSize))));
   EZBENCH_N(
-      "fnv_hash", kHyperionSize,
-      EXPROPRIATE(fnv_hash(VEIL("r", kHyperion), VEIL("r", kHyperionSize))));
-  EZBENCH_N("KMH", kHyperionSize,
-            EXPROPRIATE(KMH(VEIL("r", kHyperion), VEIL("r", kHyperionSize))));
+      "KMH", kHyperionSize,
+      __expropriate(KMH(__veil("r", kHyperion), __veil("r", kHyperionSize))));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/highwayhash64_test.c b/test/libc/str/highwayhash64_test.c
index 201bbbe8d..30cbb88c7 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/highwayhash64_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/highwayhash64_test.c
@@ -113,10 +113,10 @@ BENCH(highwayhash64, newbench) {
 
 BENCH(highwayhash64, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("knuth small", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(KnuthMultiplicativeHash32(VEIL("r", "hello"), 5)));
+           __expropriate(KnuthMultiplicativeHash32(__veil("r", "hello"), 5)));
   EZBENCH2("crc32c small", donothing, crc32c(0, "hello", 5));
   EZBENCH2("crc32 small", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(crc32_z(0, VEIL("r", "hello"), 5)));
+           __expropriate(crc32_z(0, __veil("r", "hello"), 5)));
   EZBENCH2("highwayhash64 small", donothing,
            HighwayHash64((void *)"hello", 5, kTestKey1));
   EZBENCH2("crc32 big", donothing, crc32_z(0, kHyperion, kHyperionSize));
@@ -124,6 +124,6 @@ BENCH(highwayhash64, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("highwayhash64 big", donothing,
            HighwayHash64((void *)kHyperion, kHyperionSize, kTestKey1));
   EZBENCH2("knuth big", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(
-               KnuthMultiplicativeHash32(VEIL("r", kHyperion), kHyperionSize)));
+           __expropriate(KnuthMultiplicativeHash32(__veil("r", kHyperion),
+                                                   kHyperionSize)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/memcasecmp_test.c b/test/libc/str/memcasecmp_test.c
index baf0fea6f..f98337527 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/memcasecmp_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/memcasecmp_test.c
@@ -16,8 +16,8 @@
 │ TORTIOUS ACTION, ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR             │
 │ PERFORMANCE OF THIS SOFTWARE.                                                │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
-#include "libc/mem/mem.h"
 #include "libc/mem/gc.internal.h"
+#include "libc/mem/mem.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/ezbench.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/hyperion.h"
@@ -35,5 +35,5 @@ TEST(memcasecmp, test) {
 BENCH(memcasecmp, bench) {
   volatile char *copy = gc(strdup(kHyperion));
   EZBENCH2("memcasecmp", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memcasecmp(kHyperion, copy, kHyperionSize)));
+           __expropriate(memcasecmp(kHyperion, copy, kHyperionSize)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/memcpy_test.c b/test/libc/str/memcpy_test.c
index 25eee7ec6..11bf35d83 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/memcpy_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/memcpy_test.c
@@ -154,20 +154,20 @@ TEST(memcpy, testBackwardsOverlap3) {
   volatile char *c;
   c = malloc(3);
   memcpy(c, "\e[C", 3);
-  memcpy(c, c + 1, VEIL("r", 3) - 1);
+  memcpy(c, c + 1, __veil("r", 3) - 1);
   EXPECT_EQ('[', c[0]);
   EXPECT_EQ('C', c[1]);
   free(c);
 }
 
-#define B(F, N)                                              \
-  do {                                                       \
-    char *d = rngset(malloc(N), N, _rand64, -1);             \
-    char *s = rngset(malloc(N), N, _rand64, -1);             \
-    EZBENCH2(#F " " #N, donothing,                           \
-             EXPROPRIATE(F(VEIL("r", d), VEIL("r", s), N))); \
-    free(d);                                                 \
-    free(s);                                                 \
+#define B(F, N)                                                    \
+  do {                                                             \
+    char *d = rngset(malloc(N), N, _rand64, -1);                   \
+    char *s = rngset(malloc(N), N, _rand64, -1);                   \
+    EZBENCH2(#F " " #N, donothing,                                 \
+             __expropriate(F(__veil("r", d), __veil("r", s), N))); \
+    free(d);                                                       \
+    free(s);                                                       \
   } while (0)
 
 void BB(size_t N) {
diff --git a/test/libc/str/memmem_test.c b/test/libc/str/memmem_test.c
index f8b7ba222..75fc028a8 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/memmem_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/memmem_test.c
@@ -193,11 +193,11 @@ TEST(memmem, fuzz) {
  */
 BENCH(memmem, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("memmem naive", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memmem_naive(kHyperion, kHyperionSize, "THE END", 7)));
+           __expropriate(memmem_naive(kHyperion, kHyperionSize, "THE END", 7)));
   EZBENCH2("memmem", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memmem(kHyperion, kHyperionSize, "THE END", 7)));
+           __expropriate(memmem(kHyperion, kHyperionSize, "THE END", 7)));
   EZBENCH2("memmem", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memmem(
+           __expropriate(memmem(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                62, "aaaaaab", 7)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/memrchr16_test.c b/test/libc/str/memrchr16_test.c
index f18b8873f..32c909aa1 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/memrchr16_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/memrchr16_test.c
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ TEST(memrchr16, test) {
 
 BENCH(memrchr16, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("memrchr16", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memrchr16(u"yo.hi.there", '.', 11)));
+           __expropriate(memrchr16(u"yo.hi.there", '.', 11)));
   EZBENCH2("memrchr16 hyperion", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(memrchr16(kHyperion, '.', kHyperionSize / 2)));
+           __expropriate(memrchr16(kHyperion, '.', kHyperionSize / 2)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/strcasecmp_test.c b/test/libc/str/strcasecmp_test.c
index 32aa33406..46bd82982 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/strcasecmp_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/strcasecmp_test.c
@@ -32,9 +32,9 @@ TEST(strcasecmp, test) {
 
 BENCH(strcasecmp, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("strcasecmp 16 eq (same)", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(
-               strcasecmp(VEIL("r", "abcdefghijklmnop"), "abcdefghijklmnop")));
+           __expropriate(strcasecmp(__veil("r", "abcdefghijklmnop"),
+                                    "abcdefghijklmnop")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasecmp 16 eq (evil)", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(
-               strcasecmp(VEIL("r", "abcdefghijklmnop"), "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP")));
+           __expropriate(strcasecmp(__veil("r", "abcdefghijklmnop"),
+                                    "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP")));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/strcasestr_test.c b/test/libc/str/strcasestr_test.c
index 518e5bb67..8452356c6 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/strcasestr_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/strcasestr_test.c
@@ -122,41 +122,41 @@ TEST(strcasestr, test) {
  */
 BENCH(strcasestr, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr naive", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr_naive(kHyperion, "THE END")));
+           __expropriate(strcasestr_naive(kHyperion, "THE END")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(kHyperion, "THE END")));
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(kHyperion, "THE END")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr tort 1", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "B")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr tort 2", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "ab")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr tort 4", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "aaab")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr tort 8", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "aaaaaaab")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr tort 16", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaab")));
   EZBENCH2("strcasestr tort 32", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strcasestr(
+           __expropriate(strcasestr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
diff --git a/test/libc/str/strlcpy_test.c b/test/libc/str/strlcpy_test.c
index 5cf8a2864..3e79667c8 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/strlcpy_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/strlcpy_test.c
@@ -40,8 +40,10 @@ TEST(strlcpy, testShortBuffer_copies) {
 
 BENCH(strlcpy, bench) {
   char buf[256];
-  EZBENCH2("strlcpy", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strlcpy(VEIL("r", buf), "hello there", sizeof(buf))));
-  EZBENCH2("strncpy", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strncpy(VEIL("r", buf), "hello there", sizeof(buf))));
+  EZBENCH2(
+      "strlcpy", donothing,
+      __expropriate(strlcpy(__veil("r", buf), "hello there", sizeof(buf))));
+  EZBENCH2(
+      "strncpy", donothing,
+      __expropriate(strncpy(__veil("r", buf), "hello there", sizeof(buf))));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/strnwidth_test.c b/test/libc/str/strnwidth_test.c
index 75d77a2a5..61447592b 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/strnwidth_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/strnwidth_test.c
@@ -53,5 +53,5 @@ TEST(strwidth, cjk) {
 }
 
 BENCH(strnwidth, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("strnwidth", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(strnwidth(kHyperion, -1, 0)));
+  EZBENCH2("strnwidth", donothing, __expropriate(strnwidth(kHyperion, -1, 0)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/strstr_test.c b/test/libc/str/strstr_test.c
index 99fb6b589..aaa772107 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/strstr_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/strstr_test.c
@@ -129,40 +129,40 @@ TEST(strstr, breakit) {
  */
 BENCH(strstr, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("strstr naive", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr_naive(kHyperion, "THE END")));
-  EZBENCH2("strstr", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(strstr(kHyperion, "THE END")));
+           __expropriate(strstr_naive(kHyperion, "THE END")));
+  EZBENCH2("strstr", donothing, __expropriate(strstr(kHyperion, "THE END")));
   EZBENCH2("strstr torture 1", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr(
+           __expropriate(strstr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "b")));
   EZBENCH2("strstr torture 2", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr(
+           __expropriate(strstr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "ab")));
   EZBENCH2("strstr torture 4", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr(
+           __expropriate(strstr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "aaab")));
   EZBENCH2("strstr torture 8", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr(
+           __expropriate(strstr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "aaaaaaab")));
   EZBENCH2("strstr torture 16", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr(
+           __expropriate(strstr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaab")));
   EZBENCH2("strstr torture 32", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(strstr(
+           __expropriate(strstr(
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
                "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaab",
diff --git a/test/libc/str/towupper_test.c b/test/libc/str/towupper_test.c
index 48907900a..58bbb0328 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/towupper_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/towupper_test.c
@@ -44,39 +44,45 @@ TEST(towlower, test) {
 }
 
 BENCH(towupper, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("towupper ascii", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(towupper(VEIL("r", L'a'))));
+  EZBENCH2("towupper ascii", donothing,
+           __expropriate(towupper(__veil("r", L'a'))));
   EZBENCH2("towupper latin1", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(towupper(VEIL("r", u'A'))));
+           __expropriate(towupper(__veil("r", u'A'))));
   EZBENCH2("towupper watinc", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(towupper(VEIL("r", u'Ỿ'))));
-  EZBENCH2("towupper greek", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(towupper(VEIL("r", u'α'))));
+           __expropriate(towupper(__veil("r", u'Ỿ'))));
+  EZBENCH2("towupper greek", donothing,
+           __expropriate(towupper(__veil("r", u'α'))));
   EZBENCH2("towupper astral", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(towupper(VEIL("r", L'𝛿'))));
+           __expropriate(towupper(__veil("r", L'𝛿'))));
 }
 
 BENCH(towlower, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("towlower ascii", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(towlower(VEIL("r", L'a'))));
+  EZBENCH2("towlower ascii", donothing,
+           __expropriate(towlower(__veil("r", L'a'))));
   EZBENCH2("towlower latin1", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(towlower(VEIL("r", u'A'))));
+           __expropriate(towlower(__veil("r", u'A'))));
   EZBENCH2("towlower watinc", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(towlower(VEIL("r", u'Ỿ'))));
-  EZBENCH2("towlower greek", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(towupper(VEIL("r", u'α'))));
+           __expropriate(towlower(__veil("r", u'Ỿ'))));
+  EZBENCH2("towlower greek", donothing,
+           __expropriate(towupper(__veil("r", u'α'))));
   EZBENCH2("towlower astral", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(towlower(VEIL("r", L'𝛿'))));
+           __expropriate(towlower(__veil("r", L'𝛿'))));
 }
 
 BENCH(iswupper, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("iswupper ascii", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(iswupper(VEIL("r", L'A'))));
+  EZBENCH2("iswupper ascii", donothing,
+           __expropriate(iswupper(__veil("r", L'A'))));
   EZBENCH2("iswupper latin1", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(iswupper(VEIL("r", u'A'))));
+           __expropriate(iswupper(__veil("r", u'A'))));
   EZBENCH2("iswupper astral", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(iswupper(VEIL("r", L'𝛿'))));
+           __expropriate(iswupper(__veil("r", L'𝛿'))));
 }
 
 BENCH(iswlower, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("iswlower ascii", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(iswlower(VEIL("r", L'a'))));
+  EZBENCH2("iswlower ascii", donothing,
+           __expropriate(iswlower(__veil("r", L'a'))));
   EZBENCH2("iswlower latin1", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(iswlower(VEIL("r", u'A'))));
+           __expropriate(iswlower(__veil("r", u'A'))));
   EZBENCH2("iswlower astral", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(iswlower(VEIL("r", L'𝛿'))));
+           __expropriate(iswlower(__veil("r", L'𝛿'))));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/tpenc_test.c b/test/libc/str/tpenc_test.c
index f70abb5d9..48455ad5e 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/tpenc_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/tpenc_test.c
@@ -23,7 +23,7 @@
 #include "libc/testlib/ezbench.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strwidth");
+__static_yoink("strwidth");
 
 volatile uint64_t v;
 
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ TEST(_tpenc, testBeyondTheStandard) {
 }
 
 uint64_t _Tpenc(int x) {
-  return (v = EXPROPRIATE(_tpenc(VEIL("r", x))));
+  return (v = __expropriate(_tpenc(__veil("r", x))));
 }
 
 BENCH(_tpenc, bench) {
diff --git a/test/libc/str/wcwidth_test.c b/test/libc/str/wcwidth_test.c
index c463952a7..11b1d374f 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/wcwidth_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/wcwidth_test.c
@@ -77,5 +77,5 @@ TEST(strwidth, testTextDelimitingControlCodes_dontHaveSubstance) {
 
 BENCH(wcwidth, bench) {
   volatile int x;
-  EZBENCH2("wcwidth", donothing, x = wcwidth(VEIL("r", u'→')));
+  EZBENCH2("wcwidth", donothing, x = wcwidth(__veil("r", u'→')));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/str/wmemrchr_test.c b/test/libc/str/wmemrchr_test.c
index 9e39ae657..e13fff34f 100644
--- a/test/libc/str/wmemrchr_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/str/wmemrchr_test.c
@@ -30,5 +30,5 @@ TEST(wmemrchr, test) {
 
 BENCH(wmemrchr, bench) {
   EZBENCH2("wmemrchr", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(wmemrchr(L"yo.hi.there", '.', 11)));
+           __expropriate(wmemrchr(L"yo.hi.there", '.', 11)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/thread/makecontext_test.c b/test/libc/thread/makecontext_test.c
index 206e121c6..30e7cfcce 100644
--- a/test/libc/thread/makecontext_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/thread/makecontext_test.c
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ TEST(makecontext, args) {
   EXPECT_TRUE(gotsome);
 }
 
-noasan noubsan void itsatrap(int x, int y) {
+dontasan dontubsan void itsatrap(int x, int y) {
   *(int *)(intptr_t)x = scalbn(x, y);
 }
 
diff --git a/test/libc/tinymath/atanh_test.c b/test/libc/tinymath/atanh_test.c
index f2fe695be..8d258bf8b 100644
--- a/test/libc/tinymath/atanh_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/tinymath/atanh_test.c
@@ -64,7 +64,7 @@ TEST(atanhf, test) {
 
 BENCH(_atanh, bench) {
   volatile double a = .5;
-  EZBENCH2("atanhf", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(_atanhf(a)));
-  EZBENCH2("atanh", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(_atanh(a)));
-  EZBENCH2("atanhl", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(_atanhl(a)));
+  EZBENCH2("atanhf", donothing, __expropriate(_atanhf(a)));
+  EZBENCH2("atanh", donothing, __expropriate(_atanh(a)));
+  EZBENCH2("atanhl", donothing, __expropriate(_atanhl(a)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/tinymath/hypot_test.c b/test/libc/tinymath/hypot_test.c
index 360a8a2fb..63ca8afbf 100644
--- a/test/libc/tinymath/hypot_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/tinymath/hypot_test.c
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@ _hypotl                     l:        43𝑐        14𝑛𝑠   m:        74
 BENCH(_hypot, bench) {
   volatile double a = 2;
   volatile double b = 3;
-  EZBENCH2("hypotf", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(_hypotf(a, b)));
-  EZBENCH2("hypot", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(_hypot(a, b)));
-  EZBENCH2("hypotl", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(_hypotl(a, b)));
+  EZBENCH2("hypotf", donothing, __expropriate(_hypotf(a, b)));
+  EZBENCH2("hypot", donothing, __expropriate(_hypot(a, b)));
+  EZBENCH2("hypotl", donothing, __expropriate(_hypotl(a, b)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/tinymath/magicu_test.c b/test/libc/tinymath/magicu_test.c
index 2c19bc0ef..3502b3a09 100644
--- a/test/libc/tinymath/magicu_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/tinymath/magicu_test.c
@@ -49,8 +49,9 @@ TEST(magicu, test) {
 
 BENCH(magicu, bench) {
   struct magicu d = __magicu_get(UINT32_MAX);
-  EZBENCH2("__magicu_get", donothing, __magicu_get(VEIL("r", UINT32_MAX)));
+  EZBENCH2("__magicu_get", donothing, __magicu_get(__veil("r", UINT32_MAX)));
   EZBENCH2("__magicu_div", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(__magicu_div(VEIL("r", 77u), d)));
-  EZBENCH2("/", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(VEIL("r", 77u) / VEIL("r", UINT32_MAX)));
+           __expropriate(__magicu_div(__veil("r", 77u), d)));
+  EZBENCH2("/", donothing,
+           __expropriate(__veil("r", 77u) / __veil("r", UINT32_MAX)));
 }
diff --git a/test/libc/tinymath/round_test.c b/test/libc/tinymath/round_test.c
index 477b2bb35..efcd105bc 100644
--- a/test/libc/tinymath/round_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/tinymath/round_test.c
@@ -215,10 +215,12 @@ TEST(lroundl, test) {
 
 BENCH(round, bench) {
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-  EZBENCH2("double+.5", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(VEIL("x", (double)(-3.5)) + .5));
-  EZBENCH2("float+.5f", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(VEIL("x", (float)(-3.5)) + .5));
+  EZBENCH2("double+.5", donothing,
+           __expropriate(__veil("x", (double)(-3.5)) + .5));
+  EZBENCH2("float+.5f", donothing,
+           __expropriate(__veil("x", (float)(-3.5)) + .5));
   EZBENCH2("ldbl+.5l", donothing,
-           EXPROPRIATE(VEIL("t", (long double)(-3.5)) + .5));
+           __expropriate(__veil("t", (long double)(-3.5)) + .5));
 #endif
   EZBENCH2("round", donothing, _round(.7));   /* ~4ns */
   EZBENCH2("roundf", donothing, _roundf(.7)); /* ~3ns */
diff --git a/test/libc/x/xstrcat_test.c b/test/libc/x/xstrcat_test.c
index a47e45d11..7c1eb1225 100644
--- a/test/libc/x/xstrcat_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/x/xstrcat_test.c
@@ -48,16 +48,16 @@ int hard_static(void) {
 int hard_dynamic(void) {
   char *b, *p;
   p = b = malloc(16);
-  p = stpcpy(p, VEIL("r", "eins"));
-  p = stpcpy(p, VEIL("r", "zwei"));
-  p = stpcpy(p, VEIL("r", "drei"));
+  p = stpcpy(p, __veil("r", "eins"));
+  p = stpcpy(p, __veil("r", "zwei"));
+  p = stpcpy(p, __veil("r", "drei"));
   free(b);
   return (intptr_t)b;
 }
 
 BENCH(xstrcat, bench) {
-  EZBENCH2("hard_static", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(hard_static()));
-  EZBENCH2("hard_dynamic", donothing, EXPROPRIATE(hard_dynamic()));
+  EZBENCH2("hard_static", donothing, __expropriate(hard_static()));
+  EZBENCH2("hard_dynamic", donothing, __expropriate(hard_dynamic()));
   EZBENCH2("xstrcat", donothing, free(xstrcat("eins", "zwei", "drei")));
   EZBENCH2("xasprintf", donothing,
            free(xasprintf("%s%s%s", "eins", "zwei", "drei")));
diff --git a/test/libc/zipos/open_test.c b/test/libc/zipos/open_test.c
index 13c4e0c8d..e8d49e873 100644
--- a/test/libc/zipos/open_test.c
+++ b/test/libc/zipos/open_test.c
@@ -26,11 +26,11 @@
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 #include "libc/thread/spawn.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("libc/testlib/hyperion.txt");
-STATIC_YOINK("inflate");
-STATIC_YOINK("inflateInit2");
-STATIC_YOINK("inflateEnd");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("libc/testlib/hyperion.txt");
+__static_yoink("inflate");
+__static_yoink("inflateInit2");
+__static_yoink("inflateEnd");
 
 int Worker(void *arg, int tid) {
   int i, fd;
diff --git a/test/tool/net/redbean_test.c b/test/tool/net/redbean_test.c
index c0d6f44b9..afc40c65a 100644
--- a/test/tool/net/redbean_test.c
+++ b/test/tool/net/redbean_test.c
@@ -41,8 +41,8 @@
 #include "third_party/regex/regex.h"
 #ifdef __x86_64__
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("o/" MODE "/test/tool/net/redbean-tester.com");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("o/" MODE "/test/tool/net/redbean-tester.com");
 
 char testlib_enable_tmp_setup_teardown_once;
 int port;
diff --git a/test/tool/plinko/plinko_test.c b/test/tool/plinko/plinko_test.c
index 2d63eb5fd..1d9df1513 100644
--- a/test/tool/plinko/plinko_test.c
+++ b/test/tool/plinko/plinko_test.c
@@ -29,15 +29,15 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/sig.h"
 #include "libc/testlib/testlib.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
-STATIC_YOINK("plinko.com");
-STATIC_YOINK("library.lisp");
-STATIC_YOINK("library_test.lisp");
-STATIC_YOINK("binarytrees.lisp");
-STATIC_YOINK("algebra.lisp");
-STATIC_YOINK("algebra_test.lisp");
-STATIC_YOINK("infix.lisp");
-STATIC_YOINK("ok.lisp");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
+__static_yoink("plinko.com");
+__static_yoink("library.lisp");
+__static_yoink("library_test.lisp");
+__static_yoink("binarytrees.lisp");
+__static_yoink("algebra.lisp");
+__static_yoink("algebra_test.lisp");
+__static_yoink("infix.lisp");
+__static_yoink("ok.lisp");
 
 static const char *const kSauces[] = {
     "/zip/library.lisp",       //
diff --git a/third_party/chibicc/test/test.h b/third_party/chibicc/test/test.h
index e6a6e4c7c..0bd6bb061 100644
--- a/third_party/chibicc/test/test.h
+++ b/third_party/chibicc/test/test.h
@@ -3,8 +3,8 @@
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("sys_mmap");            /* asan needs it */
-STATIC_YOINK("TrackMemoryInterval"); /* asan needs it */
+__static_yoink("sys_mmap");            /* asan needs it */
+__static_yoink("TrackMemoryInterval"); /* asan needs it */
 
 #define ASSERT(x, y)    Assert2(x, y, #y, __FILE__, __LINE__)
 #define ASSERT128(x, y) Assert128(x, y, #y, __FILE__, __LINE__)
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/absvdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/absvdi2.c
index bf9077ca2..0628ee38a 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/absvdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/absvdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  *===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
  
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/absvsi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/absvsi2.c
index cf60b6207..b60c5281e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/absvsi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/absvsi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
  
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/absvti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/absvti2.c
index 86f1a0b89..db7d23294 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/absvti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/absvti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/adddf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/adddf3.c
index 8dfba8840..c3fcaaa40 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/adddf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/adddf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_add_impl.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/addsf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/addsf3.c
index 909eabeab..2fe1bd990 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/addsf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/addsf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_add_impl.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/addtf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/addtf3.c
index 535256e80..902c9b374 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/addtf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/addtf3.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ashldi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ashldi3.c
index edb6a650e..112e5e2ca 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ashldi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ashldi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrdi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrdi3.c
index 844227144..c00c2eea6 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrdi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrdi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrti3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrti3.c
index 4c3cc3d50..8f5f79bac 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrti3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ashrti3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapdi2.c
index e3e61e90e..3b1aec649 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapsi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapsi2.c
index 01c34c475..3e8155f95 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapsi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/bswapsi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/clzdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/clzdi2.c
index b2e4e222b..8d7155ef3 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/clzdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/clzdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/clzsi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/clzsi2.c
index 32d52e74f..24df9b209 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/clzsi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/clzsi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/clzti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/clzti2.c
index 4894b43dc..b1a673a22 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/clzti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/clzti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpdi2.c
index 5aabf4fe9..578cef946 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpti2.c
index 0e4d86c6e..d4b3ae6e4 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/cmpti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/comparedf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/comparedf2.c
index 6e36614f3..45a9b1e03 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/comparedf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/comparedf2.c
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/comparesf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/comparesf2.c
index 008da5455..8e785039e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/comparesf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/comparesf2.c
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzdi2.c
index 6fae24001..31c058729 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzsi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzsi2.c
index 42f57be5d..3feb60d28 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzsi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzsi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzti2.c
index 981b1089d..e5782d699 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ctzti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divdc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divdc3.c
index ac2320c0f..e36bc8b12 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divdc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divdc3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divdf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divdf3.c
index 42078c61f..066ce3ed3 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divdf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divdf3.c
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "libc/literal.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divdi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divdi3.c
index 1c8b2cf23..1c1048b13 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divdi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divdi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divmoddi4.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divmoddi4.c
index 0080c6394..a69264ecf 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divmoddi4.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divmoddi4.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divmodsi4.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divmodsi4.c
index 20ed8359e..ac6498f0e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divmodsi4.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divmodsi4.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divsc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divsc3.c
index d651b9484..bd7fae559 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divsc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divsc3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  *===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divsf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divsf3.c
index d93e977a9..308ac30aa 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divsf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divsf3.c
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "libc/literal.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divsi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divsi3.c
index 0737b05b0..e45934c2f 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divsi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divsi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divtc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divtc3.c
index 28e20f501..85353651c 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divtc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divtc3.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divtf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divtf3.c
index 3d5f26258..bbfd12c09 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divtf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divtf3.c
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "libc/literal.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/divxc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/divxc3.c
index 7e8216802..b2bbea46a 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/divxc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/divxc3.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/extenddftf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/extenddftf2.c
index f4ad3ed91..1a836b0c1 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/extenddftf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/extenddftf2.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 //
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/extendhfsf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/extendhfsf2.c
index 8d5361dc0..709f031a3 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/extendhfsf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/extendhfsf2.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 //
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SRC_HALF
 #define DST_SINGLE
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsfdf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsfdf2.c
index 528b162f9..4db018864 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsfdf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsfdf2.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 //
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SRC_SINGLE
 #define DST_DOUBLE
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsftf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsftf2.c
index 6997ba73e..65fd1e49f 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsftf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/extendsftf2.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 //
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsdi2.c
index 698520503..0b4406360 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ffssi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ffssi2.c
index e5140c49d..663cfe8ab 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ffssi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ffssi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsti2.c
index a004168be..19fada7dd 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ffsti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfdi.c
index 5af27de32..90330d838 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfdi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfsi.c
index 6d8b176c6..d47ddbcae 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfsi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfti.c
index a3cd50132..b2a980695 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixdfti.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfdi.c
index f774a5b72..8f6c88d82 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfdi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfsi.c
index 9104d21d4..40d3b8424 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfsi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfti.c
index 3d080e9d5..f9dcadf62 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixsfti.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfdi.c
index d7c280a1e..fce9af86f 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfdi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfsi.c
index 25341cf70..04a298fdb 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfsi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfti.c
index 0d7c7d064..0c74e222f 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixtfti.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfdi.c
index 72ad0e863..161078cff 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfdi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfsi.c
index d36652d1b..2e340fe8f 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfsi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfti.c
index 2451e1b80..ee518700f 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsdfti.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfdi.c
index bc7da50fb..47692e9b0 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfdi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfsi.c
index cb5327016..21a04e8fd 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfsi.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfti.c
index 0a9e936c8..5cf032011 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunssfti.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfdi.c
index 7b032b61b..1bc370bb3 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfdi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfsi.c
index 3195c3596..17c6915da 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfsi.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfti.c
index 474bfa56c..1ddaca8d1 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunstfti.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfdi.c
index 74df1c457..0885e97c7 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfdi.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfsi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfsi.c
index 4cd4e92b4..8ecc69604 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfsi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfsi.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfti.c
index 5fd8bc4ef..5ba62d4e1 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixunsxfti.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfdi.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfdi.c
index e6d002b8e..153294a72 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfdi.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfdi.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfti.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfti.c
index 2c3039c90..4338fe32e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfti.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/fixxfti.c
@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #if !(LDBL_MANT_DIG == 53 && LDBL_MAX_EXP == 1024)
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdidf.c
index aed5781f3..db623cec9 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdidf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  *===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "libc/literal.h"
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdisf.c
index a508ced5d..3a08358d1 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdisf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  *===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 /* Returns: convert a to a float, rounding toward even.*/
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatditf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatditf.c
index 5cfdea1bf..46614f0d5 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatditf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatditf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdixf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdixf.c
index 8043e1601..447c43b52 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdixf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatdixf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */ 
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsidf.c
index 0c06a6532..9138e52f6 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsidf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsisf.c
index 414353330..1cfa4b6b9 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsisf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsitf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsitf.c
index f872cff8b..1131277ef 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsitf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatsitf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattidf.c
index 63e8906dd..4a546d65d 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattidf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattisf.c
index 8caae762f..c8dc92a64 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattisf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattitf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattitf.c
index eb1c2ffa4..09ef61626 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattitf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattitf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattixf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattixf.c
index 1236afa0c..6101c9ad5 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floattixf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floattixf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundidf.c
index 3f4507890..ff66ac432 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundidf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 /* Returns: convert a to a double, rounding toward even. */
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundisf.c
index 179d18955..df4f31593 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundisf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  *===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 /* Returns: convert a to a float, rounding toward even. */
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunditf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunditf.c
index 9a37481fb..8390100f4 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunditf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunditf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundixf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundixf.c
index 69ba1dae5..a7c79c58e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundixf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatundixf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsidf.c
index e06933eb4..6b876e3b6 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsidf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsisf.c
index 37ada245f..f0e6a1815 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsisf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsitf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsitf.c
index 439ef857b..e35ca67f2 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsitf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatunsitf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntidf.c
index d3d206d81..63d62bfa4 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntidf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntisf.c
index 79b78c9ba..0cee56321 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntisf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntitf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntitf.c
index 1b1355269..f58a98a87 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntitf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntitf.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntixf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntixf.c
index 03c2e68ce..b2d6b3b63 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntixf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/floatuntixf.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/lshrdi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/lshrdi3.c
index 02fedf838..8d2af3c9d 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/lshrdi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/lshrdi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/mingw_fixfloat.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/mingw_fixfloat.c
index 6078cc2e0..7d3f3f957 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/mingw_fixfloat.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/mingw_fixfloat.c
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/moddi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/moddi3.c
index 62bb28514..2539b2cb4 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/moddi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/moddi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/modsi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/modsi3.c
index 7d65ae3eb..8fc16a414 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/modsi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/modsi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/modti3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/modti3.c
index 5a30fd221..aae613943 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/modti3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/modti3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/muldc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/muldc3.c
index 5b54fe39b..748d21fda 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/muldc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/muldc3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_math.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/muldf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/muldf3.c
index 07fe0a178..f64236544 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/muldf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/muldf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_mul_impl.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/muldi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/muldi3.c
index ecf3065c0..8f894d27c 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/muldi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/muldi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsc3.c
index 519d18621..5cd9be749 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsc3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_math.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsf3.c
index d3a6437fa..03405a2d8 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/mulsf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_mul_impl.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/multc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/multc3.c
index e6dc3ab5a..187b7af1e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/multc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/multc3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_math.h"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/multi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/multi3.c
index 130a47b90..46c044b16 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/multi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/multi3.c
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
  *
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
  * This file implements __multi3 for the compiler_rt library.
  *
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/mulxc3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/mulxc3.c
index 43cf4af7b..f9d904c17 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/mulxc3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/mulxc3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/negdf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/negdf2.c
index 25df24dd6..1800784d6 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/negdf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/negdf2.c
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/negdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/negdi2.c
index 8389752ba..8bfeccc36 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/negdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/negdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/negsf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/negsf2.c
index acae8a2b3..5e1e01c17 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/negsf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/negsf2.c
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/negti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/negti2.c
index 457cf71a3..d6bfc97ad 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/negti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/negti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdidf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdidf.c
index 73dc47926..546d10317 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdidf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdidf.c
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
  * License. See LICENSE.TXT for details.
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 /* double __floatdidf(di_int a); */
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdisf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdisf.c
index 5d5fcd2df..ccc05ab7a 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdisf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdisf.c
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
  * License. See LICENSE.TXT for details.
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if defined(__x86_64__) || defined(_M_X64)
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdixf.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdixf.c
index 48b2ea4e3..611e0b5aa 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdixf.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/nexgen32e/floatdixf.c
@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
  * License. See LICENSE.TXT for details.
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 /* long double __floatdixf(di_int a); */
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/os_version_check.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/os_version_check.c
index 590e3473d..202fa80a4 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/os_version_check.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/os_version_check.c
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #ifdef __APPLE__
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/paritydi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/paritydi2.c
index b08396e97..0203dc32d 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/paritydi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/paritydi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/paritysi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/paritysi2.c
index 2b54c7471..fe4c92da0 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/paritysi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/paritysi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/parityti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/parityti2.c
index 0105965e7..2452546e8 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/parityti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/parityti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */ 
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountdi2.c
index ae21c6c47..05974b2e0 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountsi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountsi2.c
index b427e66c6..bcebe49a3 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountsi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountsi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountti2.c
index cc2afb243..1d54829a8 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/popcountti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/powidf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/powidf2.c
index 8120ea91e..59d5bac63 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/powidf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/powidf2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/powisf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/powisf2.c
index 7a12977e4..28b420395 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/powisf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/powisf2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/powitf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/powitf2.c
index 611053bc0..8f2fa20d7 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/powitf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/powitf2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/powixf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/powixf2.c
index c7253c032..2c844cd64 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/powixf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/powixf2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #if !_ARCH_PPC
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/subdf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/subdf3.c
index e60bcec20..b969e26f9 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/subdf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/subdf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define DOUBLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/subsf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/subsf3.c
index 586f3c76c..2f9b57c9e 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/subsf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/subsf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SINGLE_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/subtf3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/subtf3.c
index 56f30f1ae..5dcf27f2c 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/subtf3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/subtf3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfhf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfhf2.c
index 7b02a818d..fd7b5a192 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfhf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfhf2.c
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SRC_DOUBLE
 #define DST_HALF
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfsf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfsf2.c
index 41ef176f4..84689fb49 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfsf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/truncdfsf2.c
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SRC_DOUBLE
 #define DST_SINGLE
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/truncsfhf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/truncsfhf2.c
index 5e0905f4e..27105daa3 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/truncsfhf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/truncsfhf2.c
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define SRC_SINGLE
 #define DST_HALF
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfdf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfdf2.c
index 61614e978..59fa047fe 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfdf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfdf2.c
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfsf2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfsf2.c
index cc3ba6e96..89e8bd5bc 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfsf2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/trunctfsf2.c
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
 //
 //===----------------------------------------------------------------------===//
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #define QUAD_PRECISION
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/fp_lib.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpdi2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpdi2.c
index 6da61b61c..99f0b2c79 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpdi2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpdi2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpti2.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpti2.c
index 41ca69c22..13cc81136 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpti2.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/ucmpti2.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivdi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivdi3.c
index 96ac0d619..5c472ade6 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivdi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivdi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmoddi4.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmoddi4.c
index 2599d078b..6bdc9f54a 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmoddi4.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmoddi4.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmodsi4.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmodsi4.c
index 386da175f..6124b3252 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmodsi4.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivmodsi4.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivsi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivsi3.c
index c293490b0..04ccf17ac 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/udivsi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/udivsi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/umoddi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/umoddi3.c
index 7edfc3de7..750f8e31c 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/umoddi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/umoddi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/umodsi3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/umodsi3.c
index 62571a3bf..03ec8c929 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/umodsi3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/umodsi3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/compiler_rt/umodti3.c b/third_party/compiler_rt/umodti3.c
index 399ecc1cf..7cc3a9ab2 100644
--- a/third_party/compiler_rt/umodti3.c
+++ b/third_party/compiler_rt/umodti3.c
@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@
  * ===----------------------------------------------------------------------===
  */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("huge_compiler_rt_license");
+__static_yoink("huge_compiler_rt_license");
 
 #include "third_party/compiler_rt/int_lib.h"
 
diff --git a/third_party/dlmalloc/dlmalloc.c b/third_party/dlmalloc/dlmalloc.c
index c0ec8ec55..548ca8d78 100644
--- a/third_party/dlmalloc/dlmalloc.c
+++ b/third_party/dlmalloc/dlmalloc.c
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@
 #endif
 
 #undef assert
-#define assert(x) _npassert(x)
+#define assert(x) npassert(x)
 
 #include "third_party/dlmalloc/platform.inc"
 #include "third_party/dlmalloc/locks.inc"
diff --git a/third_party/double-conversion/README.cosmo b/third_party/double-conversion/README.cosmo
index 1d8a81cfd..3ed7a05ad 100644
--- a/third_party/double-conversion/README.cosmo
+++ b/third_party/double-conversion/README.cosmo
@@ -14,4 +14,4 @@ LICENSE
 
 LOCAL CHANGES
 
-    - Use _unassert() macro for undefined behavior on failed assertions
+    - Use unassert() macro for undefined behavior on failed assertions
diff --git a/third_party/double-conversion/utils.h b/third_party/double-conversion/utils.h
index 1c369c906..81718ae6c 100644
--- a/third_party/double-conversion/utils.h
+++ b/third_party/double-conversion/utils.h
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@
 
 // [jart] use undefined behaavior to make code tinier
 //        use ubsan build mode to troubleshoot errors
-#define DOUBLE_CONVERSION_ASSERT(x) _unassert(x)
+#define DOUBLE_CONVERSION_ASSERT(x) unassert(x)
 #define DOUBLE_CONVERSION_UNREACHABLE() __builtin_unreachable()
 #define DOUBLE_CONVERSION_UNIMPLEMENTED() notpossible
 
diff --git a/third_party/ggml/common.cc b/third_party/ggml/common.cc
index b478bc3ce..09a9cd5c4 100644
--- a/third_party/ggml/common.cc
+++ b/third_party/ggml/common.cc
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@
 #include "third_party/libcxx/sstream"
 #include "third_party/libcxx/string"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 asm(".ident\t\"\\n\\n\
 llama.cpp (MIT License)\\n\
diff --git a/third_party/linenoise/linenoise.c b/third_party/linenoise/linenoise.c
index 4f7c23f7c..5893bf80e 100644
--- a/third_party/linenoise/linenoise.c
+++ b/third_party/linenoise/linenoise.c
@@ -1560,7 +1560,7 @@ static void linenoiseEditTranspose(struct linenoiseState *l) {
   p = q = malloc(c - a);
   p = mempcpy(p, l->buf + b, c - b);
   p = mempcpy(p, l->buf + a, b - a);
-  _unassert(p - q == c - a);
+  unassert(p - q == c - a);
   memcpy(l->buf + a, q, p - q);
   l->pos = c;
   free(q);
@@ -1581,7 +1581,7 @@ static void linenoiseEditTransposeWords(struct linenoiseState *l) {
   p = mempcpy(p, l->buf + yi, yj - yi);
   p = mempcpy(p, l->buf + xj, yi - xj);
   p = mempcpy(p, l->buf + xi, xj - xi);
-  _unassert(p - q == yj - xi);
+  unassert(p - q == yj - xi);
   memcpy(l->buf + xi, q, p - q);
   l->pos = yj;
   free(q);
diff --git a/third_party/lua/lauxlib.h b/third_party/lua/lauxlib.h
index 062726617..6d8d024a9 100644
--- a/third_party/lua/lauxlib.h
+++ b/third_party/lua/lauxlib.h
@@ -159,7 +159,7 @@ LUALIB_API void (luaL_requiref) (lua_State *L, const char *modname,
 #if defined LUAI_ASSERT
   #define lua_assert(c)		assert(c)
 #else
-  #define lua_assert(c)		_unassert(c)
+  #define lua_assert(c)		unassert(c)
 #endif
 
 #endif
diff --git a/third_party/lua/luaencodejsondata.c b/third_party/lua/luaencodejsondata.c
index badfb16ba..528f7d6d9 100644
--- a/third_party/lua/luaencodejsondata.c
+++ b/third_party/lua/luaencodejsondata.c
@@ -24,10 +24,12 @@
 #include "libc/log/rop.internal.h"
 #include "libc/mem/gc.internal.h"
 #include "libc/mem/mem.h"
+#include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/stack.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/append.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/strlist.internal.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "net/http/escape.h"
 #include "third_party/double-conversion/wrapper.h"
 #include "third_party/lua/cosmo.h"
@@ -169,7 +171,7 @@ static int SerializeTable(lua_State *L, char **buf, int idx,
   bool multi;
   bool isarray;
   lua_Unsigned n;
-  if (UNLIKELY(!HaveStackMemory(APE_GUARDSIZE))) {
+  if (UNLIKELY(!HaveStackMemory(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)))) {
     z->reason = "out of stack";
     return -1;
   }
diff --git a/third_party/lua/luaencodeluadata.c b/third_party/lua/luaencodeluadata.c
index b8a76a062..92bdf8ee9 100644
--- a/third_party/lua/luaencodeluadata.c
+++ b/third_party/lua/luaencodeluadata.c
@@ -22,10 +22,12 @@
 #include "libc/log/rop.internal.h"
 #include "libc/math.h"
 #include "libc/mem/mem.h"
+#include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/stack.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/append.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/strlist.internal.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/x/x.h"
 #include "third_party/double-conversion/wrapper.h"
 #include "third_party/lua/cosmo.h"
@@ -353,7 +355,7 @@ static int SerializeTable(lua_State *L, char **buf, int idx,
   int rc;
   bool multi;
   intptr_t rsp, bot;
-  if (UNLIKELY(!HaveStackMemory(APE_GUARDSIZE))) {
+  if (UNLIKELY(!HaveStackMemory(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)))) {
     z->reason = "out of stack";
     return -1;
   }
diff --git a/third_party/lua/lunix.c b/third_party/lua/lunix.c
index 79867a7f9..9d485d016 100644
--- a/third_party/lua/lunix.c
+++ b/third_party/lua/lunix.c
@@ -2869,7 +2869,7 @@ static int LuaUnixMemoryWake(lua_State *L) {
   count = luaL_optinteger(L, 3, INT_MAX);
   woken = nsync_futex_wake_((atomic_int *)GetWord(L), count,
                             PTHREAD_PROCESS_SHARED);
-  _npassert(woken >= 0);
+  npassert(woken >= 0);
   return ReturnInteger(L, woken);
 }
 
@@ -2886,7 +2886,7 @@ static int LuaUnixMemoryGc(lua_State *L) {
   struct Memory *m;
   m = luaL_checkudata(L, 1, "unix.Memory");
   if (m->u.bytes) {
-    _npassert(!munmap(m->map, m->mapsize));
+    npassert(!munmap(m->map, m->mapsize));
     m->u.bytes = 0;
   }
   return 0;
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/bignum.c b/third_party/mbedtls/bignum.c
index a682d977d..45a37b81f 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/bignum.c
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/bignum.c
@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@
 │ See the License for the specific language governing permissions and          │
 │ limitations under the License.                                               │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
+#include "third_party/mbedtls/bignum.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/bits.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/bsf.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/bswap.h"
@@ -23,7 +24,6 @@
 #include "libc/nexgen32e/x86feature.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
-#include "third_party/mbedtls/bignum.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/bignum_internal.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/chk.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/common.h"
@@ -291,7 +291,7 @@ int mbedtls_mpi_safe_cond_assign(mbedtls_mpi *X,
     for (i = 0; i < Y->n; i++)
         X->p[i] = Select(Y->p[i], X->p[i], -assign);
     for (i = Y->n; i < X->n; i++)
-        X->p[i] &= CONCEAL("r", assign - 1);
+        X->p[i] &= __conceal("r", assign - 1);
 cleanup:
     return( ret );
 }
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/platform.h b/third_party/mbedtls/platform.h
index 11d426046..f2b2cdae9 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/platform.h
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/platform.h
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
 #define MBEDTLS_ASSERT(EXPR) \
   ((void)((EXPR) || (__assert_fail(#EXPR, __FILE__, __LINE__), 0)))
 #else
-#define MBEDTLS_ASSERT(EXPR) _unassert(EXPR)
+#define MBEDTLS_ASSERT(EXPR) unassert(EXPR)
 #endif
 
 typedef struct mbedtls_platform_context {
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/rsa.c b/third_party/mbedtls/rsa.c
index d510a80c1..c29a18540 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/rsa.c
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/rsa.c
@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@
 │ See the License for the specific language governing permissions and          │
 │ limitations under the License.                                               │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
+#include "third_party/mbedtls/rsa.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/strace.internal.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/rand.h"
@@ -24,7 +25,6 @@
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/oid.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/platform.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/profile.h"
-#include "third_party/mbedtls/rsa.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/rsa_internal.h"
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/sha1.h"
 
@@ -1353,8 +1353,8 @@ forceinline unsigned size_greater_than( size_t size, size_t max )
 forceinline unsigned if_int( unsigned cond, unsigned if1, unsigned if0 )
 {
     unsigned mask = all_or_nothing_int( cond );
-    return( ( CONCEAL( "r",  mask ) & if1 ) |
-            ( CONCEAL( "r", ~mask ) & if0 ) );
+    return( ( __conceal( "r",  mask ) & if1 ) |
+            ( __conceal( "r", ~mask ) & if0 ) );
 }
 
 /**
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/secp384r1.c b/third_party/mbedtls/secp384r1.c
index 02153e9c4..c1418eb0d 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/secp384r1.c
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/secp384r1.c
@@ -234,7 +234,7 @@ void secp384r1(uint64_t p[12]) {
   p[4] = E;
   p[5] = F;
   p[6] = G;
-  G = CONCEAL("r", 0L);
+  G = __conceal("r", 0L);
   p[7] = G;
   p[8] = G;
   p[9] = G;
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/select.h b/third_party/mbedtls/select.h
index ea467500b..28f3f7b86 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/select.h
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/select.h
@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@
 COSMOPOLITAN_C_START_
 
 static inline uint64_t Select(uint64_t a, uint64_t b, uint64_t mask) {
-  return (CONCEAL("r", mask) & a) | (CONCEAL("r", ~mask) & b);
+  return (__conceal("r", mask) & a) | (__conceal("r", ~mask) & b);
 }
 
 COSMOPOLITAN_C_END_
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/test/lib.c b/third_party/mbedtls/test/lib.c
index 391d6e9f9..d3ae618ab 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/test/lib.c
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/test/lib.c
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ Copyright ARM Limited\\n\
 Copyright Mbed TLS Contributors\"");
 asm(".include \"libc/disclaimer.inc\"");
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 #if defined(MBEDTLS_PLATFORM_C)
 static mbedtls_platform_context platform_ctx;
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/test/test.inc b/third_party/mbedtls/test/test.inc
index 05e1da945..9412aac12 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/test/test.inc
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/test/test.inc
@@ -13,4 +13,4 @@ Copyright ARM Limited\\n\
 Copyright Mbed TLS Contributors\"");
 asm(".include \"libc/disclaimer.inc\"");
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
diff --git a/third_party/mbedtls/zeroize.c b/third_party/mbedtls/zeroize.c
index bae6eef66..f1045af9b 100644
--- a/third_party/mbedtls/zeroize.c
+++ b/third_party/mbedtls/zeroize.c
@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@
 #include "third_party/mbedtls/platform.h"
 
 // disable ubsan because n=0 is defined behavior in cosmopolitan
-noubsan void mbedtls_platform_zeroize(void *p, size_t n) {
+dontubsan void mbedtls_platform_zeroize(void *p, size_t n) {
   MBEDTLS_INTERNAL_VALIDATE(!n || p);
   bzero(p, n);
 }
diff --git a/third_party/nsync/common.internal.h b/third_party/nsync/common.internal.h
index 113a9b909..7d452c7be 100644
--- a/third_party/nsync/common.internal.h
+++ b/third_party/nsync/common.internal.h
@@ -222,7 +222,7 @@ static const uint32_t NSYNC_WAITER_TAG = 0x726d2ba9;
   0x1 /* waiter reserved by a thread, even when not in use */
 #define WAITER_IN_USE 0x2 /* waiter in use by a thread */
 
-#define ASSERT(x) _npassert(x)
+#define ASSERT(x) npassert(x)
 
 /* Return a pointer to the nsync_waiter_s containing struct Dll *e. */
 #define DLL_NSYNC_WAITER(e)                 \
diff --git a/third_party/nsync/mem/nsync_cv.c b/third_party/nsync/mem/nsync_cv.c
index fab7ac716..63b7a1c6c 100644
--- a/third_party/nsync/mem/nsync_cv.c
+++ b/third_party/nsync/mem/nsync_cv.c
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@
 
 // once we're paying the cost of nsync we might as well get the benefit
 // of a better pthread_once(), since no other component pulls it in now
-STATIC_YOINK("nsync_run_once");
+__static_yoink("nsync_run_once");
 
 asm(".ident\t\"\\n\\n\
 *NSYNC (Apache 2.0)\\n\
diff --git a/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_futex.c b/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_futex.c
index 2a3c69b6e..eb219291e 100644
--- a/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_futex.c
+++ b/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_futex.c
@@ -29,7 +29,7 @@
  * @fileoverview Semaphores w/ Linux Futexes API.
  */
 
-#define ASSERT(x) _npassert(x)
+#define ASSERT(x) npassert(x)
 
 /* Check that atomic operations on nsync_atomic_uint32_ can be applied to int. */
 static const int assert_int_size = 1 /
diff --git a/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_sem.c b/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_sem.c
index 3f13b8ffe..8c120085b 100644
--- a/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_sem.c
+++ b/third_party/nsync/mu_semaphore_sem.c
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@
  * @fileoverview Semaphores w/ POSIX Semaphores API.
  */
 
-#define ASSERT(x) _npassert(x)
+#define ASSERT(x) npassert(x)
 
 struct sem {
 	int64_t id;
diff --git a/third_party/python/Modules/cjkcodecs/xloadzd.c b/third_party/python/Modules/cjkcodecs/xloadzd.c
index 94eae7b3b..718f078cb 100644
--- a/third_party/python/Modules/cjkcodecs/xloadzd.c
+++ b/third_party/python/Modules/cjkcodecs/xloadzd.c
@@ -47,7 +47,7 @@ void *xloadzd(_Atomic(void *) *a, const void *p, size_t n, size_t m, size_t c,
   void *r, *g;
   int64_t x, y;
   if ((r = atomic_load_explicit(a, memory_order_acquire))) return r;
-  _unassert(z == 2 || z == 4);
+  unassert(z == 2 || z == 4);
   if (!(b = q = malloc(m))) return 0;
   if (__inflate(q, m, p, n)) {
     free(q);
diff --git a/third_party/python/Modules/main.c b/third_party/python/Modules/main.c
index ad87a68dd..85a3a80c3 100644
--- a/third_party/python/Modules/main.c
+++ b/third_party/python/Modules/main.c
@@ -8,8 +8,8 @@
 #include "libc/dce.h"
 #include "libc/errno.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
-#include "libc/sysv/consts/s.h"
 #include "libc/str/locale.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/s.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/abstract.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/bytesobject.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/ceval.h"
@@ -29,16 +29,16 @@
 #include "third_party/python/pyconfig.h"
 /* clang-format off */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__codecs");      // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__collections"); // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__functools");   // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__locale");      // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__operator");    // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__signal");      // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__sre");         // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit__stat");        // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit_errno");        // for pylifecycle.o
-STATIC_YOINK("PyInit_itertools");    // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__codecs");      // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__collections"); // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__functools");   // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__locale");      // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__operator");    // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__signal");      // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__sre");         // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit__stat");        // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit_errno");        // for pylifecycle.o
+__static_yoink("PyInit_itertools");    // for pylifecycle.o
 
 PYTHON_YOINK("site");                // for pylifecycle.o
 PYTHON_YOINK("struct");              // for memoryobject.o
diff --git a/third_party/python/Objects/object.c b/third_party/python/Objects/object.c
index 844aead36..78c025688 100644
--- a/third_party/python/Objects/object.c
+++ b/third_party/python/Objects/object.c
@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@
 │ Python 3                                                                     │
 │ https://docs.python.org/3/license.html                                       │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
+#include "third_party/python/Include/object.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/likely.h"
 #include "libc/log/countbranch.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/abstract.h"
@@ -28,7 +29,6 @@
 #include "third_party/python/Include/memoryobject.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/modsupport.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/namespaceobject.h"
-#include "third_party/python/Include/object.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/objimpl.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/odictobject.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/pycapsule.h"
@@ -1897,7 +1897,7 @@ _Py_NewReference(PyObject *op)
     _Py_INC_TPALLOCS(op);
 }
 
-noasan void
+dontasan void
 _Py_ForgetReference(PyObject *op)
 {
 #ifdef SLOW_UNREF_CHECK
diff --git a/third_party/python/Objects/obmalloc.c b/third_party/python/Objects/obmalloc.c
index bd45b7785..e9166b5b8 100644
--- a/third_party/python/Objects/obmalloc.c
+++ b/third_party/python/Objects/obmalloc.c
@@ -5,11 +5,11 @@
 │ https://docs.python.org/3/license.html                                       │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 #include "libc/assert.h"
-#include "libc/intrin/bits.h"
 #include "libc/calls/calls.h"
 #include "libc/dce.h"
 #include "libc/fmt/fmt.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/asan.internal.h"
+#include "libc/intrin/bits.h"
 #include "libc/mem/mem.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/map.h"
@@ -1910,13 +1910,13 @@ bumpserialno(void)
 
 #define SST SIZEOF_SIZE_T
 
-static inline optimizespeed noasan size_t
+static inline optimizespeed dontasan size_t
 read_size_t(const void *p)
 {
     return READ64BE(p);
 }
 
-static inline optimizespeed noasan void
+static inline optimizespeed dontasan void
 write_size_t(void *p, size_t n)
 {
     WRITE64BE((char *)p, n);
@@ -2049,7 +2049,7 @@ _PyMem_DebugRawFree(void *ctx, void *p)
     api->alloc.free(api->alloc.ctx, q);
 }
 
-static noasan void *
+static dontasan void *
 _PyMem_DebugRawRealloc(void *ctx, void *p, size_t nbytes)
 {
     _Static_assert(sizeof(size_t) == 8, "");
@@ -2138,7 +2138,7 @@ _PyMem_DebugRealloc(void *ctx, void *ptr, size_t nbytes)
  * and call Py_FatalError to kill the program.
  * The API id, is also checked.
  */
-static noasan void
+static dontasan void
 _PyMem_DebugCheckAddress(char api, const void *p)
 {
     const uint8_t *q = (const uint8_t *)p;
@@ -2191,7 +2191,7 @@ error:
 }
 
 /* Display info to stderr about the memory block at p. */
-static noasan void
+static dontasan void
 _PyObject_DebugDumpAddress(const void *p)
 {
     const uint8_t *q = (const uint8_t *)p;
diff --git a/third_party/python/Python/pystate.c b/third_party/python/Python/pystate.c
index a14dcee22..c748bb071 100644
--- a/third_party/python/Python/pystate.c
+++ b/third_party/python/Python/pystate.c
@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@
 │ Python 3                                                                     │
 │ https://docs.python.org/3/license.html                                       │
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
+#include "third_party/python/Include/pystate.h"
 #include "libc/errno.h"
 #include "libc/intrin/pushpop.internal.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/dlfcn.h"
@@ -15,11 +16,10 @@
 #include "third_party/python/Include/pydebug.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/pyerrors.h"
 #include "third_party/python/Include/pymem.h"
-#include "third_party/python/Include/pystate.h"
 /* clang-format off */
 
 #if defined(__SANITIZE_ADDRESS__) || defined(__SANITIZE_UNDEFINED__)
-STATIC_YOINK("__die"); /* to guarantee backtraces */
+__static_yoink("__die"); /* to guarantee backtraces */
 #endif
 
 /* Thread and interpreter state structures and their interfaces */
diff --git a/third_party/python/launch.c b/third_party/python/launch.c
index 994d6c975..fc6d8a9bc 100644
--- a/third_party/python/launch.c
+++ b/third_party/python/launch.c
@@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
 
 #define USE_COSMO_CRASH MODE_DBG + 0
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 PYTHON_YOINK("_bootlocale");
 PYTHON_YOINK("_locale");
 PYTHON_YOINK("encodings.aliases");
diff --git a/third_party/python/pycomp.c b/third_party/python/pycomp.c
index e69e82e05..ce96b9e4d 100644
--- a/third_party/python/pycomp.c
+++ b/third_party/python/pycomp.c
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@
 #include "tool/build/lib/stripcomponents.h"
 /* clang-format off */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyUnicode_GetCode");
+__static_yoink("_PyUnicode_GetCode");
 
 #define MANUAL "\
 SYNOPSIS\n\
diff --git a/third_party/python/pyobj.c b/third_party/python/pyobj.c
index 8f1cb90b1..19427152f 100644
--- a/third_party/python/pyobj.c
+++ b/third_party/python/pyobj.c
@@ -64,7 +64,7 @@
 #include "tool/build/lib/stripcomponents.h"
 /* clang-format off */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyUnicode_GetCode");
+__static_yoink("_PyUnicode_GetCode");
 
 #define MANUAL "\
 SYNOPSIS\n\
diff --git a/third_party/python/python.c b/third_party/python/python.c
index 1757bac95..3ae9cecc1 100644
--- a/third_party/python/python.c
+++ b/third_party/python/python.c
@@ -137,58 +137,58 @@ PYTHON_YOINK("encodings.utf_7");
 
 #ifndef TINY
 PYTHON_YOINK("pydoc_data.topics");
-STATIC_YOINK(".python/pydoc_data/_pydoc.css");
+__static_yoink(".python/pydoc_data/_pydoc.css");
 #endif
 
 /* todo(jart): delete nonessential yoinks */
 
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__bisect");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_cn");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_hk");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_iso2022");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_jp");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_kr");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_tw");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__csv");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__datetime");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__decimal");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__elementtree");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__json");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__lsprof");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__multibytecodec");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__multiprocessing");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__opcode");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__pickle");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__posixsubprocess");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__random");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__socket");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__sqlite3");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__stat");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__struct");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__symtable");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__testcapi");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab__tracemalloc");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_array");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_atexit");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_audioop");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_binascii");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_cmath");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_faulthandler");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_fcntl");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_fpectl");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_grp");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_math");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_mmap");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_parser");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_pwd");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_pyexpat");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_resource");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_select");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_syslog");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_termios");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_time");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_unicodedata");
-STATIC_YOINK("_PyImport_Inittab_zipimport");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__bisect");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_cn");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_hk");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_iso2022");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_jp");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_kr");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__codecs_tw");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__csv");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__datetime");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__decimal");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__elementtree");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__json");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__lsprof");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__multibytecodec");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__multiprocessing");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__opcode");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__pickle");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__posixsubprocess");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__random");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__socket");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__sqlite3");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__stat");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__struct");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__symtable");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__testcapi");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab__tracemalloc");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_array");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_atexit");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_audioop");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_binascii");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_cmath");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_faulthandler");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_fcntl");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_fpectl");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_grp");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_math");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_mmap");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_parser");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_pwd");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_pyexpat");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_resource");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_select");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_syslog");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_termios");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_time");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_unicodedata");
+__static_yoink("_PyImport_Inittab_zipimport");
 
 PYTHON_YOINK("__future__");
 PYTHON_YOINK("_bootlocale");
@@ -397,7 +397,7 @@ PYTHON_YOINK("email.parser");
 PYTHON_YOINK("email.policy");
 PYTHON_YOINK("email.quoprimime");
 PYTHON_YOINK("email.utils");
-STATIC_YOINK(".python/email/architecture.rst");
+__static_yoink(".python/email/architecture.rst");
 
 PYTHON_YOINK("importlib");
 PYTHON_YOINK("importlib.abc");
diff --git a/third_party/python/runpythonmodule.c b/third_party/python/runpythonmodule.c
index 249ae05ff..9500b0235 100644
--- a/third_party/python/runpythonmodule.c
+++ b/third_party/python/runpythonmodule.c
@@ -54,8 +54,8 @@
 
 STATIC_STACK_SIZE(0x100000);
 
-STATIC_YOINK("__die");
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("__die");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 PYTHON_YOINK("cosmo");
 PYTHON_YOINK("_locale");
diff --git a/third_party/regex/regcomp.c b/third_party/regex/regcomp.c
index 59e1a0f52..4b03aa929 100644
--- a/third_party/regex/regcomp.c
+++ b/third_party/regex/regcomp.c
@@ -334,7 +334,7 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_stack_push(tre_stack_t *s,
       if (new_buffer == NULL) {
         return REG_ESPACE;
       }
-      _unassert(new_size > s->size);
+      unassert(new_size > s->size);
       s->size = new_size;
       s->stack = new_buffer;
       tre_stack_push(s, value);
@@ -1209,7 +1209,7 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_add_tags(tre_mem_t mem, tre_stack_t *stack,
                 status = REG_ESPACE;
                 break;
               }
-              _unassert(tnfa->submatch_data[id].parents == NULL);
+              unassert(tnfa->submatch_data[id].parents == NULL);
               tnfa->submatch_data[id].parents = p;
               for (i = 0; parents[i] >= 0; i++) p[i] = parents[i];
               p[i] = -1;
@@ -1254,7 +1254,7 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_add_tags(tre_mem_t mem, tre_stack_t *stack,
                 next_tag++;
               }
             } else {
-              _unassert(!IS_TAG(lit));
+              unassert(!IS_TAG(lit));
             }
             break;
           }
@@ -1516,7 +1516,7 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_add_tags(tre_mem_t mem, tre_stack_t *stack,
     num_minimals++;
   }
 
-  _unassert(tree->num_tags == num_tags);
+  unassert(tree->num_tags == num_tags);
   tnfa->end_tag = num_tags;
   tnfa->num_tags = num_tags;
   tnfa->num_minimals = num_minimals;
@@ -1954,7 +1954,7 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_match_empty(tre_stack_t *stack, tre_ast_node_t *node,
             }
             break;
           case ASSERTION:
-            _unassert(lit->code_max >= 1 || lit->code_max <= ASSERT_LAST);
+            unassert(lit->code_max >= 1 || lit->code_max <= ASSERT_LAST);
             if (assertions != NULL) *assertions |= lit->code_max;
             break;
           case EMPTY:
@@ -1980,8 +1980,8 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_match_empty(tre_stack_t *stack, tre_ast_node_t *node,
       case CATENATION:
         /* The path must go through both children. */
         cat = (tre_catenation_t *)node->obj;
-        _unassert(cat->left->nullable);
-        _unassert(cat->right->nullable);
+        unassert(cat->left->nullable);
+        unassert(cat->right->nullable);
         STACK_PUSHX(stack, voidptr, cat->left);
         STACK_PUSHX(stack, voidptr, cat->right);
         break;
@@ -2245,8 +2245,8 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_make_trans(tre_pos_and_tags_t *p1,
             (p1->class ? ASSERT_CHAR_CLASS : 0) |
             (p1->neg_classes != NULL ? ASSERT_CHAR_CLASS_NEG : 0);
         if (p1->backref >= 0) {
-          _unassert((trans->assertions & ASSERT_CHAR_CLASS) == 0);
-          _unassert(p2->backref < 0);
+          unassert((trans->assertions & ASSERT_CHAR_CLASS) == 0);
+          unassert(p2->backref < 0);
           trans->u.backref = p1->backref;
           trans->assertions |= ASSERT_BACKREF;
         } else
@@ -2356,10 +2356,10 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_ast_to_tnfa(tre_ast_node_t *node,
 
     case ITERATION:
       iter = (tre_iteration_t *)node->obj;
-      _unassert(iter->max == -1 || iter->max == 1);
+      unassert(iter->max == -1 || iter->max == 1);
 
       if (iter->max == -1) {
-        _unassert(iter->min == 0 || iter->min == 1);
+        unassert(iter->min == 0 || iter->min == 1);
         /* Add a transition from each last position in the iterated
            expression to each first position. */
         errcode = tre_make_trans(iter->arg->lastpos, iter->arg->firstpos,
diff --git a/third_party/regex/regexec.c b/third_party/regex/regexec.c
index 548d70c22..0b559d477 100644
--- a/third_party/regex/regexec.c
+++ b/third_party/regex/regexec.c
@@ -394,7 +394,7 @@ static reg_errcode_t tre_tnfa_run_parallel(const tre_tnfa_t *tnfa,
             reach_next_i++;
 
           } else {
-            _unassert(reach_pos[trans_i->state_id].pos == pos);
+            unassert(reach_pos[trans_i->state_id].pos == pos);
             /* Another path has also reached this state.  We choose
                the winner by examining the tag values for both
                paths. */
@@ -521,7 +521,7 @@ typedef struct tre_backtrack_struct {
 #define BT_STACK_POP()                                                  \
   do {                                                                  \
     int i;                                                              \
-    _unassert(stack->prev);                                             \
+    unassert(stack->prev);                                              \
     pos = stack->item.pos;                                              \
     str_byte = stack->item.str_byte;                                    \
     state = stack->item.state;                                          \
@@ -847,8 +847,8 @@ static void tre_fill_pmatch(size_t nmatch, regmatch_t pmatch[], int cflags,
        submatches. */
     i = 0;
     while (i < tnfa->num_submatches && i < nmatch) {
-      if (pmatch[i].rm_eo == -1) _unassert(pmatch[i].rm_so == -1);
-      _unassert(pmatch[i].rm_so <= pmatch[i].rm_eo);
+      if (pmatch[i].rm_eo == -1) unassert(pmatch[i].rm_so == -1);
+      unassert(pmatch[i].rm_so <= pmatch[i].rm_eo);
 
       parents = submatch_data[i].parents;
       if (parents != NULL)
diff --git a/third_party/sqlite3/main.shell.c b/third_party/sqlite3/main.shell.c
index 681aa77a2..083c25117 100644
--- a/third_party/sqlite3/main.shell.c
+++ b/third_party/sqlite3/main.shell.c
@@ -1,2 +1,2 @@
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 #include "third_party/sqlite3/main.c"
diff --git a/third_party/sqlite3/shell.c b/third_party/sqlite3/shell.c
index ce01c2686..4cbd7d9e3 100644
--- a/third_party/sqlite3/shell.c
+++ b/third_party/sqlite3/shell.c
@@ -11429,7 +11429,7 @@ static char *cmdline_option_value(int argc, char **argv, int i){
 #  define main fiddle_main
 #endif
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos"); // for symtab
+__static_yoink("zipos"); // for symtab
 
 #if SQLITE_SHELL_IS_UTF8
 int SQLITE_CDECL main(int argc, char **argv){
diff --git a/third_party/tr/next.c b/third_party/tr/next.c
index 26eb776a5..545424e1d 100644
--- a/third_party/tr/next.c
+++ b/third_party/tr/next.c
@@ -295,7 +295,7 @@ backslash(STR *s)
 	size_t i;
 	int ch, val;
 
-	_unassert(*s->str == '\\');
+	unassert(*s->str == '\\');
 	s->str++;
 
 	/* Empty escapes become plain backslashes. */
diff --git a/tool/ape/ape.c b/tool/ape/ape.c
index 56c80360f..44f83b604 100644
--- a/tool/ape/ape.c
+++ b/tool/ape/ape.c
@@ -277,17 +277,17 @@ int _curl(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   mbedtls_ssl_init(&ssl);
   mbedtls_ctr_drbg_init(&drbg);
   mbedtls_ssl_config_init(&conf);
-  _unassert(!mbedtls_ctr_drbg_seed(&drbg, GetSslEntropy, 0, "justine", 7));
-  _unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_config_defaults(&conf, MBEDTLS_SSL_IS_CLIENT,
-                                         MBEDTLS_SSL_TRANSPORT_STREAM,
-                                         MBEDTLS_SSL_PRESET_DEFAULT));
+  unassert(!mbedtls_ctr_drbg_seed(&drbg, GetSslEntropy, 0, "justine", 7));
+  unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_config_defaults(&conf, MBEDTLS_SSL_IS_CLIENT,
+                                        MBEDTLS_SSL_TRANSPORT_STREAM,
+                                        MBEDTLS_SSL_PRESET_DEFAULT));
   mbedtls_ssl_conf_ca_chain(&conf, GetSslRoots(), 0);
   mbedtls_ssl_conf_rng(&conf, mbedtls_ctr_drbg_random, &drbg);
 #ifndef NDEBUG
   mbedtls_ssl_conf_dbg(&conf, OnSslDebug, 0);
 #endif
-  _unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_setup(&ssl, &conf));
-  _unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_set_hostname(&ssl, host));
+  unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_setup(&ssl, &conf));
+  unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_set_hostname(&ssl, host));
   mbedtls_ssl_set_bio(&ssl, &sock, TlsSend, 0, TlsRecv);
   if ((ret = mbedtls_ssl_handshake(&ssl))) {
     tinyprint(2, prog, ": ssl negotiation with ", host,
@@ -340,7 +340,7 @@ int _curl(int argc, char *argv[]) {
     i += g;
     switch (t) {
       case kHttpClientStateHeaders:
-        _unassert(g);
+        unassert(g);
         if ((rc = ParseHttpMessage(&msg, p, i)) == -1) {
           tinyprint(2, prog, ": ", host, " sent bad http message\n", NULL);
           exit(1);
@@ -376,7 +376,7 @@ int _curl(int argc, char *argv[]) {
         }
         break;
       case kHttpClientStateBodyLengthed:
-        _unassert(g);
+        unassert(g);
         if (i - hdrlen > paylen) {
           g = hdrlen + paylen - (i - g);
         }
diff --git a/tool/args/args.c b/tool/args/args.c
index 18729cdfd..05fe970cc 100644
--- a/tool/args/args.c
+++ b/tool/args/args.c
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/o.h"
 #include "libc/x/x.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 static struct ZipArgs {
   bool initialized;
diff --git a/tool/build/assimilate.c b/tool/build/assimilate.c
index 7d28e8088..5aec3be3c 100644
--- a/tool/build/assimilate.c
+++ b/tool/build/assimilate.c
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@
 #include "third_party/getopt/getopt.internal.h"
 #include "third_party/regex/regex.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror_wr");
+__static_yoink("strerror_wr");
 
 // options used: fhem
 // letters not used: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdgijklnopqrstuvwxyz
diff --git a/tool/build/cocmd.c b/tool/build/cocmd.c
index 0dfab8b6f..22690a95f 100644
--- a/tool/build/cocmd.c
+++ b/tool/build/cocmd.c
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@
 ╚─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────*/
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("glob");
+__static_yoink("glob");
 
 int main(int argc, char **argv, char **envp) {
   return _cocmd(argc, argv, envp);
diff --git a/tool/build/package.c b/tool/build/package.c
index 821522d8d..953c40882 100644
--- a/tool/build/package.c
+++ b/tool/build/package.c
@@ -43,7 +43,7 @@
 #include "third_party/xed/x86.h"
 #include "tool/build/lib/getargs.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("realloc");
+__static_yoink("realloc");
 
 /**
  * @fileoverview Build Package Script.
diff --git a/tool/build/pledge.c b/tool/build/pledge.c
index 765a91831..7e67632e9 100644
--- a/tool/build/pledge.c
+++ b/tool/build/pledge.c
@@ -69,8 +69,8 @@
 //     test/tool/build/pledge_test.sh
 //
 
-STATIC_YOINK("strerror_wr");
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("strerror_wr");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 #define USAGE \
   "\
diff --git a/tool/build/sha256sum.c b/tool/build/sha256sum.c
index 806b9221b..7b358591c 100644
--- a/tool/build/sha256sum.c
+++ b/tool/build/sha256sum.c
@@ -119,15 +119,15 @@ static bool GetDigest(const char *path, FILE *f, unsigned char digest[32]) {
   unsigned char buf[512];
   mbedtls_sha256_context ctx;
   mbedtls_sha256_init(&ctx);
-  _unassert(!mbedtls_sha256_starts_ret(&ctx, false));
+  unassert(!mbedtls_sha256_starts_ret(&ctx, false));
   while ((got = fread(buf, 1, sizeof(buf), f))) {
-    _unassert(!mbedtls_sha256_update_ret(&ctx, buf, got));
+    unassert(!mbedtls_sha256_update_ret(&ctx, buf, got));
   }
   if (ferror(f)) {
     tinyprint(2, prog, ": ", path, ": ", strerror(errno), "\n", NULL);
     return false;
   }
-  _unassert(!mbedtls_sha256_finish_ret(&ctx, digest));
+  unassert(!mbedtls_sha256_finish_ret(&ctx, digest));
   mbedtls_sha256_free(&ctx);
   return true;
 }
diff --git a/tool/curl/curl.c b/tool/curl/curl.c
index 4ae79e7c1..dd718064d 100644
--- a/tool/curl/curl.c
+++ b/tool/curl/curl.c
@@ -364,18 +364,18 @@ int _curl(int argc, char *argv[]) {
     mbedtls_ssl_init(&ssl);
     mbedtls_ctr_drbg_init(&drbg);
     mbedtls_ssl_config_init(&conf);
-    _unassert(!mbedtls_ctr_drbg_seed(&drbg, GetSslEntropy, 0, "justine", 7));
-    _unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_config_defaults(&conf, MBEDTLS_SSL_IS_CLIENT,
-                                           MBEDTLS_SSL_TRANSPORT_STREAM,
-                                           ciphersuite));
+    unassert(!mbedtls_ctr_drbg_seed(&drbg, GetSslEntropy, 0, "justine", 7));
+    unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_config_defaults(&conf, MBEDTLS_SSL_IS_CLIENT,
+                                          MBEDTLS_SSL_TRANSPORT_STREAM,
+                                          ciphersuite));
     mbedtls_ssl_conf_authmode(&conf, authmode);
     mbedtls_ssl_conf_ca_chain(&conf, GetSslRoots(), 0);
     mbedtls_ssl_conf_rng(&conf, mbedtls_ctr_drbg_random, &drbg);
 #ifndef NDEBUG
     mbedtls_ssl_conf_dbg(&conf, OnSslDebug, 0);
 #endif
-    _unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_setup(&ssl, &conf));
-    _unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_set_hostname(&ssl, host));
+    unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_setup(&ssl, &conf));
+    unassert(!mbedtls_ssl_set_hostname(&ssl, host));
     mbedtls_ssl_set_bio(&ssl, &sock, TlsSend, 0, TlsRecv);
     if ((ret = mbedtls_ssl_handshake(&ssl))) {
       tinyprint(2, prog, ": ssl negotiation with ", host,
@@ -444,7 +444,7 @@ int _curl(int argc, char *argv[]) {
     i += g;
     switch (t) {
       case kHttpClientStateHeaders:
-        _unassert(g);
+        unassert(g);
         if ((rc = ParseHttpMessage(&msg, p, i)) == -1) {
           tinyprint(2, prog, ": ", host, " sent bad http message\n", NULL);
           exit(1);
@@ -501,7 +501,7 @@ int _curl(int argc, char *argv[]) {
         if (!g) goto Finished;
         break;
       case kHttpClientStateBodyLengthed:
-        _unassert(g);
+        unassert(g);
         if (i - hdrlen > paylen) {
           g = hdrlen + paylen - (i - g);
         }
diff --git a/tool/emacs/c.lang b/tool/emacs/c.lang
index b9d450b2d..15761c496 100644
--- a/tool/emacs/c.lang
+++ b/tool/emacs/c.lang
@@ -1663,12 +1663,12 @@ Keywords={
 "MACHINE_CODE_ANALYSIS_BEGIN_",
 "MACHINE_CODE_ANALYSIS_END_",
 "DebugBreak",
-"VEIL",
-"CONCEAL",
-"EXPROPRIATE",
-"YOINK",
-"STATIC_YOINK",
-"STATIC_YOINK_SOURCE",
+"__veil",
+"__conceal",
+"__expropriate",
+"__yoink",
+"__static_yoink",
+"__static_yoink_source",
 "STRINGIFY",
 "likely",
 "unlikely",
diff --git a/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-builtins.el b/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-builtins.el
index 14c9dbfc0..f044b54ec 100644
--- a/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-builtins.el
+++ b/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-builtins.el
@@ -202,11 +202,11 @@
 
         (cosmopolitan-builtin-functions
          '("DebugBreak"
-           "VEIL"
-           "CONCEAL"
-           "EXPROPRIATE"
-           "YOINK"
-           "STATIC_YOINK"
+           "__veil"
+           "__conceal"
+           "__expropriate"
+           "__yoink"
+           "__static_yoink"
            "PYTHON_YOINK"
            "PYTHON_PROVIDE"
            "STATIC_STACK_ADDR"
diff --git a/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-keywords.el b/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-keywords.el
index ba97f28db..708a67df6 100644
--- a/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-keywords.el
+++ b/tool/emacs/cosmo-c-keywords.el
@@ -71,9 +71,9 @@
            "nodebuginfo"
            "frownedupon"
            "wontreturn"
-           "noasan"
+           "dontasan"
            "nomsan"
-           "noubsan"
+           "dontubsan"
            "nostackprotector"
            "initarray"
            "mayalias"
diff --git a/tool/emacs/cosmo-cpp-constants.el b/tool/emacs/cosmo-cpp-constants.el
index b4d3da5b1..9f7bec4f1 100644
--- a/tool/emacs/cosmo-cpp-constants.el
+++ b/tool/emacs/cosmo-cpp-constants.el
@@ -178,7 +178,6 @@
  '("__SAUCE__"
    "PAGESIZE"
    "APE_STACKSIZE"
-   "APE_GUARDSIZE"
    "FRAMESIZE"
    "ARG_MAX"
    "PATH_MAX"
diff --git a/tool/net/ljson.c b/tool/net/ljson.c
index ded945f35..0d10b7bca 100644
--- a/tool/net/ljson.c
+++ b/tool/net/ljson.c
@@ -21,11 +21,13 @@
 #include "libc/intrin/likely.h"
 #include "libc/log/check.h"
 #include "libc/log/log.h"
+#include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/stack.h"
 #include "libc/stdckdint.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/str/tab.internal.h"
 #include "libc/str/utf16.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "third_party/double-conversion/wrapper.h"
 #include "third_party/lua/cosmo.h"
 #include "third_party/lua/lauxlib.h"
@@ -99,7 +101,7 @@ static struct DecodeJson Parse(struct lua_State *L, const char *p,
   if (UNLIKELY(!depth)) {
     return (struct DecodeJson){-1, "maximum depth exceeded"};
   }
-  if (UNLIKELY(!HaveStackMemory(APE_GUARDSIZE))) {
+  if (UNLIKELY(!HaveStackMemory(getauxval(AT_PAGESZ)))) {
     return (struct DecodeJson){-1, "out of stack"};
   }
   for (a = p, d = +1; p < e;) {
diff --git a/tool/net/redbean.c b/tool/net/redbean.c
index 19da60bb9..60b1127d7 100644
--- a/tool/net/redbean.c
+++ b/tool/net/redbean.c
@@ -141,16 +141,16 @@
 
 STATIC_STACK_SIZE(0x80000);
 
-STATIC_YOINK("zipos");
+__static_yoink("zipos");
 
 #ifdef USE_BLINK
-STATIC_YOINK("blink_linux_aarch64");  // for raspberry pi
-STATIC_YOINK("blink_xnu_aarch64");    // is apple silicon
+__static_yoink("blink_linux_aarch64");  // for raspberry pi
+__static_yoink("blink_xnu_aarch64");    // is apple silicon
 #endif
 
 #if !IsTiny()
 #ifdef __x86_64__
-STATIC_YOINK("ShowCrashReportsEarly");
+__static_yoink("ShowCrashReportsEarly");
 #endif
 #endif
 
@@ -4948,7 +4948,7 @@ static int LuaProgramTokenBucket(lua_State *L) {
   tokenbucket.ban = ban;
   tokenbucket.replenish = timespec_fromnanos(1 / replenish * 1e9);
   int pid = fork();
-  _npassert(pid != -1);
+  npassert(pid != -1);
   if (!pid) Replenisher();
   return 0;
 }
diff --git a/tool/plinko/plinko.c b/tool/plinko/plinko.c
index 2c53e875a..fc1039948 100644
--- a/tool/plinko/plinko.c
+++ b/tool/plinko/plinko.c
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
 #include "tool/plinko/lib/plinko.h"
 #include "libc/thread/tls.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("__zipos_get");
+__static_yoink("__zipos_get");
 
 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
   __tls_enabled = false;
diff --git a/tool/viz/life.c b/tool/viz/life.c
index 617baee45..02ebf904c 100644
--- a/tool/viz/life.c
+++ b/tool/viz/life.c
@@ -55,11 +55,13 @@
 #include "libc/nt/struct/openfilename.h"
 #include "libc/nt/windows.h"
 #include "libc/runtime/runtime.h"
+#include "libc/runtime/sysconf.h"
 #include "libc/sock/struct/pollfd.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/rand.h"
 #include "libc/stdio/stdio.h"
 #include "libc/str/str.h"
 #include "libc/str/strwidth.h"
+#include "libc/sysv/consts/auxv.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/ex.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/exit.h"
 #include "libc/sysv/consts/poll.h"
@@ -481,17 +483,17 @@ static void *NewBoard(size_t *out_size) {
   char *p;
   size_t s, n, k;
   s = (byn * bxn) >> 3;
-  k = APE_GUARDSIZE + ROUNDUP(s, APE_GUARDSIZE);
-  n = ROUNDUP(k + APE_GUARDSIZE, FRAMESIZE);
+  k = getauxval(AT_PAGESZ) + ROUNDUP(s, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ));
+  n = ROUNDUP(k + getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), sysconf(_SC_PAGESIZE));
   p = _mapanon(n);
-  mprotect(p, APE_GUARDSIZE, 0);
+  mprotect(p, getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), 0);
   mprotect(p + k, n - k, 0);
   if (out_size) *out_size = n;
-  return p + APE_GUARDSIZE;
+  return p + getauxval(AT_PAGESZ);
 }
 
 static void FreeBoard(void *p, size_t n) {
-  munmap((char *)p - APE_GUARDSIZE, n);
+  munmap((char *)p - getauxval(AT_PAGESZ), n);
 }
 
 static void AllocateBoardsWithHardwareAcceleratedMemorySafety(void) {
diff --git a/tool/viz/printimage.c b/tool/viz/printimage.c
index c57deb6ca..582984da6 100644
--- a/tool/viz/printimage.c
+++ b/tool/viz/printimage.c
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@
 #include "third_party/stb/stb_image.h"
 #include "tool/viz/lib/graphic.h"
 
-STATIC_YOINK("__zipos_get");
+__static_yoink("__zipos_get");
 
 static struct Flags {
   const char *out;
diff --git a/tool/viz/printpeb.c b/tool/viz/printpeb.c
index 89c869e7c..ff0f8729e 100644
--- a/tool/viz/printpeb.c
+++ b/tool/viz/printpeb.c
@@ -82,7 +82,7 @@ const struct IdName kNtStartfFlagNames[] = {
     {0, 0},
 };
 
-noasan void PrintStartupInfo(void) {
+dontasan void PrintStartupInfo(void) {
 #if 0
   printf("\n\
 ╔──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────╗\n\
@@ -161,7 +161,7 @@ void PrintStdioInfo(void) {
          ft2str(GetFileType(g_fds.p[2].handle)));
 }
 
-noasan void PrintTeb(void) {
+dontasan void PrintTeb(void) {
   GetCurrentProcessId();
   SetLastError(0x1234);
   printf("\n\